{"id":14346,"date":"2018-09-28T09:14:57","date_gmt":"2018-09-28T13:14:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/?p=14346"},"modified":"2018-09-28T09:14:57","modified_gmt":"2018-09-28T13:14:57","slug":"the-wreck-of-the-kavanaugh-hearings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gormogons.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/the-wreck-of-the-kavanaugh-hearings\/","title":{"rendered":"The Wreck of the Kavanaugh Hearings"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"

Democrat Senators wait their turn to question Judge Kavanaugh in yesterday’s Judiciary Committee hearing on his nomination to the Supreme Court.<\/p><\/div>\n

‘Puter listened to and watched the Senate Judiciary hearings on Judge Kavanaugh’s nomination yesterday. ‘Puter has many thoughts regarding the hearings, so naturally, instead of writing a coherent essay on them, ‘Puter disjointedly set them to music.<\/p>\n

Enjoy! And if you don’t enjoy, suck it, you humorless assclowns.<\/p>\n

*starts singing*<\/p>\n

The legend lives on from the Democrats on down
\nOf the lost vote they called Merrick Garland!
\nMcConnell, it\u2019s said, killed the nominee dead
\nNo vote in committee he\u2019d scheduled!
\nWith a load of bullshit all the pundits deemed it
\nAn affront to the Senate\u2019s good order!
\nThe good judge and Dems took it in their rear ends,
\nWhen the bet of McConnell paid div\u2019dends!<\/p>\n

With Hillary the pride of the Democrat side
\n(Though she couldn\u2019t find a state called Wisconsin)
\nBut the Democrats knew there\u2019s no way she could lose
\nTo an orange-faced abuser of women!
\nElection night came and put Hillary to shame
\nShe had lost to the orange-faced boob from The City!
\nAnd later that night, the wine bottles drained,
\nCould it be Garland\u2019s fate was determined?<\/p>\n

The wailing of press and the pundit\u2019s sweet tears,
\nAnd Trump was sworn in \u2018midst moaning.
\nEvery Dem knew, and Republicans too,
\nT\u2019was the Garland nomination\u2019s death knell!
\nSo Garland got pulled and Neil Gorsuch subbed in,
\nMitch\u2019s gamble had come to fruition!
\nThe Dems spent their days in impotent rage,
\nAnd vowed their payback\u2019d be brutal!<\/p>\n

The Grim Reaper came calling Scalia by name,
\nDemocrats girded for battle.
\nFrom the Federalist\u2019s strong list Trump would make his next pick,
\nAnnouncing Judge Brett Kavanaugh!
\nChuck Schumer declared that the Dems did not care,
\nThere was no way the Dems would confirm him!
\nDiFi found and she hid allegations that did
\nCause the wreck of the Kavanaugh Hearings.<\/p>\n

Does anyone know where the love of God goes
\nWhen the Dems turn the hearings to shitshows?
\nThe pundits all claim Kavanaugh’d clear his good name,
\nIf he’d ask for an FBI recheck!
\nBut Graham he stood up, said enough is enough,
\nAnd Graham told Republicans hold tough.
\nAnd all that remains is the everlasting shame,
\nOf the Democrats and their enablers.<\/p>\n

DiFi denies that the folks on her side,
\nLeaked Ford\u2019s baseless claims to the media!
\nThe hard Left fumes as its antics spell doom,
\nFor stopping Judge Kav\u2019naugh\u2019s nomination!
\nAll their dumb schemes collapsed along with their dreams
\nOf seating Justice Merrick Garland!
\nAs the midterms bear down, Democrats all look like clowns,
\nWith the votes of November all in doubt!<\/p>\n

\u2018Neath the Capitol\u2019s dome in DC they\u2019d vote,
\nOn the nomination of Judge Kav\u2019naugh!
\nA church bell should chime ringing each of ten times,
\nFor each Dem on Judic\u2019ry Committee.
\nThe legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
\nOf the shitshow they call Kavanaugh Hearings!
\nDemocrats, they said, will kill a good man dead
\nIf perceived as a threat to abortion.<\/p>\n

*stops singing* *waits for applause and thrown panties*<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

‘Puter listened to and watched the Senate Judiciary hearings on Judge Kavanaugh’s nomination yesterday. ‘Puter has many thoughts regarding the hearings, so naturally, instead of writing a coherent essay on them, ‘Puter disjointedly set them to music. Enjoy! And if …<\/span> Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"coauthors":[2952],"class_list":["post-14346","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Wreck of the Kavanaugh Hearings - The Gormogons<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/the-wreck-of-the-kavanaugh-hearings\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Wreck of the Kavanaugh Hearings - The Gormogons\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"‘Puter listened to and watched the Senate Judiciary hearings on Judge Kavanaugh’s nomination yesterday. ‘Puter has many thoughts regarding the hearings, so naturally, instead of writing a coherent essay on them, ‘Puter disjointedly set them to music. Enjoy! And if … Continue reading →\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/the-wreck-of-the-kavanaugh-hearings\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Gormogons\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-09-28T13:14:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"'Puter\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Gormogons\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Gormogons\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"'Puter\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/09\\\/the-wreck-of-the-kavanaugh-hearings\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/09\\\/the-wreck-of-the-kavanaugh-hearings\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"'Puter\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/dedde8e992d4eaff0fc006e62536b244\"},\"headline\":\"The Wreck of the Kavanaugh Hearings\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-09-28T13:14:57+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/09\\\/the-wreck-of-the-kavanaugh-hearings\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":548,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/#organization\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/09\\\/the-wreck-of-the-kavanaugh-hearings\\\/\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/09\\\/the-wreck-of-the-kavanaugh-hearings\\\/\",\"name\":\"The Wreck of the Kavanaugh Hearings - The Gormogons\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2018-09-28T13:14:57+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/09\\\/the-wreck-of-the-kavanaugh-hearings\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/www.gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/09\\\/the-wreck-of-the-kavanaugh-hearings\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2018\\\/09\\\/the-wreck-of-the-kavanaugh-hearings\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Wreck of the Kavanaugh Hearings\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"The Gormogons\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/#organization\",\"name\":\"The Gormogons\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.gormogons.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2017\\\/06\\\/obverse.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.gormogons.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2017\\\/06\\\/obverse.png\",\"width\":150,\"height\":154,\"caption\":\"The Gormogons\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/x.com\\\/Gormogons\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/dedde8e992d4eaff0fc006e62536b244\",\"name\":\"'Puter\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2014\\\/04\\\/headputer.jpgfc0dc270bcb4fd51f5d004fd805c624c\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2014\\\/04\\\/headputer.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2014\\\/04\\\/headputer.jpg\",\"caption\":\"'Puter\"},\"description\":\"Always right, unless he isn\u2019t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. \u2019Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons\u2019 financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies. The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig. His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. \u2019Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. \u2019Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people\u2019s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred. He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, \u2019Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently. Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls \u201cSleestak.\u201d Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet. 'Puter suggests the Czar suck it.\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/author\\\/puter\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Wreck of the Kavanaugh Hearings - The Gormogons","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"http:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/the-wreck-of-the-kavanaugh-hearings\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Wreck of the Kavanaugh Hearings - The Gormogons","og_description":"‘Puter listened to and watched the Senate Judiciary hearings on Judge Kavanaugh’s nomination yesterday. ‘Puter has many thoughts regarding the hearings, so naturally, instead of writing a coherent essay on them, ‘Puter disjointedly set them to music. Enjoy! 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