A middle school principal in Ipswich, Massachusetts, has elected to cancel the honors students’s induction ceremony because it makes the other kids—who didn’t get good grades—feel bad. No, of course this is real. Instead, they will be honored during an … Continue reading →
Today, Muscovy is trimming the Village Christmas trees. This event is always accompanied by a craft show. The Czar does not understand craft shows: they seem to be filled with desperate, frustrated people with equal mixes of time and talent … Continue reading →
He finally did. President Obama, during his El Salvador junket: And that’s why building this international coalition has been so important, because it means that the United States is not bearing all the cost. It means that we have confidence … Continue reading →
[The Czar made the mistake of drinking a few pints of mead and Fanta with Ghettoputer at the Castle lobby lounge bar, and initially we asked ‘Puter what his actual name is. He replied that the story is fairly interesting, … Continue reading →
This is great work. A collection of bizarre scenes, colorful locations, and just freaking weirdness captured by Google’s Street View car. The Czar was able to positively identify one of these locations, and went to StreetView to see if the … Continue reading →
The Czar lived in a Marvel Comics household. In retrospect, it was a good call. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in … Continue reading →
It’s not a new ABC reality show. It’s instead an all too real result of an unfortunate drunken brawl in Las Cruces, New Mexico. A guy, his wife and his mother get rip-roaring drunk, and — unexpectedly! — a 3:00 … Continue reading →
Where on earth do you go with this one? Let us see if we understand what happened. Harvey decides to sell his riding lawnmower. Two drunk guys, Troy and James, show up and offer to pay Harvey $250. Harvey asks … Continue reading →
Okay, so it turns out that photographer Mark Pain was covering the Ryder Cup, and managed—by pure luck—to take a picture a split-second before Tiger Woods hit him with a golf ball. The picture is here. Cool, eh? Okay, but … Continue reading →
You probably get seven or eight of those coupon packets in your mailbox every other day, like the Czar does. The Czar recently returned to his Muscovy home, having been living out of the Castle for the last several weeks, … Continue reading →
With only 127 days to go before we ring in the New Year, here is a little cautionary tale as to why firearms and alcohol don’t mix. Come to think of it Your Mandarin has had an awful headache ever … Continue reading →
So big the Chinese are making CGI simulations of different theories of his car accident. Don’t let people tell you being a celebrity is fun. Also, CGI Tiger apparently drives a pretty beat minivan instead of a (doubtless comped) 2009 … Continue reading →
…these crappy bootlegs back to the Castle. Oddly, we have two copies of this one, but upon inspection, the other one comes from Ghettoputer’s “special” collection, and the Gormogons aren’t about to risk prosecution in many countries (and civil suits … Continue reading →
The Czar goes through his mail. The almighty Borepatch writes in to say: 😉 (Doesn’t this make you glad you don’t have comments?) Heck, BP, the Czar would welcome comments like that all day long. Trust all is well. Meanwhile, … Continue reading →
How badly can the current administration screw things up? Only 10 months after becoming the radically pro-environmental green-the-world carbon crediting, cap’n’trade president, Barack Obama has reduced the United States to environmental moron status, and China is the country we all … Continue reading →
What the heck is Patriot Day? Is this some Hallmark holiday to supplement July 4th? Or have I just missed this for the past several decades? Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com
Continue reading →Not for nothing, but who knew JC Penney had $1,000,000.00 worth of jewelry to steal? And a gang of jewel thieves preying exclusively on JCP? Usually when ‘Puter goes shopping for Mrs. ‘Puter’s anniversary gift at the JCP jewelry counter, … Continue reading →
Blake, who represents our interests in Texas, writes the Czar to say: If Obama is okaying the dropping of the public option, and Dean says anyone who doesn’t support the public option needs to be primaried from the left, then … Continue reading →
Jimmy Orr of the Christian Science Monitor finds the perfect analogy to describe John McCain’s reaction to how the media has been treating Sarah Palin: It’s just like the old Huey Lewis song from “Back to the Future” where the … Continue reading →
Wow. In addition to having a website, the Taliban now have a playbook, laying down rules for their military code of conduct. Curiously, it reads very much like an American guide to military operations in civilian populations: be polite, do … Continue reading →
ABC News, the official press agency of the White House, has a story that the government is spending $18 Million of the “stimulus” money towards revamping the White House’s stimulus money tracking website. The very same one that Joe Biden … Continue reading →
According to the Taliban’s website, they have indeed captured an American soldier, although the DoD is concerned that the website provides no details on his condition. Wait, the Taliban has a website? Bet somebody at the InterNIC is sorry he … Continue reading →
˙ʇɥƃıɹ ɟləsɹnoʎ əʌoɹd oʇ qoɾ ɹnoʎ ʇnq ‘ƃuoɹʍ noʎ əʌoɹd oʇ qoɾ sıɥ s,ʇı ˙ʇɥƃıɹ sı sʇnu əɹ,noʎ noʎ ƃuılləʇ ʎnƃ ʇɐɥʇ əqʎɐɯ ʇɐɥʇ ɹəpısuoɔ oʇ pıɐɹɟɐ əq ʇ,uop ʇnq ˙ʇı oʇ ʞɔıʇs uəɥʇ puɐ ‘puıɯ uʍo ɹnoʎ dn əʞɐɯ … Continue reading →
FoxNews reports that there’s fox news. Seem over Wooster-way, a fox attacked a 76 year old woman so savagely that a police officer was forced to shoot them both. Or maybe he shot just the fox: the story is a … Continue reading →
Your Volgi mocks the Czar, quite openly. One ingenious way he does it: he sends the Czar stories like this, in which a guy who has become an incredibly minor internet phenom for dressing something like a Tron character—except that … Continue reading →
The Czar thought it was creepy a while back when Natalie Cole did a duet with her late father. You know what could be an even weirder duet? Buzz Aldrin and Snoop Dog. If you have the sort of mind … Continue reading →
Reuters, in a rare display of good news taste, has a short story about a fox that evidently stole more than 100 shoes from residents of the town of Foehren. Apparently, her kits like to play with shoes, so the … Continue reading →
The Czar is starting to think that DoE Sec Steven Chu may not be the, um, intellectual giant he was presented as. Heard this one? The way to combat the Eeeeevil Global Warming is to paint your roof white. Yeah, … Continue reading →
The Czar read read this story twice just to make sure it wasn’t the Mandarin. ‘Cuz it sure sounds like him. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born … Continue reading →
Yeah, well, your first clue should have been the ridiculously low £20 fee. Details here. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in … Continue reading →
The Mandarin spots this on today’s Chicago Tribune website (it may be corrected as you read this; full story here). Regarding The Case Against Drew Peterson is the abstract (and your Mandarin quotes exactly): The prosecution says Peterson’s alleged victim … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s coming back into work from lunch this afternoon, and what does he behold, but a bike chained to a tree with the anchor chain from the U.S.S. Enterprise (and not the “fun, watchable” Enterprise). See attached photo. The bike … Continue reading →
The Czar needed help with this one. Read this AP release first. The Czar did, and wondered what the hell this was about. The French government wants to shut down internet access to people who repeatedly steal copyrighted material? Good … Continue reading →
Stop reading about Obama being snake bit by Fidel Castro, or increased Russification of free European countries, or impending strikes against Iranian nuclear facilities. In fact, stop thinking about anything. Stop it. The media has decided you need to know … Continue reading →
Keep sticking it to the UN! The State Department has correctly elected to boycott a UN conference on racism, basically because the UN has no clue what racism is. The Czar says right on! About time they got something right. … Continue reading →
Thanks, Fox! Now there’s hope for ‘Puter and all his tubby friends. What could possibly go wrong with a show that’s set up to make fun of fat people trying to get lucky? ‘Puter’s pitching a proposal for a Bachelor … Continue reading →
Seriously, do you have any idea how cheap drywall is? Does one really need to save money by using Chinese imported gypsum wallboard? Evidently, it contains mystical abilities to destroy copper wiring from a distance, smells like sulfuric dioxide, and … Continue reading →
Well, here’s a major screw up. POTUS Obama, under whose advisement the Czar cannot begin to imagine, thought the following would be a great idea: announce that you are, in effect, pulling federal funding of injured veterans (yes, veterans) who … Continue reading →
POTUS Obama has reacted to the wild uptick in Mexican violence, in which over 7,000 people have been killed, by apparently taking responsibility for it. “The drugs are coming north; we’re sending funds and guns south—and as a consequence, these … Continue reading →
Why didn’t you tell us, man? Via Film Drunk. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com
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