{"id":4275,"date":"2010-04-27T14:05:00","date_gmt":"2010-04-27T14:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/68.169.38.31\/?p=4275"},"modified":"2014-04-07T01:56:50","modified_gmt":"2014-04-07T01:56:50","slug":"bad-kitteh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gormogons.com\/index.php\/2010\/04\/bad-kitteh\/","title":{"rendered":"Bad Kitteh!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/68.169.38.31\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/3114064690_c87ed229ef.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 225px; FLOAT: right; CURSOR: hand\" title=\"Our Hello Kitty is all grown up now.  Unfortunately.\" border=\"0\" src=\"http:\/\/68.169.38.31\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/3114064690_c87ed229ef.jpg\" \/><\/a>Not one but two separate Gormogon Operatives pointed &#8216;Puter to the horrific Hello Kitty branding effort, pictured, right.<\/p>\n<p>What in the heck was Kotex&#8217;s marketing deaprtment thinking here?  Nothing says comfort and absorption like strapping a kitty to your kitty?<\/p>\n<p>So, as you throw up the oatmeal you managed to shove down your food hole this morning, feel free to thank Operatives G.D. and J.S. for sharing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Not one but two separate Gormogon Operatives pointed &#8216;Puter to the horrific Hello Kitty branding effort, pictured, right. What in the heck was Kotex&#8217;s marketing deaprtment thinking here? Nothing says comfort and absorption like strapping a kitty to your kitty? <span class=\"excerpt-dots\">&hellip;<\/span> <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/gormogons.com\/index.php\/2010\/04\/bad-kitteh\/\"><span class=\"more-msg\">Continue reading &rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":10602,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65,57],"tags":[],"coauthors":[],"class_list":["post-4275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hello-kitty","category-stupid-people"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Bad Kitteh! - The Gormogons<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/gormogons.com\/index.php\/2010\/04\/bad-kitteh\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bad Kitteh! - The Gormogons\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Not one but two separate Gormogon Operatives pointed &#8216;Puter to the horrific Hello Kitty branding effort, pictured, right. What in the heck was Kotex&#8217;s marketing deaprtment thinking here? Nothing says comfort and absorption like strapping a kitty to your kitty? &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/gormogons.com\/index.php\/2010\/04\/bad-kitteh\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Gormogons\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-04-27T14:05:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-04-07T01:56:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/gormogons.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/3114064690_c87ed229ef.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"570\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"289\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"&#039;Puter\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@Gormogons\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Gormogons\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"&#039;Puter\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2010\\\/04\\\/bad-kitteh\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2010\\\/04\\\/bad-kitteh\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"'Puter\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/dedde8e992d4eaff0fc006e62536b244\"},\"headline\":\"Bad Kitteh!\",\"datePublished\":\"2010-04-27T14:05:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-04-07T01:56:50+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2010\\\/04\\\/bad-kitteh\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":72,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2010\\\/04\\\/bad-kitteh\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2010\\\/04\\\/3114064690_c87ed229ef.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Hello Kitty\",\"Stupid People\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2010\\\/04\\\/bad-kitteh\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/gormogons.com\\\/index.php\\\/2010\\\/04\\\/bad-kitteh\\\/\",\"name\":\"Bad Kitteh! 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X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. \u2019Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons\u2019 financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies. The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig. His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. \u2019Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. \u2019Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people\u2019s tents and screams. 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