“Everyone who wants to do good to the human race always ends in universal bullying.” – Aldous Huxley “And so it goes,” ‘Puter thought, as he watched the Parkland Kids host a rock concert masquerading as a gun control rally … Continue reading →
GorT has been watching excerpts of the “March for Our Lives” coverage via the local news and online sources and is concerned about the future. First, let’s get this out of the way – who here wants schools, churches, movie … Continue reading →
In an effort to make this site vaguely useful for some of you, the Czar is offering some reviews of 2018 cars. The Czar knows lots about cars, but not a lot about the new models, but don’t let that … Continue reading →
GorT and Coder (@coderincrisis on Twitter) chat about technology and programming GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits … Continue reading →
The Czar was shocked to discover that our antient, mortal enemies the Freemasons apparently have employed dogs to do their mysterious work. Specifically, the Masonic Association of Service and Therapy Dogs (MAST), which looks exactly like the kind of worthwhile … Continue reading →
‘Puter and one of our favorite minions, Mo, chat GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this … Continue reading →
Today as our precious post-Millennial snowflakes, spawn of the worst generation ever*, walk out of class to protest their constitutional rights, ‘Puter’d like to take a moment to reflect. Oh, ‘Puter’s not going to reflect on the kids’ masturbatory fantasies … Continue reading →
The Gormogons kick off season 2 of Radio Gormogon GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this … Continue reading →
Your Gormogons are, to a man,* all Roman Catholic and pretty astonishingly versed in our faith. If you’re not a Roman Catholic, or a Gormogon, you might not find this post particularly appealing, but the Czar happens to know that … Continue reading →
And by that title, I mean I’m doubling on how down I am on the Oscars…and Hollywood in general. Look, it’s easy for mainstream America to bash on Hollywood – some regarding the prominent political leanings, some over their demonstrated … Continue reading →
‘Puter was attending Mass yesterday when … STOP LAUGHING! ‘Puter goes to Mass every week and on all Holy Days of Obligation! He used to do First Fridays, too, but that’s another whole story. As ‘Puter was saying before … Continue reading →
GorT “watched” the Oscars last night. By that, I mean I had it on in the background and occasionally looked up to see what was going on with the show while doing some work on my laptop. Summary The … Continue reading →
Sometimes it’s nice to sit and ponder things on a quiet, snowy Upstate morning. Today is not one of those days. ‘Puter knew it was going to snow, and snow a lot overnight. ‘Puter determined to get up early, exercise, … Continue reading →
GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. … Continue reading →
For our new Meet a Minion series, ‘Puter recorded a podcast episode featuring Meaux (of @molratty fame) last night, and it probably didn’t suck. It will definitely suck less once GorT gets time to edit it. Anyhoo, one of the questions ‘Puter … Continue reading →
China has long had a funny reputation in America. To some of us, it’s a Communist Thugocracy, playing a coy game of psychology to convince idiots that it’s really an efficient, socialist modern country with ordinary people enjoying a marriage … Continue reading →
The Czar and family have returned from Marvel’s latest thousand-dollar-or-more-grossing movie Black Panther, which stars Jackie Robinson, Adonis Creed, and that frog from Star Wars. If you are reading this by way of the Internet, you are already connected enough … Continue reading →
Once more, we are saddened to hear about the events in Florida. As social media again resorts to its default position of screaming in rage about everything, the Czar realizes there are a couple of questions not really being addressed … Continue reading →
Another day, another school massacre. This one happened in Florida, though it could have been any school, anywhere. Before yesterday’s corpses assumed room temperature, Super-Smart Media Elites with Pleasing Baritones began rounding up the usual strawman suspects. Brows properly furrowed, … Continue reading →
Here it is, pulled from the trembling hand of my most obsequious Okhrana agent. It’s the memo you’ve all been waiting for! TO: ▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰ ▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰ FROM:▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰ ▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰ DATE:▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰ 23, 2▰1;▰▰ RE: D▰n▰▰▰ T▰▰▰▰ campaign ▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰ ▰ ▰▰▰ ▰▰▰▰ ▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰ ▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰ … Continue reading →
The Czar was perusing the latest quarterly issue of the alumni magazine from his alma mater, which—being a Jesuit institution—is a crap-shoot whether or not it will cause us to slap our forehead. This month, however, it contained an article … Continue reading →
The Czar understands the Grammys are nothing more than a show of money and power; music is merely the means by which the power manipulates the money. He has steadfastly avoided them since 1988, but did catch a portion of … Continue reading →
To borrow from the greatest philosopher of our age, “‘Puter may not be a smart man, but he knows what dysfunction is.”* ‘Puter’s family thinks he’s losing his marbles since he’s been yelling at the television and radio for weeks. … Continue reading →
Immigration. Say the word and normal, sane people lose their minds. On one side, we have people screaming “THEY TOOK R JERBZ!!!” and “BILD TEH WAL!!” On the other side, we see people ranting without open borders, America’s the moral … Continue reading →
GorT and Mrs. GorT had a date night and grabbed dinner and saw “The Greatest Showman” yesterday. Put simply, it was really darn good. While this may be the last time we see a movie in a shopping mall’s movie … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, It’s been a while since Dr. J.’s posted, but the latest edition of ‘Teh Trumpzesz Must Rezign!!!!!!!!!@11!!!Eleventy!!@onE!!!!!!!’ pushes the narrative that Trump is too sick for office, unlike those strapping and robust Presidents Harding, Wilson, Roosevelt, Eisenhower and … Continue reading →
GorT and Mrs. GorT returned 2of3 to unnamed higher education institution about 4 hours north of us over this past weekend. During the drive, the three of us began talking about music. Our children have a wide appreciation of music … Continue reading →
Be your own bartender! It’s not hard, especially if you have several-hundred-thousand dollars to spend. But you get get by with a lot less, of course, and it helps if you actually know how to make drinks. So the Czar … Continue reading →
Your Czar is concerned with your health, and naturally has asked his Czarist Imperial Surgeon’s Office to prepare a bullet point list on how you can best protect yourself against the Killer Influenza virus, which is known as the Zika, … Continue reading →
‘Puter hasn’t written much lately. He’s had a lot going on. Regular readers know ‘Puter’s Dad has advanced dementia and has been declining rapidly. ‘Puter’s Mom put him in a memory care facility (nursing home) last Wednesday. While in the … Continue reading →
In this issue we’ll discuss two topics starting to make some rumblings in the business world. Prediction: Amazon Will Buy Target in 2018 GorT is fully in on a prediction by Loup Ventures’ Gene Munster. In a report from Loup … Continue reading →
Greetings, mere mortals. Today, the Czar was nice enough to take the Царица to claim her Christmas present—or at least, part of it. When asked what she might want for Christmas, she did not hesitate to suggest a trip to the … Continue reading →
A couple of letters have crossed the Czar’s desk recently. The first one is from the Retired Spook, who used to haunt our Castle more than he has been. Anyway, for those of you with last-minute gift-giving needs and—we should … Continue reading →
GorT read (and re-read) Czar’s post from earlier today. It hit home. It rang true. GorT knows the same types on both sides of the aisle. GorT is frequently one of those bemoaning what passes for political leadership in today’s … Continue reading →
The Czar has noticed, of late, that whenever Republicans gather around him, the tone seems to be one of intense irritation. “They’re no different than the Democrats,” is perhaps the simplest summation of the complaints. Republicans could have ended Obamacare … Continue reading →
A few days ago, amidst the revelation that Mario Batali was one of the latest in a long and growing list of public figures embroiled in sexual misconduct and abuse issues, I posited the following on Twitter regarding the revelation: … Continue reading →
Long-time readers have two attributes relevant to today’s topic: first, they know the Czar is actually a big fan of the metric system, and second, there is something certainly wrong with them. Who the hell reads this site for as … Continue reading →
The House today passed a bill to allow interstate reciprocity of concealed carry. As you expect, social media is having a freak out over this, since of course a peaceful gun owner carrying his legal weapon into another peaceful state … Continue reading →
Today, or more specifically this morning, a crate arrived in our name at the Castle. Always fearing outlandish and ridiculous assassination attempts, the Czar had Dat Ho open it, just in case it exploded and killed someone. It neither exploded … Continue reading →
Every day, every doofus you hate in politics, media, and entertainment seems to be lining up for the fire exits. In fact, we’re seeing anywhere from three-to-five sex creeps being shown the door. At this rate, there will be no … Continue reading →
And good riddance. His ongoing popularity was almost exactly what he wanted, and he had a fawning media to keep us updated on all aspects of his long and up-until-recently healthy life. Had justice been served, he would have rotted … Continue reading →
If you’ve been anywhere near Pinterest for the last 50 years, you know that Disney characters are even more interesting than smoking meats, building your own water filtration system, or ripping down Confederate statues. And the ability to draw a … Continue reading →
The Gormogons answer all your pressing questions…well, at least the ones you asked…well, at least….nevermind. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past … Continue reading →
A few of us discuss eating out, restaurant experiences, and other food topics GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. … Continue reading →
The Gormos spook-out and talk Halloween traditions and experiences GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this … Continue reading →
Esteemed Eminence; Just to give you a worm’s-eye perspective, when The Darlin’ Daughter was of that age, she bailed on Girl Scouts because they were “boring.” She was much more interested in what her brother, two years her junior, was … Continue reading →
The Czar, Gilgamesh, what more could you want? GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay … Continue reading →
The Czar received a fair amount of email and social media comments about the recent decision about the Boy Scouts of America’s decision to allow in girls, most of it negative. The Czar’s own opinions are available on this site, … Continue reading →
GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. … Continue reading →
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Call me Ishmael. Hop on Pop. Dear Penthouse Forum. All great stories start with a memorable opening line. Not this one. ‘Puter really should start with some backstory. … Continue reading →
GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. … Continue reading →
The Inscrutable Mandarin and the Czar of Muscovy have very different watchdog natures: the former tends to monitor Facebook, and the latter is more a creature of Twitter. To be more accurate, the Mandarin’s Facebook-to-Twitter ratio is about 80/20, and … Continue reading →
What a difference a day makes. The Czar commented only just yesterday about the mystery surrounding the Boy Scouts of America’s consideration of allowing girls to join, and here we are with a full decision to do so. The Czar … Continue reading →
GorT stopped and just stared at the news report on TV last night as they were announcing that the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) are rolling out a plan to include girls in the program. I’m not sure exactly where … Continue reading →
Your Gormogons are wrapping up “Season 1” of Radio Gormogon with one more episode to air (hopefully) sometime before Halloween. While we have a number of topics floating around the Rumpus Room….literally (how you ask? The Mandarin has some sort … Continue reading →
Of all places, Slate.com has a strange piece about the Boy Scouts of America considering accepting girls into their ranks, and the Girl Scouts of America being, well, kinda pissed about it. The Czar serves as a “committee member at … Continue reading →
The Daily Show went from a wise-cracking news parody show to a full-fledged wing of the Democrat party’s PR department. Ratings fell. Stephen Colbert dropped his goofy persona to join the chorus of voices attacking Republicans. His ratings, never good, … Continue reading →
The Czar discusses Korea GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, … Continue reading →
In 2012 the NFL had an issue with Tim Tebow kneeling for each game to pray, they also had an issue with Tebow wearing John 3:16 as part of his blackout to avoid glare and made him take it off. … Continue reading →
Chances are good you haven’t heard much about the Kurdish independence vote in Iraq, which is a shame because it’s way more important than the Catalonian vote that sometimes pops up on world-news-only broadcasts. And if you’re like most Americans, … Continue reading →
Finishing off our talk about movies GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the … Continue reading →
Rule 1: Americans don’t like being lectured. Rule 1 is the only hard and fast rule applicable to all Americans. Think about it. What other generalization can you make that covers the trailer park junkie in rural West Virginia, the … Continue reading →
If you want to make a social statement by kneeling (or sitting) during the presentation of the colors* and the National Anthem, fine. I’d argue that it’s your right under the Constitution to do so. If you want to get … Continue reading →
The Gormos gather in the rumpus room and talk about movies GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits … Continue reading →
Gormos discuss elites and their affects GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the … Continue reading →
Finishing off the discussion on the political climate and our future GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits … Continue reading →
The Czar is correct in his previous post in this series, that the skills learned in scouting stick with you. Yes, I can fold my laundry with the best and I know how to iron*. Some merit badges have more … Continue reading →
GorT sent us a memo last week stipulating that he was going to do a series on scouting, particularly on merit badges. The Czar serves officially as a “committee member at large” for his boys’ scout troop, although everyone refers … Continue reading →
Part 1 of a discussion around the political climate in the country and where we’re heading GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the … Continue reading →
A week or so ago, GorT came across his old merit badge sash from when he was a boy scout*. Since then I have been mulling over doing a series of posts on Scouting in general and some of the … Continue reading →
What’s interesting to the Czar is not that Iceland is dumb enough to think it has medically reduced the occurrence of Down Syndrome, but that the rest of the world didn’t lose its collective mind over that ghastly admission. Iceland’s … Continue reading →
The following essay is a guest post from JAB, of the Double-Wide. We remind our readers that you are welcome to submit your thoughts either as an email or as a complete essay. Since the Trailer-Park-at-the-Edge-of-Town is a bit southwest … Continue reading →
Join Doc and some other Gormos as we discuss healthcare in the United States GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for … Continue reading →
It’s been a while since GorT has dived into the mailbag and this time, I drew two out of the bag. The first one comes from Dr. (KN)J: O most exalted robotitude: first of all, my apologies for my silence … Continue reading →
The Gormogons finish off our episode on grilling and smoking food. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits … Continue reading →
The Mandarin, ‘Puter, and GorT spent some time last night sitting along the Castle moat talking about the current events with regards to the events in Charlottesville, Nazis, White Supremacists, AntiFA, and that whole mess. A passing mention was made … Continue reading →
Dear America, ‘Puter’s been doing some thinking and far too much drinking. ‘Puter was on vacation last week. Don’t judge him. Of course, ‘Puter’s doctor’s probably not going to be too pleased when ‘Puter goes to see her next week, … Continue reading →
Join a few of the Gormogons as we discuss grilling and smoking food and techniques GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past … Continue reading →
GorT is back from vacation and ready to take on a few things that took place while he was tanning his 8-foot titanium robot casing. Given that it is a topic I have discussed before and that it is near … Continue reading →
Are you fatigued? Really, are you just exhausted with the news? The Czar is, and he realized some time ago that you could take two weeks off, with no contact with the outside world, come back, and find that none … Continue reading →
While taping one of our episodes, ‘Puter decided to go off on a rant…about pandas. Seriously. GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the … Continue reading →
Quick teaser for episode 2 GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ … Continue reading →
Well, like the Czar, you probably call them “generations,” whereas the trendy thing to call them these days is “cohorts.” Although sociologists mock at the idea that people born within certain time-frames share similar, almost predictable values, it’s important to … Continue reading →
GorT carefully peeked into his Facebook and Twitter this morning to get a lay of the land. My takeaway: democrats/liberals/those on the left (choose your terminology) have a lot of free time. I honestly don’t know what they’re doing. I … Continue reading →
‘Puter dutifully logged onto Twitter yesterday morning to see about what outrage of the moment had America’s Most Dysfunctional Social Media Site’s attention. ‘Puter soon found and read this CNN article concerning Attorney General Sessions filing an amicus brief in … Continue reading →
The Czar’s post on displaying flags on vehicles encouraged a few of you to respond. While these were uniformly positive, two of them had either questions or an additional thought. From devoted Operative R, the following observations arrived: Your recent … Continue reading →
Some days ago, the Czar was in his Trailhawk headed east-bound on a thoroughfare through Muscovy, when he saw in the west-bound lanes a fellow Jeep driver—this one in a stupidly “tacticalized” Jeep Wrangler, with blackened windows, snorkel, black tow … Continue reading →
As the Czar provides some great instruction on smoking poultry here and we discussed this a bit on our two-parter podcast (see link on the left side of the main site) on smoking and grilling, GorT thought he’d take a … Continue reading →
Listeners of our podcasts got quite the lecture from GorT on the importance of brining, to which Ghettoputer and the Czar immediately agreed. Brining meats before cooking them is often helpful, sometimes essential. The Czar likes to brine poultry…although arguments … Continue reading →
The Czar has spent roughly $473,843 over the last 20 years taking his foursome to see Marvel movies at the theater. The Czar realized Saturday that Spider-Man: Homecoming appeared in theaters this weekend, and took the family to see it … Continue reading →
Based on the recent discussions in the Castle (listen here to our most recent podcast for a taste) and a recent Twitter post by ‘Puter who pointed out the problems with this NY Times article. Keep in mind this article … Continue reading →
Saturday was perfect weather in Muscovy, and the Czar relaxed at his dacha. Making the day even more joyous was the arrival of Ghettoputer and the Inscrutable Mandarin, who arrived in the afternoon to tell stories, eat food, and drink … Continue reading →
There’s a momentum-gathering notion in Congress to repeal Obamacare, then replace it… as opposed to a repeal-and-replace two-for-one. Repealing Obamacare first is smarter politics, because the attitude about Repeal-and-Replace is this: Conservative GOP: This bill doesn’t cut enough. Moderate GOP: … Continue reading →
GorT is flat out amazed at the amount of time some people put into posting, reposting, and kvetching about politics on social media when they do little else about it. Sure, they might have voted, but given the passion behind … Continue reading →
The Gormogons gather in the Castle and do introductions on this podcast and discuss the media GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the … Continue reading →
Teaser for the forthcoming inaugural season of Radio Gormogons GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this … Continue reading →
August 21st, the United States enjoys a total solar eclipse, in which the moon slams into the Earth, blocking out sunlight for years. Actually, this will be the closest the moon will be to the earth (periodontology) until 2988, so … Continue reading →
At The Federalist, David Harsanyi reflects on the Georgia special election and teases the question: What if Republican voters who don’t particularly like Donald Trump are also able to compartmentalize their votes? What if they dislike Democrats more than they … Continue reading →
GorT knew yesterday’s commute home was going to be a trainwreck. I was leaving the Chantilly, VA area around 3:30pm heading to the Bethesda, MD area right at the tail end of a sizable summer thunderstorm – guaranteed the Beltway … Continue reading →
