‘Puter seconds Czar’s admonition to vote or die. And, in GorT’s plasma matrix brain, the choices are truly binary. ‘Puter did not vote today. First, because there are no elections in New York today. Second, because ‘Puter got called for … Continue reading →
In a move certain to disappoint gullible folks and malevolent frauds alike, the British medical journal Lancet has fully retracted a controversial study that linked childhood vaccinations to subsequent autism. Has it been 1998? Time flies, and that sadly resulted … Continue reading →
SN writes back, and the Czar thought his arguments were worth printing in total: Thanks for your post responding to my email. We’ll just have to disagree on some items but I wanted to make sure that I pointed out … Continue reading →
This is an incredibly important election year for many reasons. And for many of us, it begins today. If your area has primary elections, get out and vote. There is still time! We can send GorT out, if need be, … Continue reading →
Gormogon head of special appliances, MC, has been a bit quiet lately. Too quiet. Yes, he has been on special assignment—not saying what, but you think it is a coincidence that Mars and the moon are so close in the … Continue reading →
And so it seems that the Czar is not alone in his support for Adam Andrzekewski. Maybe the Rush Limbaugh endorsement is a help, but when Lech Wałęsa makes a rare trip to America for the sole reason of endorsing … Continue reading →
Devout loyalist reader SN writes in: Love your blog, so please don’t have me put to death for suggesting that you make a correction to your post on the Illinois primary. You wrote: “He is casually mentioning his service record … Continue reading →
Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned. NASA was saddened to learn that President Obama’s budget calls for the cancellation of the Constellation + Ares project, which meant to return Americans to the moon. The Czar is wondering what says … Continue reading →
Tuesday is a primary day in Illinois. Two races that are drawing enormous attention are for governor and for US senator. The Czar lives in Illinois when not at the Castle, and is presenting your choices. The Mandarin is welcome … Continue reading →
Indeed, GorT, which is why the Czar fears no human intelligence. All you machines are cheats. And liars. But mostly cheats. And liars. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar … Continue reading →
The Czar is writing off playing a PC because it “cheated”…likely story, probably one you will hear when he falls to GorT in the near future as we enjoy board game night in the Castle. Seriously, I know the outcome, … Continue reading →
From our perspective, totally spot on and brilliant. The Czar cannot begin to ennumerate all the things that are exactly correct in this video. Hat tip to Big Journalism for finding this gem. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, … Continue reading →
The Czar endorses the idea of porting old-timey board games to networked tablets. One game he would very much like to see is Stratego, which has entertained the Czar for decades. He is also wickedly good at it, and has … Continue reading →
The Czar defines “social justice” (a term being used like a weapon all around academia these days) as getting something that belongs to someone else. All right, here is a poser. You are the director of Chicago State University’s financial … Continue reading →
Your Czarness: Once again your humble correspondent is indebted to Your Czarness for sacrificing his time and, potentially, his mental health. I refer, of course, to your handy-dandy “State of the State of the Union” post. And served with a … Continue reading →
According to this article from the Mail Online, the children of working parents were banned from attending mid-term break field trips. What disqualified these students from attending trips to Knowsley Safari Park, soccer sessions with the Manchester United Foundation, and … Continue reading →
Miss the President’s State of MY Union speech? Saw but want to relive it with the Czar? Follow along with the entire text of the speech. The Czar offers his snark and reactions in red text throughout. Overall, the President … Continue reading →
And she loses it so bad that even the President tells her to STFU. Madame Speaker, demonstrating the rhetorical skills of a 14-year-old who thinks in absolutist terms no matter how absurd, stated that if the President is going to … Continue reading →
Well it looks as if NASA is going to be hoisted up on its own global warming petard. According to this article from the Orlando Sentinel, the upcoming budget proposal from the Obama administration will not contain funding for the … Continue reading →
A couple of years ago, Maoism was all but forgotten. Few people remember the details, and millions of Americans were born never really hearing the term. Suddenly, with revelations that members of the President’s inner circle espouse Maoist ideals and … Continue reading →
Well, this is not quite an obituary, but one of the human race’s best technical achievements—the Spirit rover on Mars—is pretty much stuck for good. Two of its wheels are completely jammed with rocks, sand, or dirt and after months … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s been doing some thinking about President Obama’s State of the Union (SOTU, for those pretentious, in the know policy geeks like ‘Puter) address tomorrow night. Here are some of his deeper thoughts and predictions, in no particular order: SOTU … Continue reading →
Southern operative FJR writes in with the following observation on “real” men. Greetings from one of your southern operatives. I loved the post on real men today but I must add Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs to your list of … Continue reading →
Where have all the men gone in this country – and the rest of the world for that matter? We see a concerted effort to drive out all signs of masculinity from society, whether in the form of the social … Continue reading →
The BBC will be broadcasting the world’s first film shot entirely by chimpanzees. Your Mandarin was under the impression that this was how the majority of television shows were created here in the United States. According to the article, primatologist … Continue reading →
So the bunch of us are all in the media room at the Castle, watching the 28-28 overtime tie between the Saints and Vikings when GorT excuses himself. He walks out of the room, pops back in and says “Saints … Continue reading →
A new Usāmah bin Lādin tape has appeared. The Czar has not listened to all of it yet (too many narcissistic instrumental tracks, and his new stuff just is not as catchy as his older cuts), but so far the … Continue reading →
The President is re-assembling the team of consultants who got him elected in 2008 to help out the gasping Democratic candidates in 2010. You might be concerned about this if you do not vote for Democrats. But there is no … Continue reading →
And so it came to pass that a few of us here at the Castle have a background in Latin. Not the Mandarin, though: he skipped that in favor of Spanish (pffft. Like who speaks that?). However, to be fair, … Continue reading →
So the Czar finds this in his news feeder:Um. Not the question the Czar expected CNN to ask him, but hokay… here goes. Err… your mother is probably concerned that bathing is drying her skin out. Try bathing every couple … Continue reading →
According to this article at Sky News, Holiday Inn will begin to offer a free five-minute “human bed warming service” at its London Kensington hotel throughout the week. Apparently, this service will consist of a “willing” member of the hotel … Continue reading →
The Washington Post is reporting that the liberal talk-radio network Air America is declaring bankruptcy and going off the air. Your Mandarin is in no way surprised by this story. Like the State of Michigan, and every city run by … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com
Continue reading →Supreme Court decisions obviously do not get any closer than 5-4. And now McCain-Feingold is thrown into the trashbin. Most people are dimly aware of McCain-Feingold (or more formally the Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act of 2002) as some sort of … Continue reading →
Hail Czar of Muscovy, Please pardon my brevity (though as the Czar’s favorite columnist has oft remarked, brevity is the soul of wit and essence of lingerie).* It occurs to your humble correspondent that the failure of the Democrats to … Continue reading →
So NRO has changed its color scheme to brown to celebrate the election of Scott Brown. Pshaw. Look around. We’ve been brown for years. Do we know how to call ‘em or what? The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, … Continue reading →
Here we go again. The Czar’s most inexplicable read, The New York Times, thinks it might have this Coakley loss figured out. See, Coakley did not campaign enough. And some of her public comments did not look smart. Things, you … Continue reading →
Holy cow, I can’t believe it, it looks like Chicago’s very own Mayor Richard M. Daley may have jumped off the Obama bandwagon. According to the article, Mayor Daley, while speaking at the opening of the U.S. Conference of Mayors … Continue reading →
Michael Graham of the Corner asks: It wasn’t Scott Brown, or Martha Coakley or even Dick Cheney’s Vote-Stealing-And-Weather-Control Machine. It was you. You won this election. The Mandarin asks: And just where did Dick Cheney get a weather control machine? … Continue reading →
Running for office? A GOP candidate? Read this carefully—it is from Senator Brown’s victory speech. When I first started running, I asked for a lot of help, because I knew it was going to be me against the machine. I … Continue reading →
Pffft. Already we have our first Coakley should have won; she’s just so much nicer love-letter from WaPo. Did you know she delivers witty poems? Funny roasts? Broadway musicals? Skiing? Gush! Did you also know that she perfectly represents what … Continue reading →
You already know the good news. Why are you not surprised? No, you are of course delighted to know the Senate is now 58.5-41, and that the critical filibuster is ready to begin. You also know that a wave of … Continue reading →
You guys amaze me with the amount of knowledge you have about so many subjects, many of them incredibly complex. Hope you will keep up the website for a very long time!! Yeah, we are cool. On any given day, … Continue reading →
Sheesh. The Czar is getting tired of talking about Brown v Coakley. So he will stop. Therefore, America, what do you think of Brown v Coakley? JAB throws this ‘un down: Your Czarness: Down here in the Southern part of … Continue reading →
One CNN editorial says that a Brown victory is not a sign that Obama is in trouble. A second CNN editorial provides some pretty good argumentation to the contrary. Read both, if you have time. If not, read the latter … Continue reading →
Dick Durbin (D-IL) puts what the Czar hopes is his career on the line. Durbin announced today that if Brown wins the Massachusetts special election, the Democrats are prepared to use the nuclear option. We trust this is not a … Continue reading →
WorldNetDaily.com is reporting that if the federal budget is not cut now, the national debt within about two generations will be 600 percent of the gross domestic product. The article goes on to state, “With the recession and the huge … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin is pleased to share with you this communiqué from our operative in the Mid-South, JM in response to the Igor, To The Lab post: Amen, I say to you. Unless we’re cultivating a society of sheep (and I … Continue reading →
According to this article in the East Bay Express: Berkeley High School is considering a controversial proposal to eliminate science labs and the five science teachers who teach them to free up more resources to help struggling students. The reason … Continue reading →
First we had the maladjusted little darlings who wanted to kill themselves after seeing the movie Avatar, now we get this story. Yes that’s right, these people are naming their children after characters from the movie. This has you Mandarin … Continue reading →
For a white guy who was born (not long) after Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated, ‘Puter always understood intellectually the importance of Dr. King in our civil rights movement. But until ‘Puter took the opportunity to actually read some … Continue reading →
The Christian Science Monitor has slightly interesting piece on the Democrats’s potential backup plans should Brown beat Coakley in this wildly entertaining but too-close-to-call Senatorial special election. The Czar agrees with the author, Peter Grier, that these are basically the … Continue reading →
As noted philosopher Ted “Theodore” Logan once noted, “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.” His sagacious observation is equally applicable to Massachusetts’ special Senate election, to be held on the morrow. Republican Scott Brown (noted Cosmo pinup boy) … Continue reading →
And when the politics of hope and change fail, a little cheating is in order. At least that is what MSNBC television and syndicated radio host Ed Schultz believes is necessary to, “…keep these bastards out.” Of course he is … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin would like to share with you this little letter from the NRA-ILA Grassroots Alert Vol. 17, No. 2 10/15/10: Sleep Easy, America – Feds’ Terrorist Watchlist Nabs Cub Scout Friday, January 15, 2010 As we’ve reported before, Sen. … Continue reading →
My sources have not been able to confirm that. They have been able to confirm the following: Jack Sprat could eat no fat,His wife could eat no lean, And so betwixt the two of themThey licked the platter clean We … Continue reading →
FOR SALE: One extremely lazy, clumsy Vietnamese houseboy, who is a hard worker but inattentive in his chores who does not listen when the Czar tells him to be careful around the Waterford crystal, and thinks he knows better. And … Continue reading →
Mandarin, Can any of your sources confirm if there was any issue with victims, two by four, not being able to get through a bathroom door? The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin had to laugh out loud today after reading this article from the Telegraph.co.uk detailing the collapse of the floor at a Weight Watchers clinic. According to the article, “As the dieters queued to see how many pounds they … Continue reading →
Seneca said that. “Fire tests gold; misfortune, the strength of man.” In other words, you learn the most about a leader by seeing what he does when things are going wrong. So how is our phone-it-in talk-show rock-star President doing? … Continue reading →
Sometimes the reader might be inclined to forget that the Gormogons are behind most weird world events—some of them make sense only to us. Yes, it is all an ingenious conspiracy theory. What you may not realize is our craft … Continue reading →
The FBI, very much at great expense, produced a digitally enhanced image for the US State Department to show that Osama bin Lādin might potentially look just like kindly Mr. Habib, who owns the on-time and clean limousine service next … Continue reading →
Golly. Even in cautious polls, candidate Scott Brown has pulled ahead of Martha Coakley. Some say he has a 4% lead; others put him closer to 17%. The President, originally content to support Coakley with a phoned-in video bit—which is … Continue reading →
Wow. Google Finally Translates ‘Don’t Be Evil’ into Mandarin Some of the best free advertising we ever got! The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes … Continue reading →
Kathryn Jean Lopez over at The Corner asks, “How Much Coverage Is Too Much Coverage?” regarding news reporting of the Haitian earthquake. She quotes the following passage from America magazine’s blog about CNN coverage in Haiti: The most troubling video … Continue reading →
A lot of hay is being made that should Scott Brown win the election and become Massachusetts’ new senator, he will need to wait 10 days before being sworn in and elegible therefore to vote against the health care bill. … Continue reading →
Well if it isn’t bad enough that your Mandarin has to pay city, county, state and federal taxes – whether in the form of sales taxes, property taxes, or income taxes – now Fox News is reporting the following: The … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin finds it just a bit ironic that the Obama administration and the Unions have cut a deal that will exempt the unions from a 40% tax on “Cadillac” health plans. Having come from a family of labor union … Continue reading →
Well if you didn’t think that the cult of global warming believers wasn’t a new religious movement, then let this clip of the actor Danny Glover prove the point. First we had the crackpot Pat Robertson come out and say … Continue reading →
JG channels the Czar here (inspired, perhaps? Whatever. The Czar fantasizes.) but does it much better with his analysis of the Brown v Coakley campaign. In fact, some of Friend Jonah’s allusions are spot on. Our favorite: Coakley is a … Continue reading →
Here is what happened, as near as one can figure. You have the Mandarin, who has been working on something called a polychromatic texture enforcement weapon, and who has been itching to try it out. Then you have the ‘Puter, … Continue reading →
Rep. Bill Delahunt (D-MA) is shocked, like so many Democrats, that the Coakley v Brown Senate race is now officially a dead heat, and with strong signs that Brown can win (especially given the rate at which he has been … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin is pleased to share this correspondence regarding the Doomsday Clock post: I fell out of my seat when I saw the link on Drudge Report regarding the Doomsday Clock. I really think it deserves more commentary. After waxing … Continue reading →
Vlad “The Impaler” Putin issued his sternest warning yet to the US: observe poultry importation safety rules or suffer dire consequences. This can only interpreted as a direct challenge to President Obama, who has historically flaunted a complete disregard for … Continue reading →
The following exchange took place in the family room less than 30 minutes ago. Цесаревич (reading from a book): If your pet is lost, you should make a sign from brightly colored paper… Царица: That’s dumb! A dog can’t see … Continue reading →
MC, who has been absurdly silent lately, writes in: OK, I just had to work this out when I saw that GorT lost six yottabytes of data. The earth’s surface is about 510 million square kilometers (510 x 1012 square … Continue reading →
In an effort to provide important public service information to our loyal readers, your humble Mandarin would like to report that the Doomsday Clock will be moved tomorrow by the world’s top scientists. The clock is very large and will … Continue reading →
The Czar has decided to watch the Ninth Season of American Idol, fearing that the show is likely to come off the rails any second. So far, they have kept to the old format, but we understand major changes are … Continue reading →
The Czar can not even remember a time that the New York Times published something that did not make him blink twice and ask, pointedly, “Whaaaaaaaat?” Op-ed contributor Paul Krugman serves the Czar up a tasty treat with his “What’s … Continue reading →
Tonight was a long-awaited debate between the two Massachusetts candidates for Senator. This special election, to be held January 19th, promises to be spectacular as the late Ted Kennedy’s legendary seat is extremely close to flipping to a Republican—and ironically … Continue reading →
Having seen many a movie over my lifetime, your Mandarin can readily admit that there were quite a few that elicited an emotional response. I’m sure that it is every director’s dream to create a movie that audiences can connect … Continue reading →
The Czar, and evidently most of the staff of the Weekly Standard, recommends you wait for this model. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes … Continue reading →
Well it looks like under-socialized nerds living in their mom’s basement now have another reason to not leave home. For years science fiction writers have dreamed of robotic companions that would service our every need. Well according to the makers … Continue reading →
By now, the Gormogons’ well-informed readership will have read Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid’s (D-NV) comments regarding his handicap of the 2008 presidential election. For those who have joined us late, Sen. Reid stated now-President Obama had a good chance … Continue reading →
CNSNews.com is reporting that the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops will push to get immigration reform legislation enacted in 2010. Wow, your Mandarin’s first thought is where are the separation of church and state groups, and where is their outrage … Continue reading →
USA Today points out that as much as President Obama wants to avoid discussions of race during his presidency, events are forcing him to do just that. Pfft. First, every presidency can be defined as a continuous string of unwanted … Continue reading →
Sometimes the Czar leaves the Castle and returns home to Muscovy, which is actually a short palanquin ride away. As we welcomed dearest Царица, the boys, and little Sally (who is over her bout of colitis, having eating two pounds … Continue reading →
Frank Rich, in a New York Times opinion piece (is the NYT even bothering to get the news right at all anymore?) raises an interesting notion: that nearly every American can argue about security, terrorism, underwear bombers, and whatnot, but … Continue reading →
Following up to our post yesterday about Senator Reid taking over a year to apologize for bone-headed, wildly out-dated racial comment about the President is news that Bill Clinton allegedly made a racist comment about our current president to Senator … Continue reading →
Yeeps! The Weekly Standard is reporting that a recent and credible poll has Republican Scott Brown taking a one point edge over Democrat Martha Coakley in the Massachusetts (in actuality, a statistical tie). Brown has closed the gap between No … Continue reading →
Well, this is something the Czar wondered about, but never had the energy or brainpower to research. Are you getting tired of seeing charts on how astonishingly much the average American spends on healthcare, and how little we receive treatment? … Continue reading →
It starts out nice. Scientists investigated whether or not dogs suffer from OCD in large numbers, and it turns out they do. In fact, larger breeds suffer from OCD (or CCD, id est canine compulsive disorder) at much higher rates, … Continue reading →
Harry Reid finally steps up and apologizes to the President for racial remarks he made during the 2008 campaign. At that time, he remarked that Barack Obama was “light-skinned” with “no Negro dialect.” Ironically, that describes Reid just as well. … Continue reading →
Finally, a massive breakthrough has been achieved on President Obama’s Rediscovered War on Terror: police finally nail the guy who walked past Newark airport non-security. Really? 28-year-old Haisong Jiang (sigh…okay, Volgi… Haisung Chiang) of (you guessed it) Piscataway, New Jersey, … Continue reading →
The Lord and Master of Space for Commerce knows how to write a freaking letter: Sir, Regarding yours of January 8th and drones killing Black Hats and etc. His Grace is of course aware of the line of thought so … Continue reading →
An editorial in The Wall Street Journal lauds President Obama’s use of drones in fighting the war on terror because “Weapons like the Predator kill far fewer civilians.” Provisionally true, but they do not win the war. Readers should be … Continue reading →
Mrs. Biden (our Vice President’s mother) has died. May God bless the entire Biden family in its time of grief. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although … Continue reading →
The Gormogons extend their sympathies to Vice President Biden and his family upon the death of his mother. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes … Continue reading →
The Czar detests stereotypes. But this is certain to make people uncomfortable. A New York cab driver turns out to be an Islamic terrorist? Ouch. That isn’t going to help. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ … Continue reading →
