The Czar regrets his recent absence on the site, but he has been traveling for hundreds of miles, and dealing with sickness. Unfortunately, both these instances happened at the same time when the Царевич brought home something (curse you, school … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s dutifully followed along with his liberal friends’ untethered ramblings concerning Indiana’s Religious Freedom Restoration law. ‘Puter’s friends thoughtfully referred to the new statute as “anti-gay.” a Not content to merely exist in a state of ignorant bliss, ‘Puter’s friends … Continue reading →
The Czar has always been fascinated by really deep, scary underwater places like the bottom of the ocean, or like…well, that’s pretty much it. Millions of us have wondered about, like James Cameron. Although, to be fair, he built his … Continue reading →
Operative BJ sent in a couple of thoughts that warranted public reply. Here’s the first one, designed to cheer you up. Unless it depresses you, that is. Your Gracious Majesty, As I grow older and my hair turns grayer, I … Continue reading →
‘Puter took Mrs. ‘Puter to a play this weekend at Geva Theatre (sic) Center. We’re season subscribers because we’re all cultured and fancy like that. ‘Puter and wife attend these shows with a group of three couples, including them. Among … Continue reading →
Today marks the start of Daylight Saving Time, and it’s time for the Czar to obey his annual tradition: reminding Dr. J. that it’s Daylight Saving Time, not Daylight Savings & Loan time. With that out of the way, the … Continue reading →
A bit of newer music than you’re used to from the Czar; it’s The Heavy, with “The Lonesome Road.” The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the … Continue reading →
‘Puter promised to provide his proposals to reform teacher evaluations. Yeah, ‘Puter knows he’s a day late with the proposals, but too danged bad. You’re getting the benefit of ‘Puter’s awesome wisdom for free.* ‘Puter’s dissected the stubborn stupidity of … Continue reading →
‘Puter promised a response to the local teachers union president’s response to the Democrat and Chronicle’s responsive editorial to the teachers’ union led rally held in response to Gov. Cuomo’s proposed education reforms. Got all that? As promised, here goes. … Continue reading →
Last week, my tiny, local school district (with a $114,018,788.00 annual budget) held a rally to protest Gov. Cuomo’s education reform proposals which include tying teacher evaluations to student test scores. Student test scores will count for between 40% and … Continue reading →
Well, here it is the First of March, and it feels as if yesterday was only the 28th of February. The Czar dislikes February for one reason: as the shortest month, you get the lest value from monthly services and … Continue reading →
People seem surprised that the English-accented beheader previously dubbed “Jihadi John” is an educated guy, a computer-programming major from a British university. You, long-time readers of the Gormogons, are of course not in the least. First, you know the Muslim Brotherhood … Continue reading →
The Chicago primaries were yesterday, with a couple of interesting outcomes. One is fascinating the nation, justifiably. The other is no less important, but is missing from most radar screens. First and foremost, incumbent mayor Rahm Emanuel—chief of staff under … Continue reading →
Did you watch the AKC dog show last night? The Czar and his family did! This was the 139th annual dog show, based on the age of the judges. What a great event to watch, as a bunch of matronly … Continue reading →
Operative BJ worries: Your Magnificence, This lowly one comes before you to ask a simple question: should Americans be required to have a single federal government-issued identification number that, when stolen or misused, can destroy their lives? The federal government … Continue reading →
With Boston buried under thirty-feet of snow and volcanic ash, and New York not far behind, the Czar has already spotted the increasingly useless media interrupting soft-promos for shows on their respective networks and Democratic-party talking points with bizarre attempts … Continue reading →
Apparently, the 2016 NASA budget involves sending a probe to the Galilean moon of Europa. Because of its frozen oceans, it has been speculated that organic material maybe present, and by extension, the conditions for (unintelligent) life to exist, and … Continue reading →
‘Puter read with interest this letter to the editor, published in the Albany Times-Union yesterday. In it, seven past New York State Teachers of the Year address Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s proposed education reforms. One would think that New York State … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s boss is one of the sharpest men (in all senses) ‘Puter has ever known. He is savvy, tough, sharp-elbowed, thorough, driven and demanding. He is also introspective, merciful and kind. ‘Puter’s boss is also a registered Democrat.* Imagine ‘Puter’s … Continue reading →
All right—long-time readers here knew this was coming. And from whom. This story is slowly climbing its way to the top, so the Czar will not go into too much detail. However, for the sake of due diligence, know that … Continue reading →
Your Majesty, Gasoline is down to $2.00/gal in some places, and drivers are finally able to afford to drive to work. But the price could soon go up, and it won’t be because oil is scarce. As it turns out, … Continue reading →
The Czar likes the country of Chile since he first thought about it ten minutes ago. The Czar personally pronounces it “chee-lay,” although you can also pronounce it like the ground beef and bean food if you think that’s not … Continue reading →
The Czar was puttering through our awesome Twitter feed (which you should join and follow anon, if thou hast not done so hence), and spotted this eye-catching question from, of all groups, the New York Times: “How Did Politics Get … Continue reading →
Yesterday was the anniversary of the Apollo One tragedy. On January 27, 1967, three astronauts: Virgil “Gus” Grissom, Ed White and Roger Chaffee perished on the launchpad in the capsule during a launch rehearsal. A fire broke out and swept … Continue reading →
As most of you know, the Czar was born in the last third of the 13th Century, and had the fortune to meet many people who either were famous or soon became famous. Many of these people were fun and … Continue reading →
‘Puter watched part of President Obama’s State of the Union address last night. Upon seeing Mr. Obama wink knowingly at the assembled Congress, ‘Puter turned off the television. Obama has no respect for the dignity of the office he occupies. … Continue reading →
Jim Geraghty makes two good, not-mutually-exclusive suppositions about what’s motivating the likes of Michael Moore and Seth Rogan to deride the phenomenally successful and apparently very well-made Chris Kyle bio pic, American Sniper (Clint Eastwood, dir., 2014). I’d like to add … Continue reading →
Money is a curious thing, and even though the Czar is, modestly, what one might consider “galactically financially independent,” he still worries about cutting corners like the rest of you. For example, many domestic caviars are now just as good … Continue reading →
The Czar seems to have missed this story. IRS Commissioner Koskinen is complaining that the IRS may not have the staff necessary to process paper tax returns, and that some tax filers may have to wait for extended periods of … Continue reading →
America is the best country in the world. Just ask an American. We’ll tell you. But America’s currently doing its darndest to squander more than two centuries of exceptionalism. It’s not America’s nearly embarrassing wealth that makes America great. Nor … Continue reading →
Everything with Democrats is war. If it isn’t a war on fear, it’s a war on poverty, or a war on blacks. Frankly, we’re all a bit tired of it. The problem for Democrats is that they’ve run out of … Continue reading →
Operative BJ swung by the Castle lobby bar earlier this week and gave the Czar some of his thoughts on something the Czar has, coincidentally, been giving some thought independently. The Czar has sobered out enough to remember them. As … Continue reading →
Well, boys and girls, the Czar has been dealing with a stiff neck and a lot of stuff in and around Muscovy. He’s gotten some interesting mail, too, which sadly is still fit to place in the realm of recent … Continue reading →
Ever attend a really swag-time event, like a nurse’s cap ceremony or a fraternity initiation, or ever walk into the ladies room by mistake, and fall in love with the wonderful harp music filling the air? Bet you have, and … Continue reading →
Happy new year, everyone! The Czar had such a miserable 2014 that he actually looks forward to being a year older, just to get further away from the mess that was last year. 2015 will be, by comparison, a much … Continue reading →
‘Puter promised there’d be a Part II to his exegetical study of the New York Times lead editorial When New York City Police Walk Off the Job. In Part I, ‘Puter roundly denounced the NYPD for their not-so-sub-rosa strike.* In … Continue reading →
‘Puter read with amazement and contempt today’s lead editorial from our intellectual betters at the New York Times. Titled When New York City Police Walk Off the Job, the editors explain why hating police officers is a just and rational … Continue reading →
By now, everybody should be familiar with JournoList, a social media group of leading left-wing journalists who effectively conspired to control the narrative of news; they had over 400 members (founder Ezra Klien claimed the actual number was almost twice … Continue reading →
Two related emails arrived just before Christmas, so it’s time to get them out there. The first is from Operative BJ, writing from an undisclosed location (probably his smoke house), and the second from Island Dweller. Your Majesty, This one … Continue reading →
This (and this) is why middle class Americans can’t have nice things. “But ‘Puter, why should we care about consumer mortgage servicing companies? They’re the rat bastards Sen. Pocahontas Warren wants to shut down for being meanies who make us … Continue reading →
Merry Christmas, everyone. Today is a day meant for sharing with family and friends, gathering around the tree or the table, and remembering the glorious traditions of your respective religion. Which is why you are on the internet, reading this … Continue reading →
At the very least, you can bet that Mark Spahn (did you know he hails from West Seneca, new York? We did!) stimulates no end of discussion among the Gormogonorati. A couple days back, he asked the Czar about the … Continue reading →
The Czar enjoys receiving messages from Mark Spahn, of West Seneca, New York, because they invariably start in medias res. Ponder the meter of the lyrics of these two songs: I want a hippopotamus for Christmas, only a hippopotamus will … Continue reading →
It’s a well-known fact in technology circles that all i-devices, like the iPhone, iPad, iPod, and PudThaI, are virtually identical devices that all do exactly the same things and have precisely the same parts in size. it’s also true that … Continue reading →
Progressives: A Very Brief History Any time you start with a serious attempt at reform, somebody comes along and hijacks it toward Leftism. Oh yeah, you can name a whole bunch of things today. Like Ferguson: a few folks get … Continue reading →
Operative TexasAggie (who is obviously some sort of Longhorns fan with a perverse sense of destiny and ritualized self-humiliation), asks an interesting but easily answered question: So far what I’ve read about the Sony hacks from all my favorite internet … Continue reading →
Preserving old furniture is something everybody does, even that weird old guy who lives a few doors down from you and likes to stand out in his driveway every morning wearing sweat pants and a soiled tee shirt, sipping his … Continue reading →
Well, the Czar needs to get these out of his inbox and up for the readership before they get any more out of date: Oh great and esteemed The Czar. Your humble minion on the plains believes that no CIA … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s watched in recent weeks as Democrats repeat falsehoods as truths. ‘Puter’s not sure if Democrats even realize they’re doing it. Democrats may be in denial after their recent midterm drubbing, repeating cherished falsehoods incessantly in a vain attempt to … Continue reading →
The Czar left the Castle day room, mildly bothered by the smell of Dr. J. using Force Lightning to raise the thermostat and Leng clouds brought a chill on the moor. Yes, we now have a moor; Volgi put one … Continue reading →
GorT was at an event recently where the POTUS spoke. The crowd was largely in their early 20s and lapped it up. Sure, there is probably a large degree of star-struckness of being in the same room as the President … Continue reading →
Letters, letters. The Czar is like a magnet for these things, and wonders whether his Castle Colleagues are as sufficiently bugged. But then, the Czar suspects the responses would be something along these lines: Fan: Just a quick note to … Continue reading →
Almost a year ago, Operative BJ and the Czar had a quiet discussion about duty and service, when he volunteered this story about his father. The Czar asked permission to retell it on his dad’s birthday. Here it is, and … Continue reading →
Mr. Satan Santa Claus The Claus Haus North Pole (and not the stripper kind) Arctic Ocean, Some Country 3.1415 Dear Satan Santa, ‘Puter has been really, really, extra-special good this year. ‘Puter feeds Sleestak nearly every other week, often before … Continue reading →
Hoping this day finds you better off than you were yesterday (but realistically, probably not), the Czar has decided to clean out some more of his mailbag. Here is something from Island Dweller: Most illustrious majesty: After following the latest, … Continue reading →
New York Democrats and their public sector union cronies hector us relentlessly, screeching “the rich”* should pay their “fair share.”** ‘Puter sat down and did himself some thinking on the topic. ‘Puter decided he hates hypocrites, and that he hates … Continue reading →
Your Gormogons have been consulted on what to do with those containers of Thanksgiving Day leftovers. Save this as a handy guide for next year by attaching your computer monitor to the refrigerator with a magnet and leaving it plugged … Continue reading →
The Czar usually gets stuck with the annual Thanksgiving Day message to you all. So today, he will toast you and yours with warm greeting. Literally: Sleestak has brought the Czar a variety of nice bourbons and a glass. Our … Continue reading →
The Czar is slightly hung-over today: nowhere near enough sleep, and too many ultra-lime-HD margaritas at the Leaping Peacock with ‘Puter last night. We found him this morning in his usual spot: passed out in a sitting position, leaning against … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin went to the range today and fired a variety of plasma, x-ray, and conventional propellant-based weapons. However, there are two firearms your Mandarin decided on a whim to try out, and he thought a review was in short … Continue reading →
The Czar was away in the enchanted community of Three Drunk Indians #6, Michigan, planning for our world domination. You would be amazed at how critical that hamlet shall prove to be in the next few years, and why the … Continue reading →
What follows is a piece on immigration reform ‘Puter wrote way back on 31 January 2014. ‘Puter thinks it has held up well, particularly those portions detailing ‘Puter’s immigration reform package. Read on, and enjoy. Conservatives are uptight, and rightly … Continue reading →
‘Puter spends a lot of time thinking. ‘Puter should spend more time writing about his thoughts, as writing helps him better order his mind. So, in a likely vain attempt to order his chaos, here goes. Immigration: Obama will act … Continue reading →
Having caught Christopher Nolan’s very worthy Interstellar last week, I’m interested to see that a lot of the (very good) discussion of the film’s effectiveness is taken in terms of the accuracy and faithfulness of its science. Perhaps because I’m not … Continue reading →
The Czar had the wonderful luck to spend a few, warm minutes with Illinois State Senator Chris Nybo yesterday evening, where we were able to congratulate him on his dominating election win, and he amazed the Czar by recalling specific … Continue reading →
The Czar answers all your questions on the comet landing. We apologize if this gets slightly technical for the average reader, but bear with us. Did we land on a comet or just crash into it and are calling it … Continue reading →
Operative BJ lobbed in a couple of questions to us. Here’s one: Your Wise, Patient, and Truthful Majesty, It appears that actions by another of your minion, Agent Gruber, have been discovered. Unfortunately – mainly for him – several of … Continue reading →
Now that the Midterm Elections are over, we can finally start wasting time wondering about 2016 Presidential candidates. The Czar has previously said the Democrats are tapped out, and basically have no choice but to run Hillary Clinton. Joe Biden … Continue reading →
The numerical extent of the Republican victories caught most of us by surprise, but the inevitability of it should catch none of our readers unawares. The Czar has been warning that the Democrat party is built on balloons for some … Continue reading →
Democrats are delusional. After suffering an historic drubbing in the midterms, leading Democrats have completely broken with reality. Witness the New York Times editorial board psychosis. With near historic Republican majorities in the House and the Senate, the editors urge … Continue reading →
Just when the Czar is looking for a way to discuss a topic, Operative BJ sends him a note on the very thing. O Mighty One! This lowly one was listening to a post-game review of Obama’s press conference from … Continue reading →
GorT works in the tech industry (surprised?) and this topic comes up periodically. It usually goes something like this: there is a lack of representation of (insert sub-group of population here) and companies are evil because they aren’t doing enough … Continue reading →
Scattered thoughts on yesterday’s election results: Scott Walker is a bona fide leader who gets it done. Each time he wins, he does so by bigger numbers. Wisconsin is sold on him, and let’s face it: he enjoys bigger support … Continue reading →
Operative BJ writes in with a then-timely but just-barely-by-the-time-we-got-to-it letter: Your Fearsomeness, I’m sure you were aware of the debate between Brown and Shaheen in New Hampshire last Thursday, and how there was (yet another) “Crowley Moment®” during a major … Continue reading →
At coffee, this morning, Dr. J. asked his fellow Gormogons their predictions for election day: GorT chimed in first: “I think the Republicans will pick up about seven seats in the Senate putting them at 52. I think the GOP … Continue reading →
Awesome Operative SW writes in about political ads, just before Election Day: I actually saw a useful political ad here in Montana the other day. The office was for State Supreme Court Justice, a position which is allegedly non-partisan. Once … Continue reading →
The Czar will posit, straight up, that the more educated you are, the less you like political ads. The Czar is willing to bet you loathe them but that’s a safe bet. In fact, the Czar is willing to assume … Continue reading →
The Czar, like you, was all excited by last week’s solar eclipse in the Midwest, which—if you missed it—looked like this for nearly everyone: An eclipse, as you know, is when the moon moves in front of the Earth and … Continue reading →
The case for the conservative political philosophy was never made better than by then actor and former SAG president, Ronald Wilson Reagan: Given how far afield we’ve wandered since 2008, let alone 1981, it’s good for us to have a reminder … Continue reading →
Dr. J. updated his computers to Yosemite (aka 10.10) the other day and was admiring the default wallpaper on his desktop computer from across the room. There was a profile in the side of the mountain. Not only that, the … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s hopping mad. Well, either that or he’s hopping because his intestines are trying to crawl out of his bunghole after chugging an entire 18 ounce jar of Huy Fong chili garlic sauce* on a dare from Czar. ‘Puter made … Continue reading →
Hello, children. Hello. The Mandarin knows many of you like ‘Puter here on this site as well as on the Twitter machine, and wondered if you all had any idea what he’s really like outside of the Castle. So your … Continue reading →
The Czar has discovered some emails floating in his networked world that should have seen the light of day earlier, and so he apologizes that some of these may not be topical by this point. First up, Boneman writes in, … Continue reading →
Probably a good many of our readers never heard the name Julius Fučik, even though the Czar is certain you can hum every note to the first third of his military battle march “Entry of the Gladiators,: (Vjezd Gladiátorů, although … Continue reading →
Houston has subpœnaed a bunch of pastors’ sermons in the name of “non-discrimination.” Confucius* holds no particular brief for these pastors or whatever they might preach, but finds it more than a little troubling that enough government employees considered it … Continue reading →
It’s a little-known fact, but according to the Gormogons’ by-laws, no more than four Gormogons can ever be in the same place at the same time except while on Castle grounds. At least that’s what ‘Puter recalls the by-laws say, … Continue reading →
Today, we have three letters worthy of reply, or as any of the six remaining speakers of Esperanto might say (and rightfully so): «Mi parolas la stulta bastardo langugage de Esperanto.» First up, Operative DH has a thought about distaffing … Continue reading →
The Czar is pleased to have hosted the 2014 Gormogonicon party at his dacha. The dacha was colorfully decorated for this year’s theme, which was Booze and Chews (which narrowly beat out Hug and Chug). Mr. and Mrs. Mandarin, plus … Continue reading →
Operative BJ has been thinking a lot about the way things are worded in today’s world. And with darn good reason. For example, he’s been toying with the idea of same sex marriage. No, wait—that came out wrong. He’s been … Continue reading →
Wal-Mart announced this week that it will be raising health insurance premiums for its employees and will end providing health insurance for part-time employees (those working under 30 hours per week). It probably isn’t news to anyone that the liberals … Continue reading →
Your Czar is concerned with your health, and naturally has asked his Czarist Imperial Surgeon’s Office to prepare a bullet point list on how you can best protect yourself against the Ebola, which is known as H1N1A, or more commonly, … Continue reading →
Island Dweller reminds us of the valuable word distaff: Your immenseness: I have been ruminating on something my esteemed associate Esteemed Associate said recently when we were having one of our semi-weekly discussions re: current events. He was struck by … Continue reading →
In today’s Washington Post, E.J. Dionne speaks truth to power in his latest unicorn fart powered, fact-free screed. Wait. Maybe Mr. Dionne’s speaking truth for power. Nope, that’s sort of it, but not exactly. Got it! Mr. Dionne’s speaking lies … Continue reading →
Operative BJ is a hammer who knows what to do when he sees a nail: Oh Mighty One, This worthless minion grovels before you to say that all this “political correctness” and “sensitivity training” stuff is getting mighty tiresome. So, … Continue reading →
If you can’t win an election, run unopposed, right? President Obama was blessed not having to face legitimate opposition in his state senate or his senate runs because of untimely information released about his opponents sticky divorces (are there any … Continue reading →
The Czar found this note tied to the leg of an otherwise lame duck. Your Omniscience: Yesterday while transiting an interstate highway (part of the glorious legacy of the administration of President Dwight D. Eisenhower) I was unfortunate enough to … Continue reading →
Please allow ‘Puter to introduce himself, he’s a man of wealth and taste.* Actually, ‘Puter’s a simple Upstate New York lawyer, unaccustomed to your big city ways. And if you believe ‘Puter’s a naïf, he’s got a bridge in Brooklyn … Continue reading →
You know, the Czar had a couple of other thoughts on the subject of teachers getting “too much time off,” but did not include them in his original essay due to an interesting combination of judicious editing and just plaing … Continue reading →
A short time ago, the Czar overheard a guy at the archery range bemoaning the state of American education (and well he should). However, one comment caught the Czar’s ear: we could solve all the problems in American education, and … Continue reading →
