Mrs. Biden (our Vice President’s mother) has died. May God bless the entire Biden family in its time of grief. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although … Continue reading →
The Gormogons extend their sympathies to Vice President Biden and his family upon the death of his mother. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes … Continue reading →
The Czar detests stereotypes. But this is certain to make people uncomfortable. A New York cab driver turns out to be an Islamic terrorist? Ouch. That isn’t going to help. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ … Continue reading →
Dec 25. Nutjob walks right through Amsterdam security, boards plane, burns himself trying to kill almost 300 people on board. Dec 26. Head of the National Counter-Terrorism Center goes on ski trip. Dec 27. DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano gleefully reports … Continue reading →
JAB: Regarding the Chicago PD scrapping the entrance exam, surely Your Czarness understands that they are very sincere in their quest for diversity. In this case, we must presume that Chicago wishes to embrace those of diverse intellegences. You know, … Continue reading →
A news story is making the rounds that the star T Pyxidis may well one day go supernova. Cool, the story agrees, but its distance is much, much closer to us than we realized, and frankly, things would get really … Continue reading →
The Czar scans some headlines. Report of NCTC Chief’s Ski Trip Disputed. So Obama’s director of the National Counter-Terrorism Center learns of the Eunuch-bomber attack (thanks, JAB!) and proceeds immediately to leave on a ski trip. Any idea how much … Continue reading →
Brilliant and wealthy paranoid schizophrenic Walter Sartory was abducted, drugged, and set on fire. Probably can line out paranoid. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the … Continue reading →
Mr. Orszag, President Obama’s hand-picked (presumably for his competence and focus) OMB Director is a newly acknowledged triple threat. Mr. Orszag divorced his first wife after siring two children several years ago. He is recently engaged to a new woman. … Continue reading →
—from the great Charles Addams. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all … Continue reading →
JAB takes the time to send us another letter. Your Czarness: Poured myself an adult beverage yesterday evening and, like your Czarness, watched Obama deliver a mighty stern talkin’ to…to…to nobody in particular. He sounded to me like some Regional … Continue reading →
Far be it from the Czar to take the side of a union. But when something is this stupid, even we find ourselves in agreement. The problem? Chicago “diversity watchdogs” believe there are not enough minorities represented in the Chicago … Continue reading →
The President is pretty mad about the Knickerbomber and his kabloomers. In typical Barack Obama fashion he said he will not tolerate finger-pointing, but hypocritically added “our intelligence community failed to connect those dots.” So evidently, what follows is the … Continue reading →
In a New York Times OpEd today, David Brooks writes about the rise of the Tea Party movement and America’s supposed growing disillusionment with the “educated class”. We need to stop right here and work through a definition of “educated … Continue reading →
Well, the Czar hates to send you twice in one day to the Los Angeles Times, but here is another example of a liberal whose world view is so stupidly polarized that he misses the point he himself is making. … Continue reading →
As your Mandarin has been listening to the various commentaries and news stories regarding the underwear bomber – which kind of brings new meaning to the phrase panty raid – I have come to the following realization: An Islamo-facist terrorist … Continue reading →
The Los Angeles Times has a story today covering how bad the Democrats look going into the mid-term elections. Odd, the Czar thought, because the Mainstream Media has been pretty hushed up about this fact. As he read the story, … Continue reading →
‘Puter absently wonders why, in the case of the criminal trials of the Guantanamo detainees, the federal prosecutors haven’t charged the defendants with hate crimes as well. What better way to show the theatre de l’absurde that the Obama administration’s … Continue reading →
In a poorly worded (‘Puter charitably assumes) editorial today, the NYT states that Uganda should be internationally shunned should it pass proposed legislation imposing the death sentence for homosexual behavior. Apparently, mere lifetime imprisonment for homosexual behavior would be OK … Continue reading →
Bret Stephens in today’s WSJ puts his finger on an issue that’s been bothering ‘Puter for some time now. Namely, how does a society that refuses to identify and destroy evil continue to exist? The short answer is that it … Continue reading →
And so the world’s tallest building has opened in Dubai. Named the Burj Dubai Khalifa—which the Volgi will insist be spelled برج خليفة—the building so tall that you could take the top two buildings in Chicago (the Sears Willis Tower … Continue reading →
Deputy Press Secretary Bill Burton says, “When you’re President of the United States, you’ve got to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time.” To the Czar’s knowledge, this is the first public admission by the Obama … Continue reading →
The Czar is beginning to wonder what the Obama administration lacks more: basic financial competence or an interest in the American taxpayer. Each news story makes it harder to choose which evil is the greater one. Here is yet another … Continue reading →
SC writes back, with everything you could want to know about ADHD. Is this impressive, or what? Thank you for your kind words on your blog! Just wanted to offer some more detailed thoughts on the issue, since you asked… … Continue reading →
Mrs. MC, the esteemed SC PhD, writes in to say: I’m writing to let you know of something much more important: The ongoing victimization of UK criminals who failed to have their ADHD diagnosed before they were thrown in the … Continue reading →
So, Dat Ho finds this sketch in the newspaper today. Apparently you are supposed to draw it to see how you might fare in art school. Dat asks us if we would be interested in trying. Here’s the Draw Me … Continue reading →
Remember Kurt Westergaard? He’s the Danish cartoonist who drew a basically unfunny caricature of Muḥammad back in 2006 that inflamed the Muslim world. Worse caricatures have been directed at every other religion, but Muslims tend to be pretty severe about … Continue reading →
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is Bob Costas of NBC Sports, and we are delighted to have today, following our Winter Classic where the Bruins of Boston just defeated the Flyers of Philadelphia, 2 to 1, in overtime, a special interview … Continue reading →
Stephen Flynn of the Washington Post writes a pseudo-authoritative opinion piece entitled 5 Myths About Keeping America Safe From Terrorism. No, the Czar will not go into the details of his argument, as you can simply read the supplied link. … Continue reading →
The Czar, on behalf of the billions of Gormogon members worldwide—and in particular Confucius (your Œcumenical Volgi), Ghettoputer, the Mandarin, and GorTechie—shall wish for you a very happy new year…even if for you, personally, 2009 was an awesome year, we … Continue reading →
Borepatch writes in to say that an earlier prediction by the Czar may be coming true, provided on what happens in Iran. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was … Continue reading →
Wow. Where does the Czar start? Well, the President is apparently ticked over the Amsterdam-Detroit terrorism plot because (a) it actually was terrorism—not a man-caused disasters—on his freaking watch, (b) because it might have been prevented had he appointed a … Continue reading →
British Charity Worker Wins ‘Best Job in the World’ ‘Best Job in the World’ Winner Stung by Deadly Jellyfish What really sucks is that it technically happened on the job, for those who believe in kárma. The Czar of MuscovyБожію … Continue reading →
…the Gormogons gave to me: Five Gor-Mo-Gons!four bags of mailthree Guest Spotstwo Boxing Daysand a Hello Kitty in an orange tree Ok, like you expected something else for this day? Yep. All five of us are enjoying the holiday season … Continue reading →
The Czar is traveling to the East today, to where the mystical pagodas bask in the eldritch sunlight of antient exoticism. He will return from Mishawaka late this evening, so in his absence, please enjoy his post from February 16, … Continue reading →
Jane Zhang of the Wall Street Journal has a piece on
Continue reading →And so a UAW and AFSCME spinoff union has decided that it can simply shanghai workers into becoming members? Basically, 34,000 private day care workers suddenly found their paychecks substantially lighter—and discovered they were now hefty due-paying members of the … Continue reading →
The new, youthful face of the country is determined to change the world, especially after defeating a long-standing political powerhouse. Yes, the country is hobbled by a bad economy, triggered by unsustainable real estate investments, and faces the worst unemployment … Continue reading →
There can be no denying it now. A Nigerian man on an Amsterdam-to-Detroit flight attempted to destroy the plane as it approached Detroit. The man attempted to use what the Czar believes to be water injected by an irrigation syringe … Continue reading →
From all of us at the Castle to you, have a very happy and rewarding Christmas. Yes, this file photo from 1985 shows why we no longer have parties at the Castle open to the public. The Czar of MuscovyБожію … Continue reading →
As we sat in our pyjamas around the tree, the stump still oozing blood, in the Castle’s Great Room, we happy Gormogons took stock of what we received from each other. ‘Puter received a very lovely chainsaw (from the Czar), … Continue reading →
And how significant was it? No matter East or West, reading what really happened to President Obama can only be described as a middle finger to him, personally. Read the link there, if you have any doubts about how much … Continue reading →
So in the late 1960s, we had the Johnsonian Era. Followed by Nixonian. Logically, Fordian and Carterian would follow, but there seems to be little usage of that. This was followed by Reaganite. Then, we had the plain Bush Era, … Continue reading →
JAB writes back. I wanted to say thanks for the thoughtfulness and good humor, both are rare enough on their own let alone in combination. And your site has none of those annoying, seizure-inducing flashing adverts! You are quite welcome; … Continue reading →
Congratulations to President Obama on his spectacular victory for healthcare. As you recall, the President had a clear goal for healthcare reform with only these six key features: —It would not add to the deficit and will be completely paid … Continue reading →
Hail Czar of Muscovy,I trust all is well in Castle Gormogon on this longest night in the Northern Hemisphere. A wise man, for most people say it is the longest day of the year. It is not: the day remains … Continue reading →
Lefties are besides themselves trying to figure out whom to blame for the total failure of Copenhagen. Even the mainstream press is concluding Nothing Got Done. Some say it was China’s fault. Fools. China never seriously meant to participate at … Continue reading →
Whatever your view of the healthcare bill, what follows is just asinine. And yes: the Czar is aware that this is how Republicans and convervatives alike are treated by the MSM, and that now the Left can enjoy a taste … Continue reading →
The Czar thought there might be more to this ESPN headline: Childress wanted Favre to come out But there wasn’t. Also, here’s a weird pair that came very close on our news feed: US Officer ‘draws gun’ on snowball fight … Continue reading →
So what does a climatologist say about the Hadley CRU incident? As the Gormogons have been saying for a while, it’s “just the tip of the iceberg.” But read for yourself: Dr. Patrick J. Michaels is a climatologist of considerable … Continue reading →
[David Axelrod] criticized Republican senators on Sunday for trying to halt final action [on the healthcare bill], saying the American people deserve a vote. Good idea. That way it could be defeated by a 3:1 margin. This sort of comment … Continue reading →
Unexpurgated. Your Czarness: It pains your humble correspondent, but I really must beg to disagree with your summary of that fancy-pants Copenhagen meetin’ as a “complete flop.” Perhaps your Czarness is merely out of sorts? Dare I suggest, that as … Continue reading →
But a powerful agreement was reached, no? Depends on whom you ask. BBC News reports that a meaningful agreement has been reached at Copenhagen! Read on, because only the US, China, India, and South Africa made the agreement, and the … Continue reading →
The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →
Well, the POTUS is down in nearly every poll. But so what, counter his supporters, Reagan had a godawful first year in terms of popularity. Yes, that is quite true. But as bad as Obama? Well, let us look at … Continue reading →
The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →
The Czar is reminded of the time a hippie challenged the Mandarin to three rounds of full-contact, no gloves boxing. Within seconds, the hippie was clinging to the ropes, and the Mandarin just kept landing punch after punch after punch. … Continue reading →
Well, the Presidential approval numbers are Carteresque in their ability to disgust.Or are they? By running the Phil Jones model on the polling numbers, we discovered an easy trick to hide the decline: That’s much better! Look at the hockey … Continue reading →
The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →
Do you get the feeling that Copenhagen is one of the most exciting political events of our time, and one that will change the world? Or are you missing all the news about what a total disaster of a “charlie … Continue reading →
A quick look into a world run by liberals: The police tried to disperse the chanting, drum-beating protesters who had marched from a train station about a mile away to try to make their way to the Bella Center, where … Continue reading →
The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →
Couple items of note. First, the great purveyor of worthless, dashed-off tripe (Hey, it was on his résumé), Joe Tetreault writes a positively glowing—and suspiciously inside-joke ridden—letter to us. Hail Czar of Muscovy,Thank you for the kindly mention of my … Continue reading →
Joe Tetreault at the conveniently named TetreaultVision writes this about your Czar: Meanwhile, the Czar of Muscovy, writing from his throne at Castle Gormogon, cautions “[t]his information is far from being the stake in the heart that the Cap and … Continue reading →
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Some folks on the Right are in arms over a story involving a Milwaukee school teacher who cut a braid off a first grader. Lamya Cammon, who is a very cute sweetie pie of a girl, has … Continue reading →
Gormogon contributor Joe over at tetreaultvision.com gently reminds/begs ‘Puter to post on this naughtiness. How humiliating. Not the “caught in a prostitution sting in godforsaken Rhode Island” part. The “I’m a grown man paid to dress up in a giant … Continue reading →
According to this article from AP News, Australian scientists have discovered an octopus in Indonesia that collects coconut shells for shelter. And in other breaking news, scientists have also discovered a sponge that lives in a pineapple under the sea. … Continue reading →
The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →
al-Qâ’ida is accusing President Obama of trying to enslave the Arab world. What tools. Like that’s the limit to his ambition? The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin may be a convert to the cult of climate change because he has proof that Hell has frozen over. How else could you explain the fact that Al Gore admitted that he exaggerated the total meltdown of the … Continue reading →
Well, now it’s come down to it, hasn’t it? Over the weekend while the Senate worked on healthcare, they apparently took a few minutes to talk about climate change. Senator Inhofe, unsurprisingly, said encouragingly that any promises President Obama makes … Continue reading →
As we come to the close of the year, your Mandarin has a special treat for all of our loyal visitors – The Mandarin’s 2009 Boot in the Gut award (referred to affectionately here at the castle as the “Bootie”). … Continue reading →
When asked by Oprah what grade he would give himself for his first year in office, President Obama responded, “I give myself a solid B+.” Well, well, I’m surprised an advocate of the progressive educational system would give himself a … Continue reading →
Last night on the CBS show 60 Minutes President Obama made the following statement regarding the war in Afghanistan: “One of the mistakes that was made over the last eight years is for us to have a triumphant sense about … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative and Head of Security – Southeastern Quadrant writes to your beloved and most humble Mandarin the following missive. Dear Mr. Mandarin: As always, the teeming masses owe a debt of gratitude to the eminences who reside in Castle … Continue reading →
So internationally the liberals are sporting a pretty big black eye. And now, domestic liberals are seeing their vaunted healthcare bill crumbling as well. Even in the Obama camp, there is open disagreement as to whether the economy is returning … Continue reading →
Because you folks in Copenhagen do not get it, let the Czar explain. 1. When you openly embrace multiculturalism, you accept the fact that everyone’s viewpoints are equally valid. So don’t be surprised when your climate change conference talks stall … Continue reading →
The Czar sighs and wonders, amid all that deafening applause, how many of the Hollywooders thought that was Tina Fey on stage with William Shatner. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. … Continue reading →
Supposing. Just supposing. Let us say you become chairman of a trading company. You naturally are able to purchase your shares at a fairly low price, and as chairman, you have the lion’s share of them. Naturally, since you want … Continue reading →
The Marine Corps hymn states that they will fight our country’s battles in the air and land and sea. Well it looks like our Democratic Party overlords now consider that said air and land and sea and our use of … Continue reading →
Hello, children! As you know from reading here, President Obama wants the United States to return to promoting science and technology to the nation’s youth. Ideally, if influential people could describe how and why science, technology, engineering, and mathematics has … Continue reading →
It is with a heavy heart that I wish to extend my apologies to our Gormogon operatives in Australia for the imminent iceberg collision with your fine continent. This unfortunate situation is the result of Sleestak and Dat Ho playing … Continue reading →
In the Wall Street Journal, John Fund has an excellent assessment of the precarious position Senator Harry Reid—more specifically, his mouth—has placed his own party in. It is quite brief, so check that out. Either Sen. Reid is so astonishingly … Continue reading →
Funny thing about science. Sometimes experiments go awry. Even for the Mandarin, who despite his mastery of orbital mechanics, can suffer a hardware problem—especially when he buys his liquid titanium solenoids from Big Lots. So apologies to the people of … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com
Continue reading →“More Women Fingered as Tiger Mistresses” Thanks, FoxNews! 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, … Continue reading →
Astronomers last May were thrilled to have discovered a planet around a distant star using a theoretical technique called astrometry, which measures the side-to-side wobble of a star to determine what is orbiting around it. After 50 years of trying, … Continue reading →
Ok, we can admit it now. Cattle mutilations? That was Ghettoputer. He had his (typically incoherent) reasons. Something about lactose intolerance or not liking ice cream or the fact they all thought they were better ’n him. Whatever. Anyway, apparently … Continue reading →
If you’re about done shoplifting from our gift store, head on down the road to Borepatch’s place and check out his gift shop. He’s become an internet sensation for his Clippy ClimateGate routine. The Czar is sensitive to this, because … Continue reading →
The Czar was strolling through the Castle’s second floor cafeteria a few minutes ago when he bumped into the Mandarin. “I just posted a great email I got,” he said. “Bullshit,” we said, and then boggled. The Mandarin replied to … Continue reading →
Having realized that this was not another jury summons or an offer to enlarge ‘Puter’s penis, I eagerly opened this email from Operative BD over at Space for Commerce who writes in: Mara Liasson: “So what if the data was … Continue reading →
ABC news is reporting on how the Transportation Security Agency (TSA) posted its airport screening procedures manual online. The manual contains closely guarded secrets that detail the special rules for diplomats, CIA employees, and law enforcement officers. I know that … Continue reading →
The Czar absolutely loves pictures like this: Almost every splash of light or color in this picture is a galaxy. Let us walk through what happened. The Hubble Space Telescope was pointed toward a black nothing in space. A spot … Continue reading →
Seen at the Grey Cup finals between the Saskatchewan Roughriders and the Montreal Alouettes. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter … Continue reading →
Harry Freaking Reid. Absolutely ensuring he will not be re-elected, Reid announced that the GOP would have supported the continuation of slavery, had they been around then. Well, in fact, the GOP was around in the 1860s. And no, they … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin was watching Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace yesterday when the subject of the Hadley CRU e-mail leak was discussed. Regarding the leak and the potential damaging effect that these e-mails might have on the global warming debate, … Continue reading →
President Obama successfully lighted the nation’s official Christmas tree yesterday, requesting that the even be recorded as a successful accomplishment by his administration. The tree contains thousands of LED lights, and will shine in majesty between now and January 1st…adding … Continue reading →
Mail, mail, mail, mail. Our sole Canadian reader, MH, wrote in again. Normally one would not bother with follow up emails, but MH went so far off the deep end that even the Mandarin shrugged when asked what sort of … Continue reading →
From our very first website. We used to have a little PDF about us you can download. Thought we lost every copy, but GorT was able to find one and upload through his XDMI port. How the years do pass. … Continue reading →
