Sir Isaac Newton is not amused with Democrats’willful ignorance of cause and effect. Ah, Democrats. In times of complexity, unease and upheaval like these, ‘Puter finds himself admiring their simplicity of mind. If ignorance is bliss, the vast majority of … Continue reading →
Just a quick couple of thoughts on the whole Pope Francis surge in the news lately. You can get the genuine religious angle here, but allow the Czar to take some potshots at the Main Stream Media. Because he loves … Continue reading →
A Progressive’s Rendition of a Republican You know how you hear that the Democrats are the ‘Party of the Little Guy’? Republicans are ‘John Q. Monocle’ sporting a top hat and a pipe as they pay sub-minimum wage to children … Continue reading →
Embarrassingly, Pope Francis forgot it was Red Dayat the Sistine Chapel. More embarrassingly, most mediaoutlets refused to accurately report Francis’ responseregarding the Roman Catholic Church’s teachings onhomosexuality. Near the end of a lengthy press conference aboard the papal jumbo jet … Continue reading →
In Sunday’s New York Times op-ed section, Steven Greenhouse shared an article on low wages paid to entry level and low skill employees. ‘Puter chose the term “article” rather than “opinion” in the preceding sentence because ‘Puter could not tell … Continue reading →
Shoot, if Dr. J. were single, he’ consider working up there! The great Emily Grace (@greatgrace84), our resident #ninjababe, brought this article to Dr. J.’s attention in which Saudi Arabia is concerned that oil exports are down due to decreased … Continue reading →
As the Mandarin once wrote, “racism stinks no matter who the victim is” Unfortunately for the reality-based community, an ugly myth remains rampant—exacerbated by the George Zimmerman verdict—that racism is limited only to white people. Here’s a racist. He doesn’t … Continue reading →
‘Puter received the following missive from Operative B.G. shortly after publishing his “Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics” post yesterday. It’s so good, ‘Puter’s running it unedited. Every single word you wrote is true (and in other news, water is wet, … Continue reading →
The Czar regrets to inform Dr. J. that using cookies for smores is not an innovation, but in fact has been around for quite a while. Quite a while, indeed. These desserts might be called s’lesses. In fact, the Czar—known … Continue reading →
Dr. J.’s kids LOVE smores. Indeed, Mrs. Dr. J. has been lobbying for a replacement fire-pit since we’ve moved to J. Abbey from Casa de J. almost a year ago, so they’ve been jonesing for smores for quite some time. … Continue reading →
Let’s wait while Mildred completesthe tabulation, norming the figuresto comport with AP’s expectations. ‘Puter awoke this morning to the mid-summer serenade of cicadas singing mingled with the strangled cries of MSNBC pundits bemoaning the inherent unfairness of our economic system. … Continue reading →
You’ve got to accentuate the positiveeliminate the negativeLatch on to the affirmativeBut don’t mess with mister inbetween Apologies to Sam Cooke but I think our dear readers will agree that it is an appropriate title once you get to the … Continue reading →
Recently over the transom came this minion memo to Confucius from Darod of Qo’noš, last seen on Twitter hobnobbing with Adam Baldwin. Here’s his missive, translated from the original Klingon. O Luminous One, Congratulations on five years of determined yet … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, You are familiar with Lady J., Dr. J.’s beautiful Cavalier, who is resting next to him as he pens this missive. You may not be familiar with the fact that he’s owned (or been owned by) three cats … Continue reading →
Island Dweller with a retrospective on the Death of Detroit; well worth your time and attention so heed: Most illustrious sultan of the steppes: This post is just a couple of observations about Detroit’s demise. I am a native of … Continue reading →
For My sake, Liberals! Don’t makeMe go all “Me throwing the moneychangers out of the Temple”on you! ‘Puter’s been thinking about fairness and social justice lately, mostly because liberals use both concepts as a bludgeon against conservative policy positions, both … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, Your Gormogons have, since its inception, pilloried against the healthcare timebomb affectionately known as Obamacare. Dr. J. refuses to call it by its Orwellian title, the Affordable Care Act because it is neither affordable, nor caring for the … Continue reading →
The 2013 All-Castle Pride Parade Male Chorus prepares to sing its a cappella version of U2’s Pride: In the Name of Man on Man Love ‘Puter’s gotten more mail this week than he has in some time, so he’s trying … Continue reading →
…the fool, or the fools who follow him. – Obi Wan Kenobi, Star Wars I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if 55 million voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has … Continue reading →
Letters, telegrams, and Telexes (CASTLEG) of congratulations have been arriving from around the globe. A sample of those from some of our better-known open collaborators follows. Original copies of the telegrams are attached for historical interest. Apologies to future historians … Continue reading →
‘Puter lectures the newest crop of Gormogonsminions in the Castle’s lecture hall, located3.1 km from the Castle’s central hub in theWing of Larnin’ ‘n’ Nollidge ‘n’ Stuff. ‘Puter’s been on Detroit’s bankruptcy like white on rice. Like Anthony Weiner on … Continue reading →
The Czar got an interesting off-the-record email worth putting back on the record. Specifically, it regarded whether we use nicknames or pet names for political figures. For example, Rush Limbaugh can never refer to Sen. Harry Reid except by a … Continue reading →
Even Monocle Guy gets into the act! Given the amount of misunderestimated inflation going on in our economy with increasing energy costs and the devaluation of the dollar through quantitative easing, the COINS act has been proposed as a way … Continue reading →
Interesting polls lately; apparently both Democrats and Republicans alike want to replace every member of Congress. By overwhelming responses. Of course, none of that matters. Most Congressional approval ratings are pure fantasy because you only vote for your Senators and … Continue reading →
This is weird. The Czar received not one but two emails within minutes of each other regarding a claim on the Internet that Sleestak may have shot Trayvon Martin. First, Borepatch wrote in followed a few moments later by Chiefjaybob, … Continue reading →
Don’t listen to D-Day, you want a balance of small and large caps from both domestic and international companies. Flounder (yes, we really called him Flounder), Dr. J.’s fraternity brother from his days back at Ivy U. is a partner … Continue reading →
Ten years ago, Dr. J. would never have dreamed we were 10 years away from living in a land of stagnating opportunity, where our political leaders agendas are clearly and unequivocally antithetical to America’s best interests, where religious liberty is … Continue reading →
Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA)learned all she needed to know abouteconomic theory selling tax-free boozeand cigarettes on The Rez.Sen. Warren also claims to have watchedaghast as Gen. Whitside slaughtered herpeople at Wounded Knee Creek in 1890. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s your … Continue reading →
That won’t cause nightmares! She’s really nice in person! Gentle Readers, Thank you for celebrating our fifth blogiversary with us. This morning, when we awoke, we found six neatly wrapped presents from the Blogiversary Fairy™. The Blogiversary Fairy is a … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin was watching one of the finest shows on television Monday night. That’s right your Mandarin was watching Top Gear on BBC America. While your Mandarin always enjoys the show, this week’s episode was really prescient given the Detroit … Continue reading →
Something special for our 5th anniversary? How about a picture we have not uploaded before? Here you are! This is us on the National Mallsee the Lincoln Memorial?we took back in 1994. From left, theres Sleestak, Ghettoputer F.X. Gormogon, GorTechie … Continue reading →
Dr. J.’s opined in the past regarding realignment. And yet, the NHL saw fit to re-realign their teams. Here are new match-ups: First and foremost, Dr. J. likes that his beloved Flyers are in the same division as the hated … Continue reading →
Former Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick,currently serving federal prison time for whatprosecutors termed a “pattern of extortion, bribery and fraud” is more honest than theNew York Times editorial staff. ‘Puter’s been trying to limit his posting, especially after yesterday’s magnum opus on … Continue reading →
There are no words adequate to describethe immorality, evil and stupidity inherentin this liberalism, brought to you by the shrill, humorless harpies at Code Pink. ‘Puter thinks it’s cute that liberals regurgitate demonstrably false talking points. ‘Puter thinks it’s even … Continue reading →
Some five years ago, the internal deliberations of the Gormogons were made public on a “blog.” After executing those responsible, we decided to make lemonade of the lemons life handed us. With the blood of the minions responsible. (Dgapo the … Continue reading →
Detroit’s bankruptcy is, as Idiot-in-Chief Joe Biden would say, “a big f*cking deal.” It’s a big deal not only for the people of Detroit, who most certainly have the most to gain (or lose) from restructuring the failed liberal city’s … Continue reading →
The Czar isn’t sure what Island Dweller was ranting about the other day, but obviously Glinda the Good was following it pretty carefully, as she provides her thoughts in response. My Gracious Leader; In reading the contribution of Island Dweller … Continue reading →
As we celebrate the Fifth Anniversary of this site going public (at least in this time stream for GorT), each of us has been asked to post our individual favorite essay or submission over the years. While this post has … Continue reading →
THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PACIFIC RIM IS THAT IT’S LOUD. REALLY LOUD. LIKE THE LOUDEST MOVIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD. Seriously, the Czar has attended rock concerts that had more concern for inner ear sensitivity. Really. … Continue reading →
‘Puter, the Ecumenical Volgi and GorTechie founded The Gormogons on a whim five years ago, July 24, 2008. We three have been friends since our high school days, and neither time nor distance has diminished our love (fraternal love, Czar, so … Continue reading →
Island Dweller writes in: Your most noble immenseness: For some strange reason, given all the really important news that’s breaking lately (TMv.Z, IRS excesses, etc) at least one network has run a story on the “hookup” culture prevalent mostly among … Continue reading →
As we celebrate the Fifth Anniversary of this site going public (we used to do it in pencil, it was so long ago!), each of us has been asked to post our individual favorite essay or submission over the years. … Continue reading →
Hold on to the handrails, folks, GorT is fired up. It’s been one of those weeks. You know the ones – craptastic service from Comcast at GorT’s place of business causing us to be without internet access for almost 2 … Continue reading →
Five years, my your Mandarin wonders where the time has gone, but suspects that GorT has his cold metal hand in it. When your Mandarin’s fellow Gormogons asked him to recount his favorite post, your Mandarin immediately asked, “We have … Continue reading →
Shamelessly stolen from Buzzfeed, here is all you need to know about New York State. Please memorize these two simple lessons before coming to New York. Better, please memorize these two lessons before saying anything remotely related to New York … Continue reading →
That’s not the diplomatic pouch to which ‘Puter referred, Operative ML. Now putit down! Actually, this mailbag’s about the Zimmerman verdict and self-defense law. ‘Puter just enjoys revving up the humorless shrew wing of the gay lobby by linking ‘Puter’s … Continue reading →
Conservative twitter great, future senator from the great state of South Carolina, and Friend of the Gormogons Bruce Carroll, aka @GayPatriot posted this on his twitter feed: Just when you thought it was safe to go the doctor… #ObamaCareNado: http://t.co/uxEY5HIdYQ— … Continue reading →
Dr. J. would like to thank the readers for indulging him a runner-up. What started out as a parenthetical evolved into a post. Such is the joy that is blogging. Dr. J.’s favorite post also happened to resonate with a … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, Dr. J. was torn between two posts as to which he was going to pick as his ‘Best of’ post. His true ‘Best-of’ article will go up later today. The runner up was his review of the 2012 … Continue reading →
Island Dweller writes a nice letter about the Zimmerman trial on the back of a prescription for Clomipramine. Your omniscience: Esteemed Associate and I were discussing the Martin case last evening. I encapsulate our conversation for you. One has to … Continue reading →
Kevin Cronin and REO Speedwagon secretlyadvance the grand plot of the omnipotent WhiteMale Patriarchy to keep Blacks down throughjudicious application of late 1970s rock music. In the immortal words of REO Speedwagon, ‘Puter’s had “enough of the falseness of a … Continue reading →
Hard to believe it finally happened, but the Czar is elated that DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano is resigning to go into academia. Ironically, she should have been there the entire time, if for no other reason than her threat assessment … Continue reading →
The Huckleberry’s Huckleberry LTC Dan writes: Dear Dr. J., I don’t remember this from the movie TOMBSTONE… Love ya, mean it! LTC Dan We love you too man! Thank you, again, for your service to our country. We thought about … Continue reading →
Our Huckleberry, look upon his works and despair! Gentle Readers, July 24th marks the fifth anniversary of your Gormogons blog site. As you know we’ve been working behind the scenes in our worldwide conspiracy since long before that storied day … Continue reading →
‘Puter hates public sector unions, particularly teachers unions. Teachers unions steal from their members, protect unqualified and predatory teachers and support work rules that have ruined public education. So long as teachers unions keep their ill-advised, asinine policy positions in … Continue reading →
Well, the governor’s race in Illinois just got interesting yesterday, for those of you who wonder why anyone would bother to live here. The interest arises from a glimpse into the Chicago Political Machine. Illinois is a nutty state politically, … Continue reading →
GorT has been lax about posting recently – mostly due to being really busy at work, partially due to enjoying summer with friends & family, and somewhat due to not having much in the world that has really grabbed his … Continue reading →
Yeah, the greatest straight-to-cable cinematic experience since Children of Dune, and you think we weren’t going to comment on it? Dr. J.’s simply been very busy… Any movie where the shark jumps the original shark jumper himself, Robbie ‘Cousin Oliver‘ … Continue reading →
“When you call Jhoon Rhee self-defense,then you too can say … Nobody bothers me!NOBODY BOTHERS ME! Call USA-1000! Jhoon Rhee means might for right!”Our DC readers of a certain age will understand this reference. ‘Puter’s had about enough of liberal … Continue reading →
Island Dweller writes in to clarify an earlier point he made: I was referring to the great Detroit riot of 1967, in which 43 people were shot dead, a few by the DPD; the rest of the shooters were fellow … Continue reading →
At least Blacks, Whites, liberals and conservatives can agree that Narragansett Lager is crap. ‘Puter was in scenic Worcester, Massachusetts this weekend attending a reunion for alumni of the college student-run theater and the college choir. As one might imagine, … Continue reading →
Typical mainstream media representative Cenk Uygur stepped in a pile of his own feces yesterday when he tweeted, evidently in response to the acquittal of George Zimmerman—who evidently will not be truly not guilty until 2016—the following: Ok, I give … Continue reading →
Arts & Letters Daily links to a Chronicle of Higher Education article called, “When Hollywood Held Hands With Hitler,” hyping a new book claiming Hollywood studios somehow “collaborated” with the Nazi régime in the 1930s to stay in the market. The … Continue reading →
Think you have a bad day from time to time? Imagine the morons at KTVU Channel 2 in San Francisco/Oakland, who read on the air the names of the Asiana airline pilots: allow the Czar to quote, “Sum Ting Wong,” … Continue reading →
As you likely have heard, Illinois became the 50th state to join reality and legalize concealed carry. To be fair, implementation of this law will take a little while yet, but already people are watching to see what happens in … Continue reading →
The great ScottO writes: O Most Powerful and Wise Dr. J., I read your review of the Yelp Dr. J.
Continue reading →Hey, teacher, leave us kids alone! The school cafeteria has been the stuff of derision since time immemorial. When Dr. J. was a yout’ he learned pretty early after a hearty breakfast of oatmeal, orange juice and tea; that a Fluffernutter™, … Continue reading →
A Pew poll was released that surveyed Americans’ attitudes toward various professions. Journalists in particular are not particularly well liked by Americans. Since 2009, attitudes about journalists have dropped in every polling category: men, women, younger, older, education level, and … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, Dr. J. was made hip to this a few weeks ago by one of his hip single urban dwelling (HSUD) classmates from Ivy U. Apparently Yelp*, a website and app used to find stores, restaurants, bars, and to … Continue reading →
Anytime Rep. Roskam (R-IL) wants to send in a guest post, GorT will be happy to share it. Consider this clip from the representative (courtesy of NRO’s Corner) and one could think of it as a brilliant audition tape: mocking, … Continue reading →
‘Puter and Czar frequently rail against government backed student loans, bitching loudly and lengthily at all who will listen. Czar posted about the issue three days ago, and ‘Puter presciently posted on student loans nearly three years ago, on December … Continue reading →
All this and more can be yours for only $19.95! Your imperial majesty: My own царица has fled the aquatic hinterlands and is currently esconsced with the girls in the Big Easy. This leave me with more time on my … Continue reading →
Private universities sued their tax exempt status? WTF? When Dr. J. saw this article last week, it made his eyes pop out of his head, much like those of Aria Stark actress Maisie Williams’s after she watched the Red Wedding … Continue reading →
‘Puter participates in “Toss a Mental Dwarfinto the Manticore Enclosure” Night downat the Leaping Peacock. Pictured, ‘Puter preparing to huck E.J. Dionne. Off camera,Czar wiping the schmaltz off his hands aftersimilarly treating Katrina vanden Heuvel. With apologies to a handful … Continue reading →
Guess what else you are paying for? The feds have decided that despite raging unemployment, a collapsing foreign policy that has weakened America around the world, a new healthcare law about to tank the economy, and a failure of its … Continue reading →
6:00 Uh-Oh, Billy! Sitcom “Hilarr-ity” continues as Bill and Al try to sneak a girl out of the house while Hillary is home; Hillary, thinking Bill forgot their anniversary, is in no mood for explanations. So how did the girl … Continue reading →
The Czar intends to annoy a hell of a lot of people with this post, but conservatives need to stop sucking at the teat of fantasy about a third party. Unless, of course, they want to suck at the teat … Continue reading →
Imagine how things could work if the free market were to handle student loans. Sorry, Drew. The best interest rate you’re getting will be 18.7 percent. Maybe majoring in Klingon Literature at Case Western was a bad idea. Also, bringing … Continue reading →
Insert images of sad puppies in the sweltering heat of teh globul warmyngzes! The Czar and GorT have called a spade a spade with regard to the willful ignorance of liberals when it comes to science. Dr. J. had to … Continue reading →
Nitwittery comes in pints? As you know, when our leaders are trying to show their solidarity with Joe Sixpack, they’re photographed with a beer in their hand. Hillary’s done it. Bill Clinton’s certainly done it (but Dr. J. posits that … Continue reading →
The average temperature on Earth may be changing up or down. We honestly don’t know. Some folks say it is going up a degree, and therefore floods and famine may occur. That’s actually possible. Other folks say it is going … Continue reading →
GorT has been busy over the last few weeks with some family stuff and has been remiss in posting about a number of topics. Thankfully, his fellow Gormogons are on point and tackled many of the issues that were on … Continue reading →
Your Gormogons wish you a happy and safe fourth of July! Defending the Constitution one foreign or domestic enemy at a time…. Dr. J.
Continue reading →Probably the most surprising news on ObamaCare in years happened yesterday with very little fanfare: the White House has realized and tacitly admitted the whole thing is a freaking travesty. In the unlikely event you missed it—despite its near-total absence … Continue reading →
Island Dweller has his usual pair of related observations: Your majesty, Only a “consummate politician” could do this, after all those quaint little strolls on the beach…ID FoxNews home page6-29-13Associated Press Republicans accused New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie of getting … Continue reading →
These are either the ugliest lesbians ‘Puter’sever seen or Czar and Dat Ho are trollingfor sailors during Fleet Week again. Bettermake sure Czar hasn’t drunk his bail fund. ‘Puter received this missive from Island Dweller (by way of Czar who … Continue reading →
As you know, Illinois is the last state to prohibit concealed carrying of firearms in public and, thanks to a series of court decisions, is being forced to allow concealed carry. The Illinois legislature was given a limited time to … Continue reading →
The friendly staff here at Gormogons.com (which you really should visit) would like to correct some items from previous posts. In a recent post dealing with liberalism, we indicated that Mr. Tuck Pointer, 42, of Deer Lick Falls was a … Continue reading →
Uh,huh. So this White House Down movie is not doing very well. It opened in fourth place behind two repeat films (it brought in only half as much as Monsters University, now in its second week) and well behind a … Continue reading →
Dr. J.’s been out sick with a GI bug on and off since last Wednesday. He’s playing catch up at work today, so rather than write something insightful he will rely on teh interwebz to cover for him. Besides you’ve … Continue reading →
