The Czar and his family spent a wonderful weekend off-line, thank you, at a fantastic and ancient lake home up in Wisconsin with a large group of people. The days were filled with swimming, boating, eating, bonfires, and a hell … Continue reading →
GorT is steamed. Hopping mad. P.O.’d Really f**king angry. This nation has a set of laws. They should apply equally across everyone – regardless of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, etc. etc. So while we’re fighting for equality, we should … Continue reading →
Based on the support of England and Wales, Britain voted to leave the European Union. You might have heard about this; it was mentioned at least twice last week on the news. We’re also hearing that Scotland and Northern Ireland … Continue reading →
Nihil agis, nihil moliris, nihil cogitas quod non ego non modo audiam sed etiam videam planeque sentiam. Operative B swings by the Castle bar last night but declines to drink anything, He does however throw this out: Your Imperiousness, This … Continue reading →
Based on (Friend of the Gormogons) Jonathan Last’s rave review, I picked up Mary Eberstadt’s It’s Dangerous to Believe: Religious Freedom & its Enemies. I recommend it. I’m a little less overwhelmed than Jonathan was, however, for a reason I’ll … Continue reading →
The Czar is a giving Czar, and it warms his heart to see someone as famous and respected as Uncle Jay—the Big Guy, and the guy who should have gone into gritty, rage-filled urban hate rap instead of fiber optics—supplicating … Continue reading →
Very much worth your while is Sohrab Ahmari’s piece on the rising tide of illiberalism around the world over at Commentary. However, I would add one point that Ahmari largely ignores. While the turn towards community-centric populism, however the community … Continue reading →
The Czar has written a lot of great stuff over the years, all of which has been useful to you, and some of which probably saved your lives. Like today: the Czar woke up and realized you need to read … Continue reading →
The Czar finally figured out some stuff about the demand to raise the minimum wage. The Czar has explained why raising the minimum wage always hurts before, and who’s behind the whole scam, so he won’t go into that again. … Continue reading →
Operative B writes in, expressing a concern shared by millions right now: Your Greatness, This lowly one comes before you and begs permission to make an observation about some horrors in recent American history. But not the reason or ideology … Continue reading →
The Czar finally figured out some stuff about the demand to raise the minimum wage. The Czar has explained why raising the minimum wage always hurts before, and who’s behind the whole scam, so he won’t go into that again. … Continue reading →
GorT has made it pretty clear that most of the GOP candidates that were in the campaign weren’t appealing and Donald Trump is no different. I believe he’s a clown that enjoys the spotlight of attention. I’m sure he has … Continue reading →
It’s getting harder and harder to look forward to a 2016 election. You know, it’s been a very long time since both parties put up utter losers while the other party was so vulnerable. This should have been a cakewalk … Continue reading →
Not much provocation is required to launch the Czar into a rant about people’s driving habits. Likely, you share as much loathing for the typical driver as does the Czar. Indeed, some years ago, we suggested that the perfect intelligence … Continue reading →
Opinions on the Millennial generation vary here at the Castle. The Czar is a bit fascinated with generational psychology (and even prepared a handy guide for you all), and takes a more favorable view of this group than some of … Continue reading →
A couple of grabs from the mail bag today, and up first is Operative SMR, who used to write in quite a bit before he got bored with us: Dear The Czar, Thank you for your encouraging alert on the … Continue reading →
Can we get past the, “<Insert female actress’ name here> should be the next Bond.” movement? First, are there no creative writers out there that can’t write a female spy-action movie script? Maybe they could even borrow largely from the James … Continue reading →
Backlash can be a good thing, which is wonderful because there has been so much of that lately. Yes, you’re well aware of how Target’s stock prices have been negatively affected by their un-PR decision to remove the figurative doors … Continue reading →
The Czar has mentioned before that President Obama is obsessed with his own self-importance, and in particular what legacy he will leave. As Obama enters the twilight of his presidency, it is now clear what he has chosen it to … Continue reading →
President Obama’s Department of “Justice” sent North Carolina a letter last week defending the rights of the mentally ill to piss and crap wherever zhey want because Title VII and Title IX, or something.* As all other problems of note … Continue reading →
Due to a rare confluence of fortunate circumstances, the Czar managed to see a tentpole Hollywood blockbuster—Captain America: Civil War—on its opening night. Surprisingly, the theater was full but not crowded, and we were able to get very good seats, … Continue reading →
Thanks to all the loyal readers who peppered the Czar with concerns and complaints about our site’s performance recently. The Czar wants you to know that (a) he reads every one of them and (b) he’s not the freaking technical … Continue reading →
The Czar loathes, as you know, the media, particularly when they attempt to discuss scientific stories they haven’t really studied. Today, we find another example: a story is circulating around the news wires (many of these stories were written by … Continue reading →
Odds are you probably don’t want to be like the Czar. But if you are, you probably drive around your neighborhood, look at the scenery around you, and prudently wonder “What the hell is with all these mattress stores?” Gone … Continue reading →
The Czar hasn’t been neglecting his mail, but the question below was a pretty tough one from Operative B. Donald Trump, despite all his massive failures as a logician, poses a reasonable question: why not just chuck NATO, or at … Continue reading →
Much to the Czar’s astonishment, he went to a movie today in a real theater without having studied reviews of the film in advance. This is normally a massive no-no, but the Czar already had high expectations for The Jungle … Continue reading →
When it rains, it pours. Around some cerebral circles in the conservative corners, a discussion about UBI is circulating. Shorthand for Universal Basic Income, it’s an approach being seriously considered by a handful of European countries as a wholesale substitute … Continue reading →
It’s basically grilling season at last—although here in Muscovy the weather remains detrimental to good grilling. However, this delay shall be measured in days and the Czar, naturally, is quite excited. As grilling season kicks off, the Czar wants to … Continue reading →
GorT is an engineer – he enjoys building and fixing things: software, hardware, woodworking, etc. In that light, GorT relishes consistency. From his Jesuit education, an inconsistent platform or argument was always viewed as an easy target. So with the … Continue reading →
Apologies to William Shakespeare, but this quote from Hamlet, Act III, Scene 2 might be apropos for Ms. Jill Abramson, former NYT Editor who penned this opinion piece in The Guardian. The premise: Hillary Clinton is fundamentally honest and trustworthy. Given … Continue reading →
The Czar wishes to offend everybody today. Obviously, the dead of Brussels are a tragedy, and the wounded have our strongest hopes for a full recovery. The Czar does not intend to mock them, but will certainly criticize the hell … Continue reading →
So I ran across this in my missalette for Palm Sunday. I don’t know if the editors are making an oblique political commentary, but it jumped out at me. I’ve removed some of the specifically theological content for emphasis. Thronging … Continue reading →
I was listening to Bill Kristol talk to Robert Putnam about what’s gone wrong in the country over the past few decades (you should too), and I thought of three things that they touched on only lightly if at all. … Continue reading →
One of the more reliable vanities that conservatives have always enjoyed is that, despite the ceaseless contradiction from the Left, conservatives are a smart, practical, intelligent bunch of people. After all, it has been said repeatedly, conservatives think with their … Continue reading →
America’s broken, and it’s not the rabble’s fault. Quite the opposite, in fact. Who broke America? Smug bureaucrats, smirking media types (print, radio, and TV), condescending professoriate, and detached politicians of both parties broke it. How did they break America? … Continue reading →
MEMO To: Castle Guests, Minions, Operatives From: GorT Re: Castle Cleaning This memorandum is to serve notice that the Castle will be undergoing some routine cleaning tomorrow afternoon (Friday, March 11th, EST). Nothing major, just some light dusting, vacuuming, and … Continue reading →
Operative SM writes in with a sadly true observation: Dearest Czar, Having occupied one of the reddest of red counties in Illinois I am disturbed to no end by our current situation, and no, not on the national stage, but … Continue reading →
The Czar lives in a heavily Republican enclave in a deeply red county in Illinois; in fact, the Mandarin and the Czar often trade jibes with each other over whose home county is more conservative. It’s pretty much a tie. … Continue reading →
The Czar has been a big supporter of Bhutan since he first thought about it, around five minutes ago. Bhutan is a large country just to the right of Turkey, or at least that’s how it looked on Google Maps … Continue reading →
“Gambling Hotline. My name is Josh; to whom am I speaking?” “Yeah, hi, putz. My name is Ghettoputer Gormogon, and I’m sitting at the Leaping Peacock’s video blackjack machines. I’m about $300 in the hole, here, and I noticed your … Continue reading →
At this point, it is a three-person race. Dr. Ben Carson continues on his book tour, enjoying the limelight but not sure what to do with it. He’s contributing nothing at this point. Gov. John Kasich at this point is … Continue reading →
GorT is an optimist and tends to see the good in people and gives them the benefit of the doubt until such time as evidence presents itself that he should think otherwise. I’m tending to think that the vast majority … Continue reading →
This is a two-fer post from GorT as both topics fall into the subject line. Topic 1: Justice Scalia’s Replacement My personal take on this is that the Senate Republicans screwed up but did nothing illegal or unconstitutional. Specifically, I … Continue reading →
Operative B writes in to encapsulate his annoyance with the Democrats’ execrable reaction to the passing of Justice Scalia. Your Majesty, The latest internet meme about the loss of Antonin Scalia is that we either replace him or we’re in … Continue reading →
Mark Spahn of West Seneca, New York, mused the following; Sleeper possibility: Obama nominates a CAIR/Brotherhood Moslem. After all, Governor Christie has appointed Moslems to the New Jersey bench. Upon confirmation the Moslem justice would take the name Mohammed al-Sharia. … Continue reading →
Well, not literally fallout. That’s from a different kind of physics. But ScottO, troubled minion, has been having no luck getting to sleep due to all this gravity wave talk. Indeed, ever hungry for science that even the Czar can … Continue reading →
A lot of hay has been made recently about the “diversity in Tech” – both for racial minorities and for women. Reporting out on these statistics makes me uneasy (and not for the reason you might think), there is trouble … Continue reading →
Today, mainstream media outlets paused in their breathless coverage of the Zika virus to cover another science story they don’t remotely understand: the confirmation of the existence of gravity waves. You probably don’t understand the importance of this because you’re … Continue reading →
Yesterday, Mark Spahn of West Seneca, New York, asked for the hundredth time where all these American apologists for Islam—particularly Barack Obama—find reference to the Islamic Golden Rule. Greetings from deep inside the deep blue enclave of Chapel Hill. With … Continue reading →
The Czar is not posting a review of Saturday’s Republican debate as he did not see it. He was instead watching the Chicago Blackhawks trounce the Dallas Stars with the star of this video: The video was premiered Saturday evening, … Continue reading →
So National Review’s Kevin D. Williamson wrote an acute piece on some of the continuities between Donald Trump’s supporters and those of Pat Buchanan in 1996 (there’s probably a link to Perot in ’92, but his appeal was more technocratic and … Continue reading →
Back in 2008 and 2009 when the country was all in a tizzy over moving off of the evil incandescent lightbulbs and moving us to use the compact fluorescent lightbulbs (CFLs) to the point that the government banned the manufacturing … Continue reading →
The Czar cannot remember anyone being excited about the Iowa caucuses, given they’re (a) caucuses and (b) in Iowa. But last night’s event was just as much fun as a national election, but doubled. First was the Republican side, which … Continue reading →
Last night, of course, was the 76th Republican debate of the season, made memorable by the moronic decision by Donald Trump to be elsewhere. Under no calculus on earth does this make him look good or offer an advantage. Not … Continue reading →
Your Czar is concerned with your health, and naturally has asked his Czarist Imperial Surgeon’s Office to prepare a bullet point list on how you can best protect yourself against the Zika virus, which is known as the MERS, H1N1A, … Continue reading →
Operative B writes in with a question that interested us, so here it is: O Great One! This lowly minion crawls on your still-threadbare carpeting to beg an answer to a simple question: do people hate Trump because he’s a … Continue reading →
The movie 13 Hours does not mention Hillary Clinton in any way, but viewers are apparently plenty wise whom the movie is about. Liberals aren’t likely to see the movie either way, but you can tell whether they agree with … Continue reading →
Not much can be said about the Democratic debate that hasn’t been ridiculed extensively on social media. The Democrats know it—this is why they schedule debates for times no one will ever watch. Two points, though, came to our attention, … Continue reading →
We’re finally getting to the real debates. Senator Rand Paul and Carly Fiorina are already off the main stage; Gov. Chris Christie, Gov. John Kasich, Gov. Jeb Bush, and Dr. Ben Carson are already moving to the edges and seemed … Continue reading →
North Korea hates being ignored. And with all this talk of war between Saudi Arabia and Iran, with Russian declaring (finally!) that America is a threat to its ridiculous interests, the Norks are getting a little itchy, ya know? A … Continue reading →
GorT is stomping mad (sorry about crushing that small car, Dat Ho). The “national discussion or conversation” around gun issues in this country has devolved into almost purely political rhetoric. Aside from the theatrics that President Obama displayed earlier this … Continue reading →
Mark Spahn, an infidel from West Seneca, New York, spotted a weird little story on another site in which a couple of younger folks stood in a public place and invited passers by to “Ask A Muslim” anything they wanted. … Continue reading →
GorT is going to attempt to weave together a few things today. Over the New Year’s extended weekend, GorT and family saw the movie Joy. I would recommend seeing it – just for the story, if nothing else. It’s not … Continue reading →
In his Morning Jolt of December 28, Jim Geraghty wrote, in the context of populism’s enragés: If you drop out of high school, or only have a high-school education, you will have a difficult time getting ahead in life. That’s … Continue reading →
It’s the end of the year, when journalists take off for two weeks for the holidays, but try to pretend they’re always on the clock by writing, often weeks in advance, their annual top ten lists. See, this way, the … Continue reading →
Most Americans—and by far, most—think Democrats’ current college plans are laughable at best. A few coastal clusters, to be sure, think both Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton have great ideas, but most people are just shaking their heads and wondering … Continue reading →
The Czar likes to post movie reviews on their actual opening weekends, just in case our loyal readers are sorta on the fence about seeing the movie. Of course, this review is for Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and the … Continue reading →
Operative JTS writes in after a couple of years—he’s been on a project to travel every road less taken in order to end the nonsense of inequality—to say, well, hello: It has been a while and to be frank, I … Continue reading →
Kind of a weird debate last night. First, a quick rundown of the participants from house left to right. Gov. John Kasich. By now, you’ve heard about his weird hand gestures all night, and yes—they were the subject of much … Continue reading →
You haven’t heard of Lincolnshire, Illinois, and likely don’t care to know much about it. It’s a nice, northern suburb of Chicago, with nice homes, good schools, and a Jewish population so large its residents kiddingly refer to it as … Continue reading →
Fish has long been a trendy food item. Five years ago, they were giving monkfish away as an unpopular entrée; today—due to its sudden popularity in Europe and other places—it’s now selling for $12 a pound. In a few more … Continue reading →
The Czar has kids, like many of you and all of the Gormogons (many of whom admit it, too). Many readers of a certain age recall well their grade school days, and will likely remember the handful of days spent … Continue reading →
Operative B has been thinking about firearms. O Fearsome One, This lowly minion was discussing the attack in San Bernardino online and in a Facebook thread (yes, I know: self-flagellation would be more productive) and was making progress helping an … Continue reading →
Mass shootings are awful. Politicized mass shootings are worse. The New York Times editorializing on politicized mass shootings is worst of all. ‘Puter awakened this morning, dreading opening the New York Times, knowing full well the hallucinogen induced alternate reality … Continue reading →
Mark Spahn, known to lurk about West Seneca, New York—and not that execrable East Seneca, New York—is well aware that your Gormogons are instantly violent in the presence of Esperanto speakers, and indeed our dungeons are filled with several of … Continue reading →
Speaking of GorT, he did the Czar a really big favor recently. Stuck for a vacation spot, the Czar complained that all the good places really worth taking the kids to were pretty much not all that great anymore. “Well, … Continue reading →
GorT, like most of the rest of the Gormogons, enjoys cooking (meaning: grilling, smoking, and so forth). Several of us have shared recipes and tips in the past, but to my recollection, we haven’t discussed our choices for Thanksgiving. Mrs. … Continue reading →
“Settled Science” – if it isn’t a term of ridicule, it should be. Anyone who claims that with regards to Anthropogenic Global Warming or more broadly, climate change is a fool and likely failed high school level science. Stay with … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s had it with the effete, gelded liberals currently running the country, whether in the Obama Administration, in the media, or on college campuses. Not content to have destroyed America’s universities, these self-important know nothings have set out to ruin … Continue reading →
From JAB. Hey there — just wondering if y’all in the Castle are paying attention to the shenanigans going on in some of this nation’s finest institutions of higher education? [Hint- nothing to do with imparting knowledge.] In brief: Yale … Continue reading →
ScottO writes in regarding this recent post: Most Estimable GorTechie, While reading your post “Convenient Settled Science”, when I got to your question of how the action advocates know the earth isn’t coming out of the last ice age, I … Continue reading →
The Czar has been pretty well out of it lately. Sure, there was a time change—for you, you gain and hour of sleep and the worst that happens is you get hungry an hour earlier. When a Gormogon goes through … Continue reading →
Operative B has some good observations here: Your Majesty, The latest enemy of both Hillary and Bernie is – the “big banks”. They want to take them down, tear them apart, rid them of profits. And they want to do … Continue reading →
Today marks the 200th birthday of George Boole. Who? George Boole was an English professor and researcher who, while teaching at Queen’s College in Cork, Ireland (now University College Cork), set forth the underpinnings for what we refer to now … Continue reading →
If you totally missed the debates last night and were only skimming news about them today—or, one supposes, you did see the debates and were skimming headlines anyway—you would be forgiven for thinking nothing happened on the debates except for … Continue reading →
Operative B wants to clarify his comments in regard to a recent exchange the two of us had on the nature of Republicans, and whether they were more like Democrats than people realize. The Czar takes the opinion that modern … Continue reading →
‘Puter hasn’t written much lately. He’s been awfully busy at work. But ‘Puter’s always thinking. It’s what he does best. Or, at least, what he does least poorly. Hillary, Benghazi, and Republican Idiocy Hillary “won” the Benghazi Committee hearing by … Continue reading →
Operative B wrote into the Czar with a question he’s seen in a few places, really: what the hell is wrong with the GOP? More specifically, he wants to know what happened to defunding Planned Parenthood? Or the EPA? What … Continue reading →
Castle visitors can be all ready for the holidays with our brand new selection of Christmas wraiths. Welcome your holiday visitors into your home by decorating your doors with any of these lovelies! Be bold! The PhantomWarning looks completely solid, but lacks … Continue reading →
The Czar has been quite behind in his email, and hasn’t been able to get to all of it. He does mostly read it, though. Here are some that stood out. From Operative B: Your Greatness, It occurs to this … Continue reading →
As loyal readers know, the Czar does unpleasant things so you don’t have to, such as watching political debates. And while the Czar is traditionally pretty brutal to the Republican candidates after a debate, he is certain to include the … Continue reading →
GorT is fairly fed up with the news and much of what he reads on social media. The composite picture of a republican or conservative in this country as portrayed by the combination of social and traditional media, to include … Continue reading →
About 4:00 in the morning of June 25, 1950, ten North Korean divisions poured down into South Korea, overwhelming local forces and American troops in short order. Within four hours, the South Korean government called the United States, pleading for … Continue reading →
At long last, police superintendent Garry McCarthy is facing significant heat for the ridiculous crime rate in the city of Chicago, with numerous high-ranking city voices calling out loudly for his firing. Is CPD Supt McCarthy as incompetent as his … Continue reading →
Due to the installation of newer carpeting in the Castle Gormogon’s Human Resources department, please be advised that from October 6—October 10, all Gormogon human resources matters will be conducted from our Alternate Secret Headquarters of Doom location, at Westmoreland … Continue reading →
Operative B writes in with some salience about the carpet in here. He also mentions some other things. O Dread One! This lowly minion comes before you on hands and knees (by the way, you need new carpeting in front … Continue reading →
Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com
Continue reading →I have to admit that this week has been inspiring. My Facebook feed hasn’t been filled with garbage – only positive stories and experiences. I’m sure between John Boehner’s resignation, more Clinton emails being released, and something that Trump did … Continue reading →
The Czar had this unsigned message hurled into the head of a Tcho-Tcho, as a brick carefully tied to a piece of paper. More curiously, the note was scrawled onto the brick; the paper was blank. Perhaps an atavistic envelope? … Continue reading →
