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The West Is At Ideological War With Islam, And We’re Losing

The Gormogons Posted on May 24, 2017 by 'PuterMay 24, 2017

  Islam is an ideology. Classical liberalism is an ideology. In the ongoing clash of these ideologies, which will win? Looking at our progressive Left and its motley crew of pink-armpit-haired lesbian feminists, armchair socialists, obese antifa weenies, and emasculated, … Continue reading →

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Terrorism, Ideology, and the Land of Bad Solutions

The Gormogons Posted on May 24, 2017 by 'PuterMay 24, 2017

Monday’s terrorist attack in Manchester got ‘Puter thinking. No one defends mass murderers. People (mainly progressives) defend terrorists. Why? What’s the difference? Ideology. Terrorists are out-of-power mass murderers with an ideology. Ordinary mass murderers kill without ideology. Castro, Lenin, Hitler, … Continue reading →

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Notre Dame Protest More of a Minor Tantrum

The Gormogons Posted on May 22, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyMay 22, 2017

Over the weekend, over 3,100 students graduated from Notre Dame University. You know this, because news reports are hammering how students stormed out in protest over the presence of commencement speaker Mike Pence (who coincidentally is Vice-President of the United … Continue reading →

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For Love of Emily

The Gormogons Posted on May 16, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyMay 16, 2017

Mainstream Media looks in the mirror and brushes her hair furiously. How dare that dorky Donny Trump take Emily to the Delight Under the Stars dance next week? What do they see in each other? She’s so weird, with her … Continue reading →

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Reefer Madness! Or Trump Madness. Bqhatevwr.

The Gormogons Posted on May 12, 2017 by 'PuterMay 12, 2017

Trump’s presidency has induced full-tilt, bat-sh*t crazy madness in once sane people. The shock of Donald Trump chucking Hillary “The Sure Thing” Clinton aside like a no-longer-hot-soon-to-be-ex-wife is partly to blame, sure. But ‘Puter’s got a niggling feeling there’s more … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 'Puter's Always Right, Clintons, Hippies, Liberals, Suck It Czar

Girl Scouts: Stay Straight; Don’t Turn Left

The Gormogons Posted on May 10, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyMay 10, 2017

The Czar’s boys are full-fledged Boy Scouts, replete with the traditional skills of fire building, survival shelters, rifle shooting, camping, eating weird foods, and volunteering all over the place, in uniform, to help out all sorts of seemingly lost causes … Continue reading →

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Professional Failure

The Gormogons Posted on May 9, 2017 by GorTMay 9, 2017

GorT can’t believe that the following premise hasn’t been more prominent in the ongoing debate about Russian influence in the 2016 Presidential election: The contents of the emails have not been denied or asserted as being false or manufactured. Consider the … Continue reading →

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The Czar Reviews ‘Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2’

The Gormogons Posted on May 6, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyMay 6, 2017

The Czar, as usual, went opening weekend to check out Marvel Studios’ latest 200-minute picture Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume Two, which—as you know—features Julia Robert coming to grips with her impending death from a rare Hollywood writer’s disease. No, … Continue reading →

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No One Cares About the First 100 Days

The Gormogons Posted on April 25, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 25, 2017

Did you know that President Trump’s* first 100 days are nearly up? You must know that his 100 days are almost up. Everybody’s talking about his first 100 days, and surely by now you know that they’re almost over. Trump’s … Continue reading →

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For Science, You Monster

The Gormogons Posted on April 21, 2017 by GorTApril 21, 2017

On the eve of the “March for Science” (I had to look that up as I’m lost my quick reference guide to the various marches), Neil deGrasse Tyson posted a piece titled, “Science in America.” You can read it here, … Continue reading →

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Freaky Things

The Gormogons Posted on April 17, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 17, 2017

The Czar has noticed that whenever he writes about North Korea, he tends to get thoughtful mail. Ваше Императорское Величество, Your post today brought something to my memory from when I was a lowly Lance Corporal back in the early … Continue reading →

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North Korean Myths On the Bubble

The Gormogons Posted on April 14, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 14, 2017

Earlier this week, the United States Navy sped the USS Carl Vinson carrier strike group toward North Korea. Yesterday, the United States Air Force demonstrated pinpoint accuracy with the GBU-43/B Mother of All Bombs (MOAB) on an ISIS cave system … Continue reading →

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Syria: Trap or Opportunity?

The Gormogons Posted on April 7, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2017

Derek the Last grabs a bottle of something—we aren’t certain what; the label was obscured in a century of cobwebby dust—pours himself a carefully measured shot into a small glass, and proceeded to drink directly from the bottle until it … Continue reading →

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It’s a Tax, Stupid: ObamaPhones Edition

The Gormogons Posted on April 3, 2017 by 'PuterApril 3, 2017

  ‘Puter read Nicholas Kristof’s column in yesterday’s New York Times. The column concerned Trump voters remaining loyal despite Trump’s acts which Mr. Kristof asserts harm his voters. The column is unobjectionable using ‘Puter’s standards for judging NYT columns.* ‘Puter … Continue reading →

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How To Be A WaPo Headline Writer

The Gormogons Posted on April 2, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 2, 2017

Democracy dies in darkness, it is said; journalism dies at The Washington Post. The Czar of course exaggerates; he merely means to say that WaPo is among the worst newspapers on Earth. It’s like the New York Times, but without … Continue reading →

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Big Bird, Big Government

The Gormogons Posted on March 30, 2017 by 'PuterMarch 30, 2017

Nicholas Kristof penned this opinion piece in today’s New York Times. ‘Puter agrees with every single item Mr. Kristof espouses with the exception of the underlying point of the entire piece. Yes, humanities and arts are vitally important to a … Continue reading →

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If Democrats Go, What Happens?

The Gormogons Posted on March 21, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 21, 2017

Over at The Federalist, Dominic Lynch has an excellent piece detailing the seriousness of the Democratic Party’s collapse, and shares the Czar’s view that the Democrats are poised to fold as a party, even though they might not actually do … Continue reading →

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‘Puter Asks The Questions Paul Krugman Wouldn’t Dare To Ask

The Gormogons Posted on March 17, 2017 by 'PuterMarch 17, 2017

Paul Krugman, Nobel laureate and distinguished New York Times columnist, informs America today that everyone on the right is a bigoted, hateful predator. Krugman is long-known for ignoring reality in order to push Democrats’ currently favored narratives, even when doing … Continue reading →

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Generational Cycles

The Gormogons Posted on March 16, 2017 by GorTMarch 18, 2017

  GorT, Sr. passed along a summary presentation on generational cycles that stems from The Fourth Turning, a book by William Strauss and Neil Howe, in regards to Czar’s opening in this post.   The basic premise is that there are … Continue reading →

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No, This Went Badly

The Gormogons Posted on March 15, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 15, 2017

Dear Tsar, I had a confusing experience on Women’s Day. I was on Facebook (a mistake, I know) and made a comment about the Wage Gap on a friend’s status. A crapstorm of decent proportions followed. What ended up happening … Continue reading →

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Words Matter

The Gormogons Posted on March 15, 2017 by GorTMarch 15, 2017

Our good friend Mo (@molratty on Twitter) commented on a thread with the following: These people just say anything. Seriously. Whatever they can get their hands on without regard to consistency GorT has been kicking around the idea behind this post … Continue reading →

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Nihil Sub Sole Novum Est

The Gormogons Posted on March 9, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 9, 2017

Well, it’s time for another rant about the generation gap. The Czar tends to be more accepting of the Millennials than his Castlemates, because by and large, the kids born between 1983 – 2001 are finally getting their feet on … Continue reading →

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Chronic Conditions

The Gormogons Posted on March 2, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyMarch 2, 2017

Derek the Last writes in about a good prediction that he made: Ваше Императорское Величество, Recently, in the state that I hail from, the voters passed a measure to allow medical marijuana to be legal and joined the ranks of … Continue reading →

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Mandy More

The Gormogons Posted on February 27, 2017 by The MandarinFebruary 27, 2017

Your Mandarin is not used to posting so much, but our Retired Spook has written in to discuss scout rifles. Esteemed Mandarin; Was pleasantly surprised to see your brief discourse on scout rifles, and would like to add my $0.02 … Continue reading →

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Mandarin Mail

The Gormogons Posted on February 24, 2017 by The MandarinFebruary 24, 2017

Hello, children. Hello. Your Mandarin received this interesting letter in the post this morning. That’s funny! But actually, you ask a very good question. Indeed, the Mandarin is a very big fan of the scout rifle concept, and there are … Continue reading →

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Democrats Lack a Game Plan. What They Have is Scarier.

The Gormogons Posted on February 17, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyFebruary 17, 2017

Operative B curled his first around a glass of something caramel colored and sighed loudly, like an old dog finding a slightly less comfortable spot on an uncomfortable bed. The New York Times is reporting that several members of the … Continue reading →

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NYT Editors: States Should Take Your Money Because You’re Too Dumb To Manage It

The Gormogons Posted on February 17, 2017 by 'PuterFebruary 17, 2017

[Note: This was supposed to get posted yesterday, but WordPress was on the fritz, so it’s up today. Also, suck it, Czar] “Who’d Want to Limit Retirement Plans? House Republicans.” Or so says the New York Times, implying there can … Continue reading →

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Embrace Bias, Not Just Diversity

The Gormogons Posted on February 13, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyFebruary 13, 2017

The Czar has long argued that the media can help themselves by dropping the act: admit their respective biases and continue forward. Yes, that makes all news reporting little more than opinion pieces, perhaps with better sourcing, but opinion pieces … Continue reading →

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Real World Agrees With Czar

The Gormogons Posted on February 7, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyFebruary 7, 2017

Retired Spook writes in to say, well, the Czar is right as usual. Your Immensity; Sorry I haven’t been as active as I should have been, occasionally, life intrudes on what we’d like to be doing. But I couldn’t pass … Continue reading →

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Six Stages of Liberals

The Gormogons Posted on February 3, 2017 by GorTFebruary 3, 2017

As evidenced by recent family discussions, opinion pieces, protests riots, and the stances being taken by democrat leaders, the left side of the aisle has become unhinged.  GorT tends to believe that they are following the “six stages of grief”: Shock – … Continue reading →

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Knowledge is Good

The Gormogons Posted on January 31, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyJanuary 31, 2017

Television host and opera singer Mike Rowe has been touring the country promoting his most recent effort, The mikeroweWORKS Foundation, which is attempting to de-stigmatize having no college degree. As Rowe more or less puts it, there are roughly 6 … Continue reading →

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Your 2017 Chinese Horoscopes

The Gormogons Posted on January 27, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyJanuary 27, 2017

As Chinese New Year’s approaches, we here at the Castle want to wish all our Chinese readers 拖拉機拖車! (Gong Fu Fat Chow), and remind all of you round-eye imperialist running dogs that the Chinese zodiac is total horseshit made up … Continue reading →

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Illegitimate Presidents

The Gormogons Posted on January 20, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyJanuary 20, 2017

JAB, who is indeed someone of consequence and worth getting to know if you should see her around the Castle, has evidently had a fair amount to drink and decided the best way to work off a major buzz was … Continue reading →

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In Which ‘Puter Gets Disenfriendchised By Everyone On Facebook

The Gormogons Posted on January 20, 2017 by 'PuterJanuary 20, 2017

I posted what follows on my personal Facebook page moments ago. Let the hate commence. I figure most of you have already muted me permanently, and that the rest will after this, but here goes. I’ve been fairly quiet since … Continue reading →

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The Inaugural Address Trump Should (But Won’t) Give

The Gormogons Posted on January 19, 2017 by 'PuterJanuary 19, 2017

My Fellow Americans, I humbly accept the office of the presidency of the United States. I thank each of you for your trust, and will work hard to prove myself worthy of it. America, we have heard you. We *will* … Continue reading →

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Advertisement: the AR-15 4K

The Gormogons Posted on January 18, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyJanuary 18, 2017

NEW FROM YOUR FRIENDS AT GORMO-ARMS! Hey, have you ever noticed that your AR-15 is looking all drab and low definition? That’s because the AR-15 was designed in the 1950s, in the analog days: that’s why most of them aren’t … Continue reading →

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Choose Your Adventure!

The Gormogons Posted on January 14, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyJanuary 14, 2017

Scenario 1: After 8 years of an obnoxious president, voters realized Hillary Clinton would be just as bad, and perhaps worse, than her predecessor; thus motivated, they turned out in respectable numbers to vote for an alternative, even though he … Continue reading →

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Obama and the Democrats Gave Us President Trump

The Gormogons Posted on January 11, 2017 by 'PuterJanuary 11, 2017

Smarter people than ‘Puter have written about Democrats’ strategy of unity through division. Way smarter people. People like that one kid in third grade who ate paste and his own boogers, probably. But ‘Puter feels he has something to add. … Continue reading →

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Rage One: A Czar Wars Story

The Gormogons Posted on January 8, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyJanuary 8, 2017

The Czar was evidently among the last to see Rogue One: A Star Wars Story on the big screen last night, based on the very light audience present. But he gathered up the boys, found great seats about middle-center (where … Continue reading →

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And It Gets Dumber

The Gormogons Posted on January 3, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyJanuary 3, 2017

GorT’s entirely correct that Democrats are engaging in their typical naked hypocrisy regarding the Republicans’ attempted changes to the Office of Congressional Ethics. Perhaps it’s just jealousy that the Democrats never managed to do it. There are two points to … Continue reading →

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And So It Begins

The Gormogons Posted on January 3, 2017 by GorTJanuary 3, 2017

GorT’s liberal relatives fired up this morning regarding the GOP’s late night move to attempt to dismantle the Office of Congressional Ethics.  The problem is that any move against an office purported to be in existence to provide independent oversight … Continue reading →

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There Is No Obama Legacy

The Gormogons Posted on January 1, 2017 by The Czar of MuscovyJanuary 1, 2017

Happy New Year, to all our followers, minions, and operatives. There will be no pay raises for any of you this year. The Czar spent the afternoon reviewing Euler’s equations for a rotating solid, and still finds it hilarious that … Continue reading →

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How to Be a UN Ambassador

The Gormogons Posted on December 30, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyDecember 30, 2016

The following essay is a guest post from Derek the Last. We remind our readers that you are welcome to submit your thoughts either as an email or as a complete essay. There has been a lot of talk about … Continue reading →

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One State, One Israel

The Gormogons Posted on December 29, 2016 by 'PuterDecember 29, 2016

Donald Trump, for all his flaws, has succeeded in doing what no Republican president to date has done: illustrating the emperors of Foggy Bottom have no clothes. Take the latest Obama-Kerry fit of pique/backstabbing of Israel. State Department doctrine is … Continue reading →

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‘Puter’s 2017 Prognostications

The Gormogons Posted on December 28, 2016 by 'PuterDecember 28, 2016

Screw Nostradamus and Miss Cleo. Plus, they’re dead anyway. You’ve got ‘Puter, Master Prognosticator to the Stars!* As a service to you, dear readers, ‘Puter spent the last week reading the signs and communing with the spirits of time to … Continue reading →

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Liberals Still Not Getting the Message

The Gormogons Posted on December 20, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyDecember 20, 2016

Well, you all know ScottO (@gscottoliver), right? Well, he wrote in recently. O Dread Czar, In your excellent recent piece “Academia Becomes Aware”, you stated one reason that leftist arguments lose to the right, and went on to hint at … Continue reading →

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Mailbag

The Gormogons Posted on December 17, 2016 by GorTDecember 17, 2016

It’s been a while since GorT has delved into the mailbag, but this morning he reached in and pulled this one out at random from the 13,438,325 unread emails (‘Puter keeps clicking on those random links in emails): Dear GorT, … Continue reading →

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Cyberbullying

The Gormogons Posted on December 13, 2016 by GorTDecember 13, 2016

I almost posted the following (or a version thereof) to Facebook as I really am interested in what other-minded folks would say.  But maybe I’ll start here. Let’s say that Russia sponsored hackers infiltrated email servers and released DNC and … Continue reading →

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Academia Becomes Aware

The Gormogons Posted on December 12, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyDecember 12, 2016

The Czar has been anticipating a massive academic correction in Higher Education for some time, now. Awareness is always a positive first sign, and for years now the average American understands that college tuition is ridiculous for what you get … Continue reading →

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Cuba 2: Electric Boogaloo

The Gormogons Posted on December 7, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyDecember 7, 2016

Reply mail appeared under our door yesterday, this time from Operative SMR, who was able to provide additional thought on how Cuba survived economic isolation. The Czar thinks these ideas are quite good. Dear The Czar, I read with interest

Continue reading →
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The Cuban Scam

The Gormogons Posted on December 6, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyDecember 6, 2016

The Czar is frequently in and out of the Castle, and has so many visitors that he just cannot make time for everyone. Derek the Last, long-time castle visitor (because he cannot pay his guest bill, so he’s decided to … Continue reading →

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Cabinet Brackets

The Gormogons Posted on December 2, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyDecember 2, 2016

Well, it’s been over a week since anybody posted anything up over here. You probably assumed we were just busy with the holidays or whatever, but the truth is ‘Puter really trashes up the place. We’ve just been the last … Continue reading →

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How to Talk to Liberal Guests This Holiday

The Gormogons Posted on November 23, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 23, 2016

Every so often, something happens that astonishes the long-over-lived Czar. Lately, it’s been the sudden appearance of a conservative backbone. Look, we all have at least one liberal loud-mouth at every holiday gathering, either a friend or relative who signals … Continue reading →

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Why Liberals Fear the GOP

The Gormogons Posted on November 23, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 23, 2016

The Czar welcomes Derek the Last to the pool of correspondents (although it’s really more of a deep dry well than a pool…unless you count the blood), and does not believe he has written in before, and the Czar wonders … Continue reading →

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3 Things Liberals Should Know But Don’t

The Gormogons Posted on November 22, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 22, 2016

As Democrats slowly recognize the awful position in which they have placed themselves, they function almost purely by instinct now. Far too many of the recent opinion pieces implicitly or explicitly rely on tropes that most Americans, it would seem, … Continue reading →

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Operative B on Operating Bikes

The Gormogons Posted on November 21, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 21, 2016

The Czar agrees with every word of Operative B’s thoughts, below: Your Majesty, Yes, the grand majority of Harley-Davidson riders – among them are Victory and Indian riders – are polite and genteel folk who do indeed pull over to … Continue reading →

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How to Operate a Motorcycle

The Gormogons Posted on November 20, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 20, 2016

There’s nothing better than feeling the wind tear through your hair, the skies overhead, the rough feel of the road under you, and the sound of traffic—unless of course this is you waking up naked alongside the expressway again. But … Continue reading →

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Things I Learned From My Facebook Feed This Election

The Gormogons Posted on November 16, 2016 by 'PuterNovember 16, 2016

Trump and the Republicans are going to hunt down and kill every last LGBTQ person, woman, and melanin enhanced person because Trump is the literal equivalent of Hitler and the Republicans are the indubitable modern day SS. The currently sitting … Continue reading →

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America from the Crossroads

The Gormogons Posted on November 14, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 14, 2016

The Czar got three things wrong this election: he originally said in 2012 that the Republicans were certain to lose in 2016. He said that Hillary Clinton would not run because she was inherently unelectable. He also predicted Donald Trump … Continue reading →

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Thanks, Vets

The Gormogons Posted on November 11, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 11, 2016

Thanks to so many who did so much for so many more. May we be worthy of your countless and timeless sacrifices and setbacks. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The … Continue reading →

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Rose Colored Glasses in The Hall of Mirrors

The Gormogons Posted on November 11, 2016 by GorTNovember 11, 2016

GorT’s friends, family, and even co-workers are a pretty diverse bunch in social issues, economic issues, and definitely in political issues.  And within that group there are those that range in extremes on all of those issues.  There were the … Continue reading →

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The Vaporzez

The Gormogons Posted on November 10, 2016 by Dr. J.November 10, 2016

Gentle Readers, It wouldn’t be an election post mortem without all of your Gormogons providing commentary. Dr. J. was taken aback by the vast swaths of pussytude infecting the half of the voters that voted for Hillary Clinton in response to her … Continue reading →

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How Mandarin Predicted the Election

The Gormogons Posted on November 9, 2016 by The MandarinNovember 9, 2016

Hello, children. Hello. Your Mandarin and the Czar were conversing a some days prior to the election when the Czar expressed concern regarding now President-Elect Trump’s poll numbers.  Your Mandarin being all knowing, and with the help of some crude … Continue reading →

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The Future

The Gormogons Posted on November 9, 2016 by GorTNovember 9, 2016

Today, and the next few weeks and months will be telling and it’s a time from introspection.  As you read your Twitter timeline, your Facebook feed, Instagram, watch the news, listen to the radio, consider for a moment that there … Continue reading →

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Weaker Together

The Gormogons Posted on November 8, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 8, 2016

Dear Your Czarness, May I interrupt Your Czarness’s celebrations after the World Series and request that you come back down to terra firma ….’cause you know we’ve got this little matter of an election today. I think that by Wednesday, … Continue reading →

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Weirder Than Strange

The Gormogons Posted on November 7, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 7, 2016

The Czar and his family took off to see Doctor Strange and felt you would very much enjoy it. In doing research for this review, which basically consisted of seeing the film, the Czar read a couple of reviews in … Continue reading →

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The Media Are Even Biased About Bias

The Gormogons Posted on November 4, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 4, 2016

Which is worse? The news that the media is so obviously employed as a tool of the Democrats to control the narrative, or that this isn’t even news? Poll after poll shows that Americans simply do not believe the media. … Continue reading →

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Last Night’s Revelation

The Gormogons Posted on November 3, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyNovember 3, 2016

And you should be concerned about the time we have left. 1 And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come … Continue reading →

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Weaker Together

The Gormogons Posted on October 31, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 31, 2016

Boy, Democrats are sure ticked this weekend about the FBI’s reopening of their investigation of Hillary Clinton. Normally, news broken on a Friday afternoon is forgotten by the media before the Sunday morning chat shows, but this time the outrage … Continue reading →

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Death, Dying, and Dad

The Gormogons Posted on October 31, 2016 by 'PuterOctober 31, 2016

‘Puter visited his Dad this weekend. As most of you know, ‘Puter’s Dad was diagnosed a year or so ago with primary progressive aphasia (or, dementia, logopenic variant). Basically, Dad is losing his ability to communicate, reason, and do simple … Continue reading →

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Nepotism Run Amok

The Gormogons Posted on October 24, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 24, 2016

When it comes down to it, there’s only one sport on which the Gormogons agree, and that’s hockey—it’s awesome. The Czar loves baseball, and GorT and Ghettoputer love soccer and there’s not much either of us can do to change … Continue reading →

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Double from the Doublewide

The Gormogons Posted on October 20, 2016 by GorTOctober 20, 2016

JAB writes in from the Doublewide in regards to this post by the Czar and GorT’s response: In order to avoid banishment to a terribly unpleasant place, I must first agree with Your Czarness’ observation that MLB, made up “rivalries” … Continue reading →

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Strike Out

The Gormogons Posted on October 14, 2016 by GorTOctober 14, 2016

From time to time, there are disagreements in the Castle.  One such topic that generates this is the whole baseball and soccer talk.  The Czar recently posted a interesting read – which I agree with in parts – but take … Continue reading →

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National Passed Time

The Gormogons Posted on October 12, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 12, 2016

The Czar likes baseball and he’s not alone. He’s not one of those Euro-weenies who are into soccer, and who get all aggressive about it because they don’t want to admit, yeah, soccer is a little socialist like nationalised healthcare … Continue reading →

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Running for Precedent

The Gormogons Posted on October 10, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 10, 2016

The Czar presumes it’s too early to announce eight full years of Hillary Clinton’s oppression as president, but doesn’t see much alternative after this weekend. The Czar, unfortunately, was unable to see last night’s debate as he was attending a … Continue reading →

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A Letter and a Rant

The Gormogons Posted on October 6, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 6, 2016

Dear Sovereign Czar, I am sorry for not asking about the Цесаревич’s election. I request that my punishment be made in the form of eating re-heated frozen burritos. The cheap kind, too. On a side note, did you see that … Continue reading →

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Repro-debate

The Gormogons Posted on October 5, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 5, 2016

The vice-presidential debate was certainly better—and more substantive—than the Caddyshack St. Andrew’s dinner dance scene that preceded it. But it won’t make any difference. It’s doubtful anyone on the fence will suddenly switch to supporting Hillary Clinton after watching Sen. … Continue reading →

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The Way the World Works

The Gormogons Posted on October 4, 2016 by GorTOctober 4, 2016

It’s been a bit since GorT posted anything and the Czar’s post yesterday inspired a thought and I think it actually ties in to the national disaster-of-an-election-cycle as well. GorT’s middle child, 2-of-3, is a high school senior.  She is … Continue reading →

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Muscovy Election Update

The Gormogons Posted on October 3, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyOctober 3, 2016

Thanks to all of you who asked about the Цесаревич’s student council presidential campaign. The number of candidates eventually dropped to four: the incumbent SJW, the fashion model boy who only seems to have girls as friends, the basketball girl, … Continue reading →

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A Review of the Almost Debate

The Gormogons Posted on September 27, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 27, 2016

Normally, the Czar writes up a debate review for all of those readers who were not watching it; however, from what we understand, you probably did watch it. And why not? Putting Trump against Clinton in an unscripted, unrehearsed context … Continue reading →

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Some Traditions Are Bad. Really Bad.

The Gormogons Posted on September 23, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 23, 2016

As one gets older, one tends to skew to a cranky disposition. The Czar was born in the mid-1200s, making him quite old and quite cranky. But that never means he’s wrong, and we do have a bit of a … Continue reading →

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It’s Not Lupus or Sometimes Hoofbeats are from Zebras

The Gormogons Posted on September 18, 2016 by Dr. J.September 19, 2016

Dr. J. would like to apologize for his prolonged absence (except to Fred who probably welcomed Dr. J.’s prolonged absence). The Lil Resident fell ill about two years ago (the first of two major illnesses in two years), right at … Continue reading →

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Long Time No Seethe

The Gormogons Posted on September 18, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 18, 2016

You never know who will come walking into the lobby bar at the Castle Gormogon. Hello! I wonder if you all remember me at your site, but I used to write you back when men were men and TVs were … Continue reading →

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‘Puter’s Field Guide to Trump Supporters

The Gormogons Posted on September 13, 2016 by 'PuterSeptember 13, 2016

‘Puter decided he’d give media types a hand in identifying the various subspecies of Trump supporters. Media clearly need ‘Puter’s assistance, because their recent attempts at defining Trump supporters waver between uniformed hilarity and vicious condescension. ‘Puter breaks Trump supporters … Continue reading →

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Everything Sucks, A ‘Puter Rant

The Gormogons Posted on September 12, 2016 by 'PuterSeptember 12, 2016

How the ever-lovin’ f*ck did we get here? There are around 340 million or so Americans, probably 150 million or so of whom could plausibly be president, and moron voters in both parties (and the moron parties themselves) decide to … Continue reading →

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All Politics Are Local. Some More Local Than Others.

The Gormogons Posted on September 8, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 8, 2016

The Цесаревич appears to be entering the world of politics, with his declaration yesterday that he intends to run for Student Council President of Muscovy Junior High School. The decision was not reached easily, but was made quickly. Last year, … Continue reading →

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Ghostly Messages

The Gormogons Posted on September 2, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovySeptember 2, 2016

One of the best parts of our day are the crank letters. Because of the nature of this site and the high intelligence level of our readership, we get some superb cranks stopping by. Ghost, for example, has been an … Continue reading →

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Juicy, White Breasts (and How to Conquer Them)

The Gormogons Posted on August 29, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 29, 2016

The Czar had a break in the weather to get some grilling in this weekend, and elected to do chicken. Grilled chicken, it may surprise some readers, gives a lot of folks fits and starts; indeed, the Czar is often … Continue reading →

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NBC Could Fix Olympic Coverage Easily

The Gormogons Posted on August 23, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 23, 2016

The Czar was pleased to see that Comcast could barely keep up with demand for streamed Olympic events, and overall ratings for streamed events by other providers was also much higher than expected. Perversely, the Czar was also pleased to … Continue reading →

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On Flags and Firemen

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 19, 2016

But we digress. Certainly, long-time readers here know the loathing animosity the Czar maintains for the liberal media, and is generally exhausted trying to scream at them all the time. Even so, the Czar is quite aware, thank you, that … Continue reading →

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End of Summer Thoughts

The Gormogons Posted on August 17, 2016 by GorTAugust 17, 2016

As GorT’s summer wraps up, he has a few thoughts to share on a variety of random subjects: I-95 is the work of the devil.   Well, not really.  But it sure feels like it.  Actually, the work of the … Continue reading →

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A Word on Gun Control

The Gormogons Posted on August 16, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 16, 2016

With a Hillary Clinton victory all but assured thanks to her long-time Republican assistant, America should brace for another four eight years of gun control speeches. The Czar doesn’t expect that President Hillary Clinton will be more obnoxious and ill-informed … Continue reading →

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In Which ‘Puter Rants About Sean Hannity

The Gormogons Posted on August 10, 2016 by 'PuterAugust 10, 2016

Sean Hannity is evil. ‘Puter knows. You’re sitting there on the crapper reading our blog on your fancy smart phone, thinking “But ‘Puter, Sean Hannity’s living proof there’s a place in the world for cute short bus kids!” Sure, Hannity’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 'Puter's Always Right, Sean Hannity, Suck It Czar

In Which ‘Puter (Finally) Writes Something Again

The Gormogons Posted on August 10, 2016 by 'PuterAugust 10, 2016

‘Puter hasn’t written much of late, not because there’s nothing to write about, but because there’s too much to write about. Today, ‘Puter shall take a bit of time to bitch about the worst people on the face of the … Continue reading →

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Comcast Olympic Coverage [Updated!]

The Gormogons Posted on August 8, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyAugust 10, 2016

The Czar seems to be enjoying the Olympics this time around more than in recent years. And he knows why. No, it isn’t the hysterical hypocrisy of the Opening Ceremonies lecturing us on environmentalism when Brazil is burning down its … Continue reading →

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Stranger Things

The Gormogons Posted on August 1, 2016 by GorTAugust 1, 2016

First – there are no spoilers in this post. GorT is not a fan of the horror genre per se.  Sure, he’s seen most of the classic horror movies (i.e. The Shining, Poltergeist, The Exorcist, etc.) and some odd ones … Continue reading →

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Guess Who Profits from the Student Loan Crisis

The Gormogons Posted on July 28, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 28, 2016

Did you know that 93% of the $1.2 trillion student debt is owed to the United States government? Yeah, it turns out that the United States is the biggest student lender by far. Why? Because they’re making a killing: in … Continue reading →

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The Irony of Anarchy

The Gormogons Posted on July 20, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 20, 2016

The Czar pays attention, for the most part, to the emails and tweets he receives, and notes with some smug pride that many of you have come to appreciate his long-standing observation that the spontaneous rioting that occurs in cities … Continue reading →

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And a “Gor Morgon” to You, Too

The Gormogons Posted on July 18, 2016 by The Czar of MuscovyJuly 18, 2016

Our beloved Operative SMR writes in that he and his wife were recently shoplifting in Ikea, and was delighted to find we have a product for sale there. Lest you doubt him, here’s the photo: “I always wondered where you … Continue reading →

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A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone. ایمام سیزدهم

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