Her
GorT & Mrs. GorT went out to dinner and a movie with friends last night. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing and our friends chose the restaurant and movie. The meal was really good – we … Continue reading →
Yearly Archives: 2013
The Yuan As World’s Reserve Currency?
Awesome question from Island Dweller, and one the Czar expects will generate a little bit of mail and, better still, commentary from other brooders within the Castle: Most illustrious majesty, Thanks to the Democrats, the yuan has gone up in … Continue reading →
E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!
Dr. J. would like to wish a congratulations to his Philadelphia Eagles for winning the NFC East outright against the hated Dallas Cowboys, and knocking them out of playoff contention in one fell swoop. Come by the Castle for a … Continue reading →
#Krugfail
There is a quote attributed to Bill Gates (although research shows that it isn’t quite accurate) wherein he supposedly stated that 640k of computer memory would be enough. It has become a line that is used to mock Bill Gates … Continue reading →
Dispatches from Indiana
The Czar finds himself in the Crossroads State today, but no matter—your mail finds him wherever. The Retired Spook wants to add one more thing to his observations on the 2008 election: Your Czarosity; As I recall, the NYT endorsed … Continue reading →
Glad We’re Focusing on the Economy
GorT sometimes attends protests Maybe liberals and democrats are focusing on “living wage” arguments so the following doesn’t get much press: A recent CNN poll shows almost 70% of the country believes the economy is generally in poor shape and … Continue reading →
What Is It About Wal-Mart? Well, Actually…
Regarding minimum wage, our own GorT mentions: The argument from one side is with that amount of profit why can’t Walmart (and ostensibly other companies like it, but apparently Walmart is the target of the season) pay its employees more … Continue reading →
Retired Spook Mail
Retired Spook, our favoritest Master Sergeant, writes in on a couple of topics. First, he urges caution on the impending overturn of the Senate: Remember, this is the party that took the NYT-endorsed candidate into the 2008 election. They have … Continue reading →
Holiday Discussions
Well as much as President Obama and #PajamaBoy wanted us to talk about Health Care over the holidays, GorT and his friends and family didn’t touch the subject (aside from the brief jokes about how bad the rollout is going … Continue reading →
Mailbaggage
Christmas stockings were filled with mail here, and the Czar put his unstockinged feet up on the Ottoman to relax rather than respond. Before Mark Spahn, of West Seneca, New York, writes to disabuse the Czar on his capitalization of … Continue reading →
Malpractice
Click to make bigger. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia … Continue reading →
More Bad News for Democrats
CNN conducted what appears to be the 7,346th straight poll that spells real problem for the Democrats. In this their latest, even CNN is conceding that it’s a rough time to be a Democrat. Worse, CNN—who at worst shills for … Continue reading →
Keeping Them Rolling
Click to make larger. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia … Continue reading →
Naturally Enough
Click to make bigger, or perish. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of … Continue reading →
#pajamaboy Takes On Gun Control
Solution for PajamaBoy Ad Disaster? Call Millennials Stupid
Big-time ad exec (and Obama supporter, evidently) Jeff Goodby—whose work you know well—is not a fan of the Pajama Boy ad campaign which you see being spoofed here as well as everywhere else. No, it isn’t because the ad parodies … Continue reading →
Keeping This Going
Click to make bigger. As if you need to make an eight-foot-tall robot bigger. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, … Continue reading →
Go for the Bronze! OR Actuarial Scroogery
Sexy Actuary is going to be the hot Halloween Costume in 2014. Girls with glasses, meow! Well, Ed Henry, F. Chuck Todd, Major Lt. Col. Garrett and the rest of the White House press corps (not corpses) can stop asking … Continue reading →
Driving Volgi to Drink
What Else Keeps Us Awake
The Царица has odd tastes in television relative to the Czar. Although we cheerfully watch the same firearm shows, often together, she will—when the Czar is out of the room for any length of time—put on something incredibly stupid. Particularly … Continue reading →
After the Drinking at the Castle
Click to embiggen… GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including … Continue reading →
Get Drinking
Click to enlarge, of course. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all … Continue reading →
Mailbag – Billy the #pajamaboy and Frankie the English Challenged Edition
Quit doodling in the margins and get the translation right! Gentle Readers, Dr. J. got a bunch of mail in the last couple of days. The first was from our friend Mark Spahn. It wasn’t directly to Dr. J. but … Continue reading →
The Mail Was Light Yesterday
What fun! Let’s open up the Czar’s mailbox to see what you all have to say. First up, we have Mark Spahn, of West Seneca, New York, with some questions on our lightbulb guide. Thank you, your Czarosity, for [your … Continue reading →
No Mellow Was Harshed
A certain retired Master Sergeant wants us to consider how bad things might be. Your Immenseness; At the risk of wearing out my welcome here, I’d like to point out something that my grandfather frequently reminded me to consider; A. … Continue reading →
The Czar Explains Light Bulbs
After a few years of grousing about a portion—only a portion—of President Obama’s daily mistakes, we cannot overlook that President Bush had a doozy as well. You know what this is about: the incandescent lightbulb ban. The problem about the … Continue reading →
Meet Billy…
Meet Billy.* Billy is the poster boy for Organizing for Action latest fuck-up-the-holidays-with-political-conversation-that-is-not-welcome-at-the-dinner-table. This risible ad campaign is encouraging its email list to talk up the great success that is Obamacare and the Healthcare.gov website. Has the president signed up, … Continue reading →
Guest Commentary: Dr. Benjamin Carson
This landed smack dab in the middle of Dr. J.’s Facebook feed this morning from none other than Dr. Benjamin Carson: It is going to be increasingly difficult to attract outstanding students to pursuing careers in the medical field. This … Continue reading →
All Your Data Are Belong to Us
GorT has been pretty busy of late with a few big deadlines and projects at work culminating in traveling to Texas for his company’s Christmas Party. He ate well there and had a great time with his co-workers in the … Continue reading →
Scott Walker, We’ll Hardly Know Ye
The Czar thinks Scott Walker, among others, would in particular make a fine president. Too bad, really, because reality doesnt give a hoot about what the Czar thinks, nor what ought to be even were we incorrect. Indeed, realty kind … Continue reading →
Popalicious P.S.
Doc, Confucius* has it on good authority that Pope Francis is not and has never been an adherent of Liberation Theology, on which basis he was roundly detested by almost all of his fellow South American Jesuits. That said, Confucius … Continue reading →
Mailbox – Popalicious Edition
Gentle Readers, The Holy Father, Pope Francis continues to make headlines, what with the Time Man of the Year award and all. LTC Dan (@LTCDanR) writes: Dear Dr. J., Thoughts? Comments?, LTC Dan Dear LTC Dan, Thank you for writing … Continue reading →
Narcissist… And Ignorant
President Obama, if there is any doubt even among his most ardent supporters, is a classic narcissist. So much so, an introductory college textbook could use him as its example. The extreme neuroses, the need for constant reassurance, the ability … Continue reading →
A Quartet of Letters
The Czar, as usual, picked up a lot of interesting mail over the weekend. Mark Spahn, he of West Seneca, New York, submitted a clever idea about using text-to-speech applications as an inexpensive and highly effective way to proofread materials … Continue reading →
The All Father Knows When You Are Sleeping…
Eric Brown, came up with this nifty compare and contrast between Odin and Santa. The evidence does not have the same weight as the Amazon as front for the North Pole conspiracy, but it is compelling, nonetheless. The Lil Medstudent … Continue reading →
Sequester Thoughts
We haven’t commented too much on the effective ending of sequestration, but as always, the public seems to misunderstand what really was happening. Too many conservatives are coming out and gnashing their teeth about this. Yes, the sequestration was powerful … Continue reading →
Dr. J.’s Best College Prank!
College in the age of the 13th Imam, PBUH! Gentle Reader, The Czar, our self-styled merry prankster has gotten each of us more than once. The cherry in ‘Puter’s Manhattan, hilarious stuff! Dr. J., as an act of revenge, pranked … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
‘Puter more closely resembles Barney Rubble, except ‘Puter’s bald. It’s your Volgi that’s more Flintstone-esque, except bearded. ‘Puter’s jonesing for the five o’clock whistle so he can slide down the dinosaur’s tail and into his eco-friendly foot-powered car, a la … Continue reading →
The Czar Bows To A Master
The Czar, as you might have guessed, is a long-time practical joker, and as you would figured from that, has pulled some massive stunts in his day. But nothing is as awe-inspiring as the guy standing to the right over … Continue reading →
Sour milk from the teat of government
The bad news is that Obamacare negatively affects you, our gentle reader. The good news is that Julia is equally bad off. Remember Julia? We lampooned her here a while back. Someone from the Independent Women’s Voice organization came up … Continue reading →
Estimating a Podesta Munity Destiny
The snow is finally falling here in Muscovy, and the holidays must be fast approaching because all the car commericals on television are written by and for 5-year-olds. Seriously: whoever it was at Honda who greenlit the use of Michael … Continue reading →
ZOMG! SNOWZ!!!!!
It snowed in New Atlantis last night. Here, the house elves in J. Abbey take a break from scullery duty to enjoy the view of last nights snowfall. Lady J. can be seen gamboling about the courtyard, hunting for game foul. … Continue reading →
Fomenting Wrath
Island Dweller says a bunch of things here, but seems to touch on the need for term limits: Most dread and awful majesty – Last night, while giving Lobot Ami a rubdown to prepare him for his next flight back … Continue reading →
In Which ‘Puter Gives The Boys The Whole 8.266 Meters
Jeez, ‘Puter actually spends some time working and the guys nearly tear the Castle down fighting about the metric system. Really? The metric system? Had you already exhausted the “Who’s the better musician: Justin Bieber or Katy Perry” debate? Hand … Continue reading →
Religious Freedom: A Reminder
As with Loki, the smile only takes the Lil Medstudent so far at school and nowhere with the family. Dr. J.’s busy with being on the consultation service in the hospital this week and last, and dealing with the Lil … Continue reading →
The Wages of Spin
Operative MR has been working on a secret project for us, the nature of which shall not be revealed, named Project Shoot Down ISON. She takes time out from her busy schedule to write in. Please note especially her first … Continue reading →
Czarish Errata
The lovely and talented Mark Spahn—wait, hold on. We have never seen him. He could be horrifying in appearance. Perhaps. So the monstrous and talented Mark Spahn of West Seneca, New York, sends some thoughts our way on the metric … Continue reading →
Castle Throwdown
Every once in a while a topic comes up that places your Gormogons on differing sides of Castle. However, GorT feels he needs to clear the air regarding the metric system. This post originally was longer but after the Czar … Continue reading →
Last word from me on metric.
Czar, Your point about my argument as (inelegantly) stated is correct, but I was trying to get at the handiness of the units of relative and different size (inch, foot, yard), as opposed to the reduction to numbers of relatively … Continue reading →
Another 2.65cm of Commentary
Well, we Gormogons love infighting. Watching the playful shoving match between Dr. J., GorT, and Volgi over the metric system is a strong reminder to you readers that we Castle men do not march in lockstep. Each of the Czar’s … Continue reading →
All About Unions and Minimum Wage
A Primer on Union Types There are basically three different types of labor unions. There are trade unions, who are the oldest, consisting of your electricians, masons, plumbers, carpenters, and so on. These men and women serve a serious function, … Continue reading →
Pre-human DNA found 400,000 years ago?
Who else is a suitable companion for The ‘Malcolm Tucker’ Doctor! Sounds like ‘Puter was joyriding in GorT’s time machine again. Dr. J.
Continue reading →Forced metricization? Politely, bite me, GorT.
GorT, perhaps spurred on by some weird base-10 bug in his base- processor or a virus picked up passing through the Carter Administration, has made some claim for the superiority of the metric system based on its alleged non-arbitrariness. Because of … Continue reading →
Detroit’s Pensioners Screwed Themselves (And So Are All Other Public Pensioners)
Public sector union members thoughtfully and politely discuss the possible reduction of their pension benefits with the taxpayers footing the outsized and ever-growing bill. Detroit’s public sector unions are squealing like stuck Irish pigs about their pensions being treated as just another unsecured … Continue reading →
America’s Pasttime in 27.432 Meter Increments
GorT’s recent post elicited some interesting responses. First BG writes in regarding flopping and various sports: So basketball and football are better than soccer because the NBA and the NFL are taking steps to deal with the curse of “flopping,” … Continue reading →
Four-Way
Look, everybody knows the Mandarin is the most popular writer here because he can distill total rage in about three short paragraphs, accompanied by either a funny graphic or some utterly bizarre YouTube video never more than a couple minutes … Continue reading →
The Whole 10 Yards
No, the metric system doesn’t go to 11. While GorT will grant Dr. J the evil that is (was) Esperanto, GorT will take a bit of umbrage with his poke at soccer and the metric system. GorT is an engineer … Continue reading →
The Square Wheels Are Falling Off Liberalism’s “Free Crap For Everyone” Bus: Detroit Pension Edition
To liberals, utilizing the political process to thwart public sector union excesses is exactly the same as the wholesale slaughter of millions of innocents. Also, U R HITLER, DAMNED RETHUGLIKKANS! There is nothing more pleasing to ‘Puter than watching courts and legislatures … Continue reading →
Trouble in Workers’ Paradise
Democrat candidates eligible for re-election are carefully stripping any mention of Obamacare from their websites and campaign literature; unfortunately, some Democrats not running for re-election keep trumpeting the disastrous program, and this is already turning the tide. In one ultra-Democratic … Continue reading →
We Warned ISON Not To Come Here…You Heard Us
Funny, huh, how astronomers are all giddy to the gills about comet ISON, named after famed Russian comet hunter Professor Исондровсков, which was promised as the Comet of the Century! Get ready, armchair astronomers, because this bad boy will light … Continue reading →
The Czar Rants A Bit About A Bad Idea
JAB, who deep fries even the turkey stuffing, writes in on Thanksgiving: Your Czarness: With Organizing for America sending out talking points for how to promote Obamacare at the family Thanksgiving table, I propose a competition: For every OFA point-spouting … Continue reading →
The Iron Bowl Finish – WOW!
Dr. J. lives with an Alabama fan (the Lil Medstudent) and an Auburn fan (the Lil Resident). Dr. J. and Mrs. Dr. J. tend to root for the nearest SEC team to New Atlantis, or our host’s team, just to … Continue reading →
Stacking the Polls
Obama is presently not enjoying his worst polling numbers since, well, ever. And given his glee for blaming his predecessor for everything, the Czar wondered how President Obama’s numbers look superimposed over President Bush’s numbers. Hogwash, Obama’s supporters will say: … Continue reading →
Yes, Dr. J. still remains fond of Imperial Measurements
The Metric System….for a safe and secure society which I assure you will last for 10,000 years. Dr. J., for a physician and scientist, is strangely comfortable with the Imperial Measurements. He leaves his cc’s, milligrams, meters per second and … Continue reading →
Anthropocon Nails It regarding Pope Francis
The Holy Father is welcome to join Drs. J. and. Laffer at NACC for Thanksgiving Dinner. We’ll talk macroeconomics. Friend of the Gormogons, Anthropocon writes a fantastic blog piece on Pope Francis’s recent writings. It is definitely worth a good … Continue reading →
For All We Have Yet To Lose
Long-time readers know of the Czar’s fondness for Thanksgiving; he is pleased to hear from more and more people—including strangers—echoing the same sentiment for the same reasons: Thanksgiving is the perfect holiday. Don’t these seem like nice people? Your family … Continue reading →
The Great Gormogon Turkey Challenge
Today, thanks to time travel, we were able to hold our First Annual Turkey Contest yesterday. And the results were about what you would expect. As you know, all of us Gormogons are superlative cooks in at least one area … Continue reading →
A Game of Inches
The Czar somehow began sighing halfway through the sentence “There’s a problem at recess.” The 11-year-old Цесаревич has serious eyes when he said it, but to be realistic most of these problems are two friends squabbling or the weird kid … Continue reading →
Day Of The Pony or TWO REVIEWS
This will make sense if you watched the Day of the Doctor Gentle Readers, This contains spoilers, but as it is after the 48 hour embargo period, Dr. J. decided to start off with spoiler free reviews then delve into … Continue reading →
History Teases, But Rarely Mocks
As we know, the Czar is out of rational explanations for what happened in 2012. Now over a year ago, we had an election that was locked certain for Republicans to win. The question wasn’t the Presidency—that was surely Romney’s—the … Continue reading →
How Liberals Saw Obamacare
All right, the Czar will explain the liberal mindset yet again, but this time we will explain what the deal is with Obamacare. Even though polls are showing liberals are dumping on Obamacare (a recent poll showed only 12% of … Continue reading →
They shouldn’t have let Dr. J. paint the Castle bathroom
A Public Service Announcment From Your Mandarin…
Your Mandarin is very concerned about the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. Not because this is a piece of popular culture but more due to the fact that something may or may not have gone wrong in the lab the … Continue reading →
Plus ça Change
The following essay is a guest post from Island Dweller because it seems the Czar doesn’t post anything of his own lately. But this great news, because we remind our readers that you are welcome to submit your thoughts either … Continue reading →
Dr. J. plays catch up
Gentle Readers, Dr. J.’s been horrifically busy of late, so he hasn’t been able to write much of substance and you’ve had to suffer the slings and arrows of My Little Pony jokes and puppy pictures, and not much Gormotastic … Continue reading →
No Time To Post…
Your Inscrutable Mandarin is most busy these days, and has had little time to post. You are probably wondering what has been so demanding of his time. Here is a hint: The MandarinThe Mandarin, whose real name is 吏恆, joined … Continue reading →
Hey Norm!
No, not that Norm. Everyone knows his name. When will the madness end? There is an article on Yahoo Finance today citing Larry Summers’ and Paul Krugman’s assertions that the US economy isn’t slow to recover, it’s in a “permanent … Continue reading →
Male Bag! Extra Sweet Edition
Nothing says “treat us with dignity and respect we deserve” more than dressing up and behaving in accordance with the worst stereotypes about us. Also, these two are playing a game of “hide the sugar beet.” Can you find it? ‘Puter’s … Continue reading →
Still More Unintended Consequences
The following essay is a guest post from Island Dweller. We remind our readers that you are welcome to submit your thoughts either as an email or as a complete essay. A certain well-known radio talk show host this afternoon … Continue reading →
Kennedy & Nam, con’t.
The Czar asked Confucius’s* opinion on the oft-stated theory that President Kennedy, had he lived, would have withdrawn the U.S. from Vietnam. Confucius does not have a strong opinion one way or the other. Here’s why: Historical counterfactuals are awesome!Buy … Continue reading →
Why Government Shouldn’t Run A Popsicle Stand: A Case Study
These are sugar beets. A pile of sugar beets looks almostlike a hot, steaming load of fresh horse manure. Similarly,USDA’s price support loan program for sugar beetfarmers is the indubitable equivalent of the aforementionedequine excrement. The Wall Street Journal ran … Continue reading →
Journalism and Truthers
The following essay is a guest post from Island Dweller. We remind our readers that you are welcome to submit your thoughts either as an email or as a complete essay. Your majesty: The more you study his diagram, the … Continue reading →
Introducing Loki J.
Introducing Loki J. – Lord of Chaos Gentle Readers, We have a new addition to the J. clan. This weekend, we welcomed into our home Lady J.’s half brother, Loki J. Old Grandad, Eng CH Harana Alfie Boe. Lady and … Continue reading →
Kennedy and Việt Nam
Island Dweller copies the Czar on some of his mail, which we in turn by our massive grace extend unto thee, dear reader: Your majesty: Esteemed Associate, still firmly ensconced like a tenacious polyp in the bowels of the government … Continue reading →
Democrats Understandably Anxious
Island Dweller brings charm, not just wit: Y’Maj, Thinks have been rather grey and wet here on Shangri-La of late. After placing some rocks beneath an A/C drain outside the house yesterday and performing some forestry functions with the Czarina, … Continue reading →
Stupid Is is Stupid Does
Courtesy of intrepid Dougie P Fresh: Maybe there are only about 106,000 people that don’t care about their personal privacy information… For those not in the know…that drop down is showing the most frequent search terms and it clearly shows … Continue reading →
An Olive Branch for GorT
A compromise, in the name of peace and sanity, ending the rift between between the Pi’sts and the Tau’ists, the later group includes GorT: From xkcd: Conveniently approximated as e+2, Pau is also known as the Devil’s Ratio (because in … Continue reading →
What Does This Say?
No, ‘Puter, I didn’t title this, “What does the fox say?” As part of the signup process on Healthcare.gov, users are presented with a Terms & Conditions page that they have to click accept. We’ve all seen these before, whether … Continue reading →
Lest We Not Forget
A few months ago when the Benghazi, IRS, and the Fast & Furious issues were front and center and prior to the whole PP-ACA (a/k/a Obamacare) rollout debacle, the democrats – particularly President Obama and his mouthpiece, Jay Carney, were … Continue reading →
Eddie Deezen v. Ezekiel Emanuel
Island Dweller has some observations: Losing Our Cool, are we? Your immenseness: I had cause to laugh yesterday while watching an out-take from Megan Kelly’s show on FoxNews that featured an interview she attempted with Ezekiel Emanuel, brother of Rahm … Continue reading →
Secret Circus
Island Dweller has our guest post of the day. Enjoy! You know, you can write guest posts here, too. Just send ‘em in to any one of us and let us know you want it as a standalone piece or … Continue reading →
Guest Writer: Grandfather’s Day
Our guest writer today is no less a celebrity than JAB, who writes to you from the Doublewide. “’The gentle but powerful influence of laws and manners had gradually cemented the union of the provinces. Their peaceful inhabitants enjoyed and … Continue reading →
Mailbag – Force Ghost Edition
The operative known as Ghost writes to Dr. J., rather than The Czar: O Wielder of the Scalpel Most Fine, I normally write to my overlord who shall not be named, but this…was so…you, that it could not be helped. … Continue reading →
Readers Respond
The Czar loves getting mail. But the truth is this: the worse things get out there, the more mail he receives. And we are sad to confess, as you have noticed, the Czar has been getting a lot of mail … Continue reading →
Gormogon Ad
Hi, I’m William Devane. Years ago the Czar told me to invest in land. Well, I did…and I did very well. But now it’s time to buy Gormogon Gold. So much financial craziness in the world today – governments trying … Continue reading →
We Need a Little Christmas…
Man, it’s been a sucky year or two, Charlie Brown. The retail sector has no shame. They have been pushing their Christmas decorating earlier and earlier every year. Indeed, the Charlie Brown Easter special back in 1974 was hip to the … Continue reading →
Obamacare: Another Way of Seeing Its Unpopularity
So after about 45 days, something less than 50,000 people have actually signed up for Obamacare. Wasn’t it supposed to be 30 million? And then 300 million? Oh, and it turns out this number may include people who simply went … Continue reading →
Falling Down
Inevitably, future historians will write detailed biographies of President Barack Obama as they have done for all the presidents. God willing, President Obama will enjoy a long, happy retirement with his family and take the time to read some of … Continue reading →
Beating Them At Their Own Game
Island Dweller brings the 411: Esteemed, great and awful majesty: I recall a recent post by you relating to American voters and how they suck (by and large). Here is a story that’s a perfect example of how voters take … Continue reading →