{"id":17265,"date":"2021-07-19T16:19:30","date_gmt":"2021-07-19T20:19:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/?p=17265"},"modified":"2021-07-19T16:19:30","modified_gmt":"2021-07-19T20:19:30","slug":"protect-yourself-from-monkey-pox","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gormogons.com\/index.php\/2021\/07\/protect-yourself-from-monkey-pox\/","title":{"rendered":"Protect Yourself From Monkey Pox"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Your Czar is concerned with your health, and naturally has asked his Czarist Imperial Surgeon\u2019s Office to prepare a bullet point list on how you can best protect yourself against the monkey pox, which is known as the Corona, Zombie Deer, Zika, Killer Flu, MERS, H1N1A, or more commonly, Ebola. Monkey pox has now killed over 500 trillion people in your neighborhood today alone, particularly in the Americas somewhere. Do not be one of the statistics, and do not even read the statistics.<\/p>\n<table width=\"600\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>Avoid places where monkey pox is known to congregate, such as door knobs.<\/td>\n<td><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/1-doorknob.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"139\" height=\"116\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>If you see monkey pox on the ground, do <em>not<\/em> pick it up.<\/td>\n<td><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/2-picking-up.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>Avoid eating monkey pox or place monkey pox near your mouth. Under no circumstances should monkey pox be inserting anything up your nose.<\/td>\n<td><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/3-Human-nose.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>Do not open the door for monkey pox. Do <em>not<\/em> believe its lies. If someone shows up at your door, even if it&#8217;s your sister, it could be Corona. Call the police immediately.<\/td>\n<td><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/4-stranger-door.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>If monkey pox calls on the phone, do not attempt to engage it in conversation (especially if he has a monkey <del>Chinese<\/del> <del>Cervidine<\/del> <del>Haitian<\/del> <del>North American<\/del> <del>Liberian<\/del> <del>Chinese<\/del> accent). Hang up and call the police. Experts recommend changing your phone number frequently to minimize calls from monkey pox.<\/td>\n<td><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/5-stranger-caller.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>If you see monkey pox hanging around a playground or school, run out and scream warnings to the kids to get inside. Watching television is the safest activity for kids during this crisis.<\/td>\n<td><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/6-playground.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>If you see or hear anyone talking about monkey pox, it could be an invasion. Call the Army and tell them to start shelling. If you see something worrisome, <em>say<\/em> something worrisome.<\/td>\n<td><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/7-whispering.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td>Do <em>not<\/em> pet the mice. Actually, this is more true for the Hanta virus, but you can&#8217;t play it too safe.<\/td>\n<td><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/8-mouse-petting.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" \/><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your Czar is concerned with your health, and naturally has asked his Czarist Imperial Surgeon\u2019s Office to prepare a bullet point list on how you can best protect yourself against the monkey pox, which is known as the Corona, Zombie <span class=\"excerpt-dots\">&hellip;<\/span> <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/gormogons.com\/index.php\/2021\/07\/protect-yourself-from-monkey-pox\/\"><span class=\"more-msg\">Continue reading &rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"coauthors":[2953],"class_list":["post-17265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - 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The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (\u0414\u0430\u043d\u0438\u0438\u043b \u0410\u043b\u0435\u043a\u0441\u0430\u043d\u0434\u0440\u043e\u0432\u0438\u0447), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. 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The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (\u0414\u0430\u043d\u0438\u0438\u043b \u0410\u043b\u0435\u043a\u0441\u0430\u043d\u0434\u0440\u043e\u0432\u0438\u0447), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. 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