{"id":4065,"date":"2010-06-28T11:56:00","date_gmt":"2010-06-28T11:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/68.169.38.31\/?p=4065"},"modified":"2014-04-07T01:49:22","modified_gmt":"2014-04-07T01:49:22","slug":"enviro-hippies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gormogons.com\/index.php\/2010\/06\/enviro-hippies\/","title":{"rendered":"Enviro-Hippies"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>Dirty, nasty, hemp-wearing, burned-out enviro-hippies descended on Pensacola Beach, Florida yesterday to hold hands. Seriously<\/a>. Oh, and Gov. Charlie Crist (I-FL) was there to suck up to the loonies as well. In this manner, the do-gooders hoped to call attention to the oil slick threatening the Gulf Coast, to protest offshore drilling generally and to clamor for green energy alternatives.<\/p>\n

Best line of the article? There’s so many to choose from, but here’s ‘Puter’s favorite:<\/p>\n

Michael DeMaria, a clinical psychologist from Pensacola, led demonstrators from a pavilion to the shore like an environmentalist pied piper, tooting softly on a native American-style flute. He said he often tells patients to go swimming in the Gulf as part of therapy.<\/em><\/p>\n

Ah, hippies. Seldom do you disappoint, with your naivete, your detached-from-reality nature and your wackiness.<\/p>\n

In response, ‘Puter offers the following general thoughts.<\/p>\n

1. Holding hands with a bunch of like-minded simpletons does exactly nothing to stop oil from washing up on Gulf Coast beaches. Thanks for all the help, 60s leftovers. Get back in your microbuses and go home to your communal yurts.<\/p>\n

2. If anyone in America is unaware of the oil spill by now, they’ve been living under a rock. Your weak protest is not going to call any further attention to this slow moving disaster. Hey, hippies! Did you hear there’s a recession going on? Maybe you can raise America’s consciousness by holding hands in a giant circle around your local bank. Bring your ethnically sensitive fair trade drum, because we’re having a drum circle afterwards.<\/p>\n

3. If everyone who is against offshore drilling gave up their automobiles and electricity, we could stop drilling offshore. Put up or shut up, hippies.<\/p>\n

4. Green energy isn’t, nor can it feasibly fill America’s energy needs anytime in the foreseeable future. Wishing won’t make it so, nor will all the uninformed platitudes spewing forth from Capitol Hill.<\/p>\n

5. If any part of your life involves “tooting softly on a native American-style flute,” odds are you have nothing of use to contribute to serious debate. And shouldn’t it be properly “Native American,” or even better “Indian”?<\/p>\n

There’s little sporting about hippie bashing, but it’s just so much danged fun.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dirty, nasty, hemp-wearing, burned-out enviro-hippies descended on Pensacola Beach, Florida yesterday to hold hands. Seriously. Oh, and Gov. Charlie Crist (I-FL) was there to suck up to the loonies as well. In this manner, the do-gooders hoped to call attention …<\/span> Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":10490,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[661,369],"tags":[],"coauthors":[],"class_list":["post-4065","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-big-environment","category-hippiesthey-say-they-want-to-save-the-world-but-all-they-do-is-smoke-pot-and-smell-bad"],"yoast_head":"\nEnviro-Hippies - The Gormogons<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.gormogons.com\/index.php\/2010\/06\/enviro-hippies\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Enviro-Hippies - The Gormogons\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Dirty, nasty, hemp-wearing, burned-out enviro-hippies descended on Pensacola Beach, Florida yesterday to hold hands. 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