Repeal the healthcare bill if passed? Theoretically, yes. In practice, no chance. Yes, the link is an editorial. But the Czar (a sad pessimist) tends to take the side of its author. The Czar might even go further: why repeal … Continue reading →
CNN is trying to stay relevent by commenting on the new Coffee Party. Read the article, and decide if CNN even attempts to define the Coffee Party as anything short of a stunt. No? That’s all right; the Czar didn’t … Continue reading →
GorT reminds you to set your clocks ahead…to the year 5012. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated … Continue reading →
And not surprisingly, the Toyota Prius out-of-control bit turns out to be a hoax. The guy made it all up. And there is a reason you do not see this revelation on your news feeds: it makes the media look … Continue reading →
Scary news. Senator Reid’s wife and daughter were injured in a car accident. Details are unknown, but the injuries are not life-threatening. We hope for their rapid and complete recovery. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative GD writes in and says he understands the Department of Education intends to purchase 27 shotguns. Now, back a ways, operative MC popped into the Castle rumpus room and asked a similar question as to why the IRS … Continue reading →
Czar’s favorite quote: “I hope this will give other women in the same position the courage to come forward,” said Maria Alaimo, 47. Yeah, okay. That’s a rallying cry for four-breasted women everywhere. We are just not certain how many … Continue reading →
This sounds to ‘Puter like a feature, not a bug. Particularly if you’re this lady’s husband/boyfriend/slampiece/whatever. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes … Continue reading →
And now it is the Czar’s turn to receive email from the enigmatic but clearly refined and educated D.T.: Oh Czar, to whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hid: Like any diligent … Continue reading →
This one is a little bit off the wall. In Nevada, where Harry Reid is overdue to take a swan dive into the concrete walkway of voter reality, two candidates have emerged on the GOP side: Sue Lowden (front runner) … Continue reading →
According to USA Today, the “final” (if only!) healthcare vote will come either the day before the President leaves town or the day before Congress leaves town. Real nice. Have we received any sign from either the President or from … Continue reading →
Toyota Priuses evidently do not have a neutral gear to throw it into if the accelerator should stick. That’s what the Czar would do, if he were ever in one when the accelerator stuck. But the Czar has never been … Continue reading →
You’ve heard it and seen it and read it dozens of times: Obama is bringing Chicago politics to Washington! Obama, part of the Chicago machine, is doing business old school! The President is showing the world the Chicago way of … Continue reading →
According to this article from ChicagoRealEstateDaily.com a federal lawsuit filled by the owner of the Congress hotel accuses hotel workers from Local 1 of sending a “cow pie” to potential conventioneers. Apparently, if one is willing to believe this load … Continue reading →
Sorry to sound like a broken record here, but let us see how sincere the President is. Because the President is facing criticism from both sides of the aisle on his plan to privatize space exploration. Wait, let the Czar … Continue reading →
Operative JP, who has been in the Sahara on a very special archaeological dig for us—and if we’re right about what JP finds, you don’t want to know what’s been buried there for 4,000 years—writes in on reconciliation: If I … Continue reading →
The problem isn’t that Senator Orrin Hatch is right; it’s how wrong he isn’t. Hatch is being skewered by the likes of HuffPo and Rachel Maddow for an op ed piece he wrote, in which he claims that reconciliation has … Continue reading →
RB, a Gormogon operative you seldom hear us mention because he is on very special and secret assignment transforming Saturn’s E ring into a wideband radio receiver (don’t ask why; you’ll figure it out in 2014 when we bring it … Continue reading →
Courtesy Borepatch. Wow. Awesome. Evidently the Europeans did not realize how the British conduct their politics. Check out the Simon Cowell-like slam-bang Nigel Farage delivers to the so-called President of Europe, Herman Van Rompuy. But he calls the European socialists … Continue reading →
The same way we always do. Not to everybody in Iran, of course. Just one or two. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of … Continue reading →
And so the President might just pass the Senate bill onto the House of Representatives for the up or down vote with no changes to the original language. And let us say it passes. Unlikely, given the mess it is … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s stepping into your Volgi’s territory here, but never let it be said that Congress misses an opportunity to muck something up. The House Foreign Affairs Committee, apparently willfully ignorant of Turkey’s hypersensitivity to the issue, today voted 23-22 to … Continue reading →
And the Internet freaking knows it. Want proof? This popped up on a web page about a dude selling his 2008 Audi. Note the bottom link. Because of course, we are behind it. Look for links to this site on … Continue reading →
Dr. J slams this one in: Your Czarness, I am slowly drifting from the paranoid wing into the uberparanoid wing of the anti-Obamacare right. I have seen some folks suggesting that reconciliation may be a ruse to trick the house … Continue reading →
The Denny’s Restaurant chain is apologizing for a commercial it ran that joked about the Irish Potato Famine. The commercial was promoting an all-you-can-eat french fries and pancakes offer. This drew the ire of the Irish-American community who felt it … Continue reading →
Despite numerous assurances that the Democrats would never risk such a stunt, there is every appearance that they will attempt to pass portions of the healthcare mess through a procedure called reconciliation. You will see this word quite often in … Continue reading →
Some things happened in the 1980s and you no longer remember them. Well, the Czar remembers. And he remembers this limited-play tune. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was … Continue reading →
Why on earth would a pro-Obama liberal democrat want the right to carry a handgun in public? A must read for conservatives and their few remaining liberal friends on why gun control is a bad idea. And why he gives … Continue reading →
MC writes in. Check this out: Nice article on this crash – I followed it on Tim Vasquez’s weather blog and he did a nice job of laying out the meteorology. I believe this crash happened before I found your … Continue reading →
The Czar seems to have written poorly. ‘Puter is correct that that the Bill of Rights protects all citizens of all 50 states and wherever else the Contitution is accepted (territories, protectorates, et ceteras). But the Bill of Rights was … Continue reading →
‘Puter, as you know, is always right. As the Czar understands the editorial, The New York Times takes the position that the Bill of Rights is limited only to the federal government. For example, the First Amendment—which the Czar agrees … Continue reading →
A bit of poli sci jiggery pokery that the Czar has learned tends to be alarming. Interesting stat that 66% of Americans think everyone in Congress should be dumped. But it means nothing, usually, because Americans do not actually vote … Continue reading →
This explains why the US isn’t backing the UK in the Falklands oil drilling dispute. Read it and see. Done? Okay, you might ask, this explained nothing. Why is the US snubbing one of our best friends? It is in … Continue reading →
One thing that irks the Czar about conservatives is their innate reflex to demand a resignation. An Obama appointee knocks over a drink—some Congressperson calls for a resignation. An Obama appointee forgets to switch her watch back to Eastern time, … Continue reading →
If you’re a skeptic like the Czar, this sort of thing will blow whatever you’re drinking out your nose.Only Dr. Boli. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born … Continue reading →
Can you imagine what would happen if President Obama, faced with the economic recession, had given this as his inauguration speech? What would have happened to his support? Yes, it is a real speech from a historical leader taking power—but … Continue reading →
Who knew people were interested in social security reform, much less the nefarious Gormogon operative Dr. J. He makes a point ‘Puter had meant to make, but in his bleary-eyed haze, forgot to do so. Dr. J. writes: Puter, Loved … Continue reading →
So the New York Times still cannot see straight. From a wobbly attempt to portray the GOP’s attitudes on a healthcare reform meeting as cautious: Republican Congressional leaders on Tuesday rejected President Obama’s challenge to come up with a single … Continue reading →
Boy, today was a special day, wasn’t it, boys and girls? You got posts from all five of us! First, you woke up to another Mandarin Theater of the Absurd post. Then, the Czar raged about common sense because he … Continue reading →
And now hot dogs are the deadliest thing in the world. All right, parents, take the Czar’s quick advice. If your kid is too small to eat hot dogs without wolfing them down sideways, cut their hot dogs into small … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin found this little item while reading the Political Grapevine at Fox News.com: And finally, the BBC reports a woman trying to post a help wanted ad was told her request for “reliable and hard-working” applicants wasn’t allowed because … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been offline today as a result of consipring events. Primarily, Spawn the Lesser has a double ear infection and a wicked cold and was, hence, home. Now ‘Puter fears Spawn the Lesser’s younger, haler immune system has transmogrified the … Continue reading →
Although not as financially disastrous as Cap and Trade, know what’s just as dumb? Preparing a resolution that global warming is not a possibility. But that’s exactly what South Dakota just did. The whole point of our condemnation of Cap … Continue reading →
Super secret operative EC writes in with new from the field: Your Czarness: I know you follow this kind of thing, but you may have missed this item. Looks to me as if the Israelis just moved the goal posts … Continue reading →
Walter Koenig’s son Andrew, who appeared in Growing Pains, is missing and feared dead by suicide. This is perhaps the strangest sentence the Czar wrote this week. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin is pleased to share with you this piece of fan mail from Gormogon operative DF: Good one Centurion, liked it, liked it.Keep that binary humor coming! Well DF, all I can say to that is: 0100100100100000011010000110111101110000011001010010000001110100011010000110100101110011001000000110100101110011001000000110100101101110001000000111001001100101011100110111000001101111011011100111001101100101001000000111010001101111001000000111010001101000011001010010000001100011011000010111001001110100011011110110111101101110001000000111010001101000011000010111010000100000010010010010000001110000011011110111001101110100011001010110010000100000011101000110100001100101001000000110111101110100011010000110010101110010001000000110010001100001011110010010111000100000001000000100111101110100011010000110010101110010011101110110100101110011011001010010000001001001001000000110100001100001011101100110010100100000011011100110111100100000011010010110010001100101011000010010000001110111011010000110000101110100001000000111100101101111011101010010000001100001011100100110010100100000011101000110000101101100011010110110100101101110011001110010000001100001011000100110111101110101011101000010111000100000001000000100001001110101011101000010000001100001011100110010000001100001011011000111011101100001011110010111001100100000011101110110010100100000011010000110111101110000011001010010000001110100011010000110000101110100001000000111100101101111011101010010000001100011011011110110111001110100011010010110111001110101011001010010000001110100011011110010000001100110011011110110110001101100011011110111011100100000011101000110100001100101001000000111001101101001011101000110010100100000011000010110111001100100001000000110000101101100011101110110000101111001011100110010000001100110011001010110010101101100001000000110011001110010011001010110010100100000011101000110111100100000011001000111001001101111011100000010000001110101011100110010000001100001001000000110110001101001011011100110010100101110 We now … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin would like to share with you this correspondence from Gormogon operative GD regarding the Iranian Navy post: Also note: the C-803 surface-to-surface missile this thing sports is capable carrying of a nuclear warhead. If I were a burgeoning … Continue reading →
One thing that comes up a lot at the Castle is the intelligence of our readers. If there were a quantifiable way to assess the intelligence of someone, some sort of quotient perhaps, you would probably find that the combined … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative KM, strategically located close to the geographic center of the US (closer than us, anyway, so he gets the job), writes in. Most High and Honorable Czar, I don’t live anywhere near Tracy, California, thankfully, but hasn’t there … Continue reading →
In what is another disturbing advancement in Iranian military growth, the Associated Press is reporting that this thugocracy has launched its first locally built naval destroyer. According to the Iranians, the new shipped named the Jamaran is armed with anti-ship, … Continue reading →
Listen carefully. The media, and in turn the scientific community, seem to be creating this specious battle between Global Warming Supporters and the group known as Denialists. The real jackasses are a tiny portion found on both sides. On the … Continue reading →
This kind of weird news is right up the Mandarin’s alley. Gormogon operative GD has taken time off his turbulator project to point us to a twisted story that the city of Tracy, California, is going to start charging residents … Continue reading →
Tim Pawlenty delivered a tirade at the CPAC conference against President Obama’s progressivist policies, comparing the President to Tiger Woods and convervatives to Elin Nordegren. Democratic National Committee spokesperson Brad Woodhouse said… The American people don’t need more empty sound … Continue reading →
The Czar called his old buddy, the Dalai Lama, up this evening and asked about his historic meeting with President Obama. The Lama sighed and said “Two and a half freaking hours, and all he did was talk to me … Continue reading →
A possible case of pre-incarnation. The Czar suspects that late Hamas leader Mahmoud al-Mabhouh could be distantly related to Mummy actor Arnold Vosloo. His sources are checking into it now. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin was perusing the help wanted section, when I found this job posting for a technical writer position at Exelon Nuclear Partners. The only required skills for the job were, nuclear experience –no problem, I maintain the cold fusion … Continue reading →
Unlike GorT below, when ‘Puter thinks of WAGs, these are the WAGs (in body paint) that he likes to think of. Link is mostly SFW. If your boss doesn’t mind hot, semi-nude women in body paint. 'PuterAlways right, unless he … Continue reading →
From the cartoon section at Townhall.com The MandarinThe Mandarin, whose real name is 吏恆, joined the order in 1309, and introduced the Gormogons into England during the 18th Century. The Mandarin enjoys spending time with his pet manticore, Βάρἰκος, or … Continue reading →
This is awesome. GD writes in to respond to Dr. J. I prefer Chess: “A model of decorum and tranquility become, like any other sport, a battleground for rival ideologies to slug it out with glee…” Keep on Gormogonin’GD Thanks, … Continue reading →
Thank you for your thoughtful coverage of the opening ceremonies. I have always been a fan of ‘the Olympics’ since I was knee high to a grasshopper. Growing up in the 70s and 80s, the Olympics were more a proxy … Continue reading →
John Derbyshire at NRO has a post this morning concerning public sector union employees and their cancerous spread. Mr. Derbyshire implies that if the United States does nothing, its public sector unions will bankrupt the country, much as Greece’s public … Continue reading →
And ‘Puter was not an allegedly gay figure skater, so he said nothing. Well, ‘Puter can stay silent no longer. Via Drudge, definitely flamboyant and allegedly gay American men’s figure skater Johnny Weir received threats from animal rights activists for … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative (in charge of our lunar engineering project—laugh now, but when we puts wings on the thing and sail it around the solar system, you’ll say it’s cool) FJR writes in with her thoughts on Vancouver’s opening ceremonies: Greetings, … Continue reading →
Tough couple of months for the Global Warming crowd, eh? Turns out data corruption was so bad at the Climate Research Institute that results had to be fudged, forged, or fooled. And, uh, the glaciers are not quite melting. Sorry … Continue reading →
Quick thoughts on the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics? – Beijing? A cacophony of dissonant sounds and a billion dollars worth of LED displays to show the world how prosperous China is, especially when it bulldozes a stadium over its … Continue reading →
We mean that sincerely. We are also relieved you did not wait to get treatment, but got the needed surgery before your party dickered with the way we do healthcare in the country. Heck—if today’s system is good enough for … Continue reading →
The BBC News is outraged enough to report that Iran, the filthy scoundrels, is blocking communications among its residents. Evidently the BBC feels that government control of media is a bad thing. Evidently the BBC still charges a licensing fee … Continue reading →
This guy has clearly been reading ‘Puter’s anti-public union screeds approvingly. ‘Puter’s just dissapointed he didn’t get a shout out. Excellent job otherwise, Mr. Fancypants New York Post columnist. Or a Hello Kitty sticker. Like the one to the right. … Continue reading →
Not that way, perv. ‘Puter and Czar just got their Australian hunting licenses and are packing for rabbit-killing safari in Australia. The hunting weapon? Dynamite. So chock full of awesome. WIN! 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. … Continue reading →
Last week we discussed the iPad as a potential device to enable a resurgence in board games. At least it would enable a “virtual board game” where players in various physical locations could play Monopoly, Sorry, and the like. Especially … Continue reading →
The Czar is reading reports of Iranian protests as claims more than facts on both sides. Since media has been largely blacked out, most information on protests is arriving via Twitter and Youtube. Many reports seem credible, but with anyone … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative JS writes in, taking time from a very special mission of overseeing work on our underwater base on the Atlantic seabed. Sorry, Illinois, for the earthquake yesterday. Since no one was hurt, we can safely admit that was … Continue reading →
Really, really, you decided to name the train line that services the heart of Atlanta’s Asian community the yellow line. Your Mandarin is one who usually derides those who are hyper-politically correct, or take advantage of these situations to enhance … Continue reading →
Former Representative Charlie Wilson (D-TX) has passed away. The Gormogons express their condolences to the family. You may remember him as the subject of a whoppingly distorted biopic entitled Charlie Wilson’s War, in which Hollywood attempted to rewrite the history … Continue reading →
The Czar’s ignitor went out in his furnace last night around midnight. So he went to the basement, confirmed the furnace was working but not producing heat, and at exactly 12:31am called the emergency 24-hour help line that was on … Continue reading →
Perpetually not getting the attention it deserves is Iran, who again graciously extended its middle finger to the world. The Czar likes to imagine the world as a grade school playground; Iran tends to be the weird kid that no … Continue reading →
You know those new full body scanners employed at airports? You know how everyone promised the images of your (awesomely hot) naked self would be destroyed immediately after the screeners ascertained you weren’t packing (excepting that what God gave you)? … Continue reading →
Sign the Czar up as one of those people who is curious at the sudden difficulties Toyota is facing, all in a row. Bear in mind that Toyota has long known about its accelerator problems; they were reported some time … Continue reading →
You know, cemetaries are not very green, what with dumping bodies all over the place and filling them with noxious poisons like formaldehyde and sodium benzoate (as a preservative). So here’s a toast to cremation, which…well…pollutes the air. What’s a … Continue reading →
From the abstract of a Christian Science Monitor story: Laura Chinchilla won the Costa Rica election Sunday. She’ll be the country’s first woman president, echoing a trend across Latin America where women are being voted into high-level political office in … Continue reading →
The Gormogons wish to extend condolences to the family of Rep. John Murtha (D-PA) on his passing. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of … Continue reading →
Did the Czar expect the Saints to win? No, he figured on the Colts. Was the Czar surprised by the result? No, because once again—right at halftime, when Roger Daltrey realized he could no longer sing and Pete Townshend suspected … Continue reading →
It is really hard to not crow about something like this: I’m a great admirer of The Gormogons – I mean, who doesn’t like a multi-century secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania (among other things)? … Continue reading →
Looming war with Iran and a possible second recession not enough to keep you up at nights? Then joint the protest against Hasbro’s pink ouija board. Yep, there she is, all decked out in Barbie colors (except that’s a Mattel … Continue reading →
For those of you who have had to view our site through Skweezer or other means lately, we are back. You can go back to viewing us in our unexpurgated majesty. For the rest of you, who have no idea … Continue reading →
They found Shackleton’s scotch. Cases of Charles Mackinlay’s Whisky, a scotch blend, have been found in Antactica and positively linked to explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton, who stashed it there in 1909 to hide it from his wife. Ice covered the … Continue reading →
According to White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, ”National Public Radio is for those who don’t listen to radio or can’t buy cable TV.” Well I guess all of those paranoid schizophrenics were correct to wear foil helmets, the government … Continue reading →
The Czar, probably like the Mandarin, has received a few emails from non-Chicago-area residents asking where the hell our posts are on the Illinois Democratic lieutenant governor candidate controversy. Typical: I figured you guys would be ALL OVER the insane … Continue reading →
The Czar has often said that the press is pretty much a fourteen-year-old girl. They bop around from crush to crush, think they know everything, go straight to hysterical tears when someone turns on them, and especially see the world … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin happened upon this article today that outlines the progress being made by scientist to transplant pig lungs into humans. Aside from the fact that similar experiments have been going on here at the Castle for years – with … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin would like to share with you, the loyal Gormogon reader*, an email from JM, our mid-south operative: Robert Gibbs, Obama’s press secretary, has rubbed me the wrong way for a very long time. Probably what bothers me the … Continue reading →
Move along. At least, that’s what ‘Puter’s elected representatives would have him believe. First, New York raised its income tax rate on high earners, creating an effective tax rate not seen since the 1970s. You remember, right before New York … Continue reading →
The city of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania is contemplating filing for Chapter 9 bankruptcy protection. Apparently, even in Pennsyltucky, you can’t tax your way to prosperity. ‘Puter queries whether his legislature in Albany is watching. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible … Continue reading →
JD Salinger died a recluse, said the MSM, because he refused to give interviews. This is because the MSM understands only two categories: celebrities and recluses. One gives interviews, the other does not. The NYT sets the record straight. Salinger … Continue reading →
Sweatlodge dingbat James Ray, the New Agey guy whose sweatlodge practices killed a few people, says
Continue reading →How do I screw up the news? Let me count the ways. The Czar normally likes BBC News stories, because they are much better than their American counterparts at hiding their ignorance. The BBC, you know, tries to act much … Continue reading →
Don’t believe ‘Puter. Take the Wall Street Journal’s word for it. The interesting quote to ‘Puter is that even the patron saint of government control of American’s lives, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, thought public sector unions were such a threat to … Continue reading →
Long-time Gormogon friend (and frequent stay at the Castle), EC writes in to point out that nitrogen is in fact a potentially bad thing in the wrong setting. Your Czarness: Excellent rant vis a vis the poseurs and their fashionable … Continue reading →
Shock and shock. The Czar correctly figured out—frankly not much of a challenge for any Illinois resident to do—that Alexi Giannoulias and Mark Kirk would lock up the candidacy for Senate. But what the hell happened in the gubernatorial race? … Continue reading →
