Dr. J. was astounded with the President’s speech, the timing of which dovetailed nicely with his most recent faculty meeting on Wednesday. Let’s go to the funny pages for the President’s speech: Our first priority is aimed at providing better … Continue reading →
The Czar and the Mandarin went for dinner the other evening with two gentlemen to discuss all manners of things. The Mandarin picked a steak place that tends to cater to a lot of older, professional types looking to score … Continue reading →
The Czar ponders what might be done with Egypt. In passing, he describes the Volgi as a foreign-policy cynic. One thinks of oneself as an empiricist more than a cynic, but perhaps the eye of the beholder governs. The short … Continue reading →
The Czar tends to be the optimist; he leaves cynicism for 孔夫子, the Œcumenical Volgi (The Notorious ŒV) as the latter is far more experienced in matters of Что делать. But what is to be done seems to be the … Continue reading →
Day 3: New York GorT didn’t take a lot of notes in the travelog for New York. Largely because we were having fun during Day 3 in ‘Puter’s backyard touring around upstate NY. So see here and here for details … Continue reading →
Get thee to Vermont! …but your wife or domestic life partner can’t. In two separate news articles, employees of the University of Virginia and the United Parcel Service hear the ‘other shoe dropping’ as their 2014 benefits have been announced. … Continue reading →
30 out of the 50 US governors are Republican, quite a few in states long ruled by Democrats. If you look at historical trends, the number of Republican governors has been steadily ticking up; so much so that if trends … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s had a few embarrassing moments on the Delmarva,mistaking rich, white, do nothing housewives in their skeletalglory for Sleestak. Unlike Sleestak, these fragile princesses can’ttake a punch. N.B., cops will not accept “I thought she was my lizard humanoid houseboy” … Continue reading →
Forever Uninsured… Even more Obamacare chickens came home to roost today! Forever 21, a young women’s clothing store dear to the hearts of legions of millennials and Gen-Xers-in-denial is moving non-management workers to 29.5 hours/week. Why is this? Probably because … Continue reading →
Either President Obama or his many followers are the most petty, thin-skinned, and ill-tempered man-children in politics. Of course, the Czar is referring to this ridiculous rodeo clown incident. This was never a problem before, when the rodeo clowns dressed … Continue reading →
It takes a few to make a patten. By our reckoning, Barack Obama is the fifth liberal progressive president, and like the other four, he has no coherent foreign policy outside of brute force. Here is our thinking: Woodrow Wilson … Continue reading →
Secretary of the Interior Sally Jewell—probably the last of Obama’s secretaries not involved in something mind-bogglingly stupid—just got herself involved in something mind-bogglingly stupid. In a Department-wide address to Interior employees, she warned them that loyalty tests shall be given … Continue reading →
One of Darwin’s finches…note the beak… New Atlantis’s Catholic Medical Association chapter is a close knit group of physicians who work at New Atlantic Ivory Tower Medical Center (NAITMC), New Atlantis Papist Medical Center (NAPMC) West, and NAPMC – Midtown … Continue reading →
The Czar steps aside to let Island Dweller have a post today. Enjoy! Surfing the web a day or so ago (no pun intended, in light of the story that follows), I came across a story that appeared on the … Continue reading →
Day 2: New Hampshire to Vermont After stirring the troops and wolfing down a couple cups of coffee with some maple sausage and eggs, the Gormogons drove north for about an hour. We tempted fate and began the trek in … Continue reading →
Dragonslayers, and proud of it! Many, if not all of your Gormogons know their way around a 20 sided die. Dr. J. had a standing RPG campaign with two of his childhood chums dating from their junior high school days … Continue reading →
We received an interesting appendix on World War II by SW, who writes in with some historical sobriety—just how much we fought prior to Pearl Harbor: The US suffered combat casualties long before Pearl Harbor. The earliest was the USS … Continue reading →
Island Dweller writes in to reference our exploration of FDR’s military aims. As usual, ID has some very interesting information: Most dread and awful majesty: I have read with great interest of your find of the newspaper you uncovered during … Continue reading →
Like much of America, the Gormogons vacation as well. Sometimes it’s on our own with our own families and a number of us have posted assorted accounts for your amusement and edification. First a little background to orient our dear … Continue reading →
One of the largest conceits of American history is the mythology still surrounding Franklin Roosevelt. While it has become fashionable on the Right to implicate Roosevelt for all sorts of anti-American nastiness—and mind you, often with good reason—quite a lot … Continue reading →
His name may rhyme with Heisman now, but Joeshould’ve chosen to make Theismann rhyme with“OMG, I’m never going to walk again!” It’d havebeen way, way more accurate. Unlike professional baseball in America and professional soccer everywhere else in the known … Continue reading →
Maybe if Detroit made cars as awesomeas ‘Puter’s 1972 Dodge Dart Swingeragain, they’d have remained solvent. ‘Puter just got around to reading the New York Times Sunday edition, including Nobel laureate Joseph E. Stiglitz’ piece on Detroit’s bankruptcy. Mr. Stiglitz … Continue reading →
Any excuse to blame Americans, eh? Okay, so some American broke off a finger from the Vergine e all’Angelo Annunciatore statue in Italy. Europeans are all pissed off at American tourists again. Oh, like Italians never broke off a finger? … Continue reading →
Yeah, everyone needs a Zuni Fetish doll. Actress Karen Black passed away this week. While many of you don’t remember her, and indeed, Dr. J. didn’t even know her name. One Saturday afternoon in the autumn when he was somewhere … Continue reading →
As you recall, because it only just happened, the Gormogons have been ruminating over their memories of the AMC motor company (which stood the American Motor Company motor company, apparently). For you youngsters, AMC was a car company that made … Continue reading →
Mrs. Volgi modeling the Volgimobile Dr. J. was delinquent with regard to this missive from the great ScottO, who you better be following on twitter @gscottoliver. He writes regarding Dr. J.’s recent rant on Obamacare: Most Excellent Doctor, At the … Continue reading →
Sometimes your Gormogon overlords take a break from scheming, plotting and our daily machinations to discuss ephemera around the Castle water cooler… Today’s topic of debate: The Gremlin vs. The Pacer At least we could all agree on the denim … Continue reading →
Once we repair the hyperdrive, we’re SO there! The Czar is the one who typically provides commentary on scientific journalism, however this article caught Dr. J.’s eye. The long and short of it is that yet another exoplanet (planet outside … Continue reading →
As you know by now, Obamacare is not just failing, it is basically collapsing in on itselfand most of the law has not even been implemented yet. The Czar used to hold town hall meetings in his day. Guess how we … Continue reading →
Some marriages are more equal than others… A number of workplaces across the nation including many ivory towers of enlightened thinking have, in the last several years, extended employee benefits to same sex partners. It was surmised that it since … Continue reading →
Well, thanks, Puter, for what the heck that was. Turns out this smoking conversation has inspired a lot of conversation, both in the Castle and even down at the Doublewide. JAB, after a too-long absence writes in: Your Czarness: As … Continue reading →
The Czar, Mandy and the Volgi enjoy the life prolonging balance of pork fat, beef fat and chicken fat at Portillo’s. Dr. J. hopes you’ve enjoyed your fill of smoked pork with The Czar, GorT and ‘Puter. You can get … Continue reading →
Not that kind of meat smoking, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Since both Czar and GorT have shared their secrets for smoking ribs with you, our beloved readers, ‘Puter thought he’d share his secrets as well. Czar and … Continue reading →
GorT enjoyed the Czar’s post on smoking ribs but has a few differences in his own method that GorT thought to take a minute during his 2-week vacation to write about it (plus, the rest of the family is sleeping … Continue reading →
Mr. West is Obama’s secretmortgage reform brain trust, originator of such great ideasas “Imma let you finish, butwhere’s my Hennessey at?” ‘Puter happened to be wandering aimlessly around the New York Times website when this article on President Obama’s forthcoming … Continue reading →
Dr. J. would like to wish President Bush a healthy and rapid recovery from his angioplasty and stenting today. This is an example of primary stenting of a type A lesion, no pre-dilation with a balloon. Easy peasy apple squeezy. … Continue reading →
Early last week, the Czar and the Цесаревич were discussing ribs, and we both agreed that it was time to smoke up some babybacks. Sunday, August 4th, would be a good day as we had nothing scheduled and ribs, done … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, Our friends from the Washington Times added this bon mot… Since January 2009 the country has added a net total of 270,000 full-time jobs, but it has added 1.9 million part-time jobs, according to the House Ways and … Continue reading →
Dr. J.’d rather see Obamacare upside-down than the economy upside-down… Gentle Readers, If you needed more proof that Obamacare is the Albatross™ brand millstone around the neck of the US economy, one needs only look to the most recent jobs … Continue reading →
He looks nothing like that in real life. Mark Spahn, the Lord Ruler of West Seneca, New York and frequent writer took a deep interest in Dr. J.’s Thought for the Day last week, ( 子曰無欲速無見小利欲速則不達 – for anyone who wanted to … Continue reading →
Island Dweller carefully wrote this onto a stick of gum, chewed it to get it past security, and placed this on a Castle window for us to find and reconstruct. Unless we are wrong in how we deciphered the squiggles … Continue reading →
Lots of email has arrived. Better start getting through it. First up today, Mark Spahn, Lord Ruler of West Seneca, New York, has been discussing our site with others—as you are surely doing, if you know what is good for … Continue reading →
GOTCHA! Insert Ginger joke here! Seriously folk, they’re announcing it now over on the BBC One and BBC America. If they go with Peter Capaldi, Dr. J. loved him in Lair of the White Worm, and he had a fine … Continue reading →
So Island Dweller is a bit hot under the collar. And why not? Your immenseness The news just keeps rolling in, providing more information that should be dissected – and disseminated – via your site. I humbly refer to a … Continue reading →
Urgent communique flashed in using Morse code from a weather balloon results in this followup. However, because Island Dweller flashed the Morse code in equally-timed one-second pulses to rub our face in it, the message took a while to decode. … Continue reading →
Ladies, have you dreamed of dating a tall, shiny, time traveling sentient robot? Mr. Abrams, I’m ready for my lens flare! If you do, it may be worth your time learning to speak in his native tongue: GorT, you can … Continue reading →
Mark Spahn, ersatz ruler of West Seneca, poses some questions to test the Czar’s acuity this early Saturday morning. The video is introduced by the irritating voice and now-jowly visage of sometime U.S. presidential candidate Pat Robertson, but stick with … Continue reading →
Okay, see, this should have been posted yesterday, but the Czar only got around to it today. Sorry, ID. Most illustrious majesty: “An iconic photograph of ‘The Sandman’ taken during the height of the attack that illustrates the conditions under … Continue reading →
Some videos are making the rounds on the internet that purport to show UFOs, taken in various places in the United States. Within each, clusters of lights drift across the sky…changing colors, flashing, and so on. The Czar naturally looked … Continue reading →
Island Dweller revisits us but brings a new topic, a well-groomed cocker spaniel, and a rare eight-pack of Zima. Does he know how to visit the Castle, or what? O Most Supreme Ruler: I have received a missive from Esteemed … Continue reading →
“To desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly.” – Confucius It applies in chemistry and it applies in real life. Dr. J.
Continue reading →‘Puter’s super! Thanks forasking! ‘Puter’s fond of this post’s title. It reminds him of an Aesop’s fable, like Androcles and the Lion, but more fabulous and with better clothes. More to the point, ‘Puter found this missive from Operative SMR … Continue reading →
And so it begins. If you were unaware, the Mainstream Media is beginning its process to transform the shrill, petty, dangerously vindictive and manipulatively toxic Hillary Rodham Clinton into the awesome Hillary Clinton: glamorous former first lady, brave and powerful … Continue reading →
Sir Isaac Newton is not amused with Democrats’willful ignorance of cause and effect. Ah, Democrats. In times of complexity, unease and upheaval like these, ‘Puter finds himself admiring their simplicity of mind. If ignorance is bliss, the vast majority of … Continue reading →
Just a quick couple of thoughts on the whole Pope Francis surge in the news lately. You can get the genuine religious angle here, but allow the Czar to take some potshots at the Main Stream Media. Because he loves … Continue reading →
A Progressive’s Rendition of a Republican You know how you hear that the Democrats are the ‘Party of the Little Guy’? Republicans are ‘John Q. Monocle’ sporting a top hat and a pipe as they pay sub-minimum wage to children … Continue reading →
Embarrassingly, Pope Francis forgot it was Red Dayat the Sistine Chapel. More embarrassingly, most mediaoutlets refused to accurately report Francis’ responseregarding the Roman Catholic Church’s teachings onhomosexuality. Near the end of a lengthy press conference aboard the papal jumbo jet … Continue reading →
In Sunday’s New York Times op-ed section, Steven Greenhouse shared an article on low wages paid to entry level and low skill employees. ‘Puter chose the term “article” rather than “opinion” in the preceding sentence because ‘Puter could not tell … Continue reading →
Shoot, if Dr. J. were single, he’ consider working up there! The great Emily Grace (@greatgrace84), our resident #ninjababe, brought this article to Dr. J.’s attention in which Saudi Arabia is concerned that oil exports are down due to decreased … Continue reading →
As the Mandarin once wrote, “racism stinks no matter who the victim is” Unfortunately for the reality-based community, an ugly myth remains rampant—exacerbated by the George Zimmerman verdict—that racism is limited only to white people. Here’s a racist. He doesn’t … Continue reading →
‘Puter received the following missive from Operative B.G. shortly after publishing his “Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics” post yesterday. It’s so good, ‘Puter’s running it unedited. Every single word you wrote is true (and in other news, water is wet, … Continue reading →
The Czar regrets to inform Dr. J. that using cookies for smores is not an innovation, but in fact has been around for quite a while. Quite a while, indeed. These desserts might be called s’lesses. In fact, the Czar—known … Continue reading →
Dr. J.’s kids LOVE smores. Indeed, Mrs. Dr. J. has been lobbying for a replacement fire-pit since we’ve moved to J. Abbey from Casa de J. almost a year ago, so they’ve been jonesing for smores for quite some time. … Continue reading →
Let’s wait while Mildred completesthe tabulation, norming the figuresto comport with AP’s expectations. ‘Puter awoke this morning to the mid-summer serenade of cicadas singing mingled with the strangled cries of MSNBC pundits bemoaning the inherent unfairness of our economic system. … Continue reading →
You’ve got to accentuate the positiveeliminate the negativeLatch on to the affirmativeBut don’t mess with mister inbetween Apologies to Sam Cooke but I think our dear readers will agree that it is an appropriate title once you get to the … Continue reading →
Recently over the transom came this minion memo to Confucius from Darod of Qo’noš, last seen on Twitter hobnobbing with Adam Baldwin. Here’s his missive, translated from the original Klingon. O Luminous One, Congratulations on five years of determined yet … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, You are familiar with Lady J., Dr. J.’s beautiful Cavalier, who is resting next to him as he pens this missive. You may not be familiar with the fact that he’s owned (or been owned by) three cats … Continue reading →
Island Dweller with a retrospective on the Death of Detroit; well worth your time and attention so heed: Most illustrious sultan of the steppes: This post is just a couple of observations about Detroit’s demise. I am a native of … Continue reading →
For My sake, Liberals! Don’t makeMe go all “Me throwing the moneychangers out of the Temple”on you! ‘Puter’s been thinking about fairness and social justice lately, mostly because liberals use both concepts as a bludgeon against conservative policy positions, both … Continue reading →
Gentle Readers, Your Gormogons have, since its inception, pilloried against the healthcare timebomb affectionately known as Obamacare. Dr. J. refuses to call it by its Orwellian title, the Affordable Care Act because it is neither affordable, nor caring for the … Continue reading →
The 2013 All-Castle Pride Parade Male Chorus prepares to sing its a cappella version of U2’s Pride: In the Name of Man on Man Love ‘Puter’s gotten more mail this week than he has in some time, so he’s trying … Continue reading →
…the fool, or the fools who follow him. – Obi Wan Kenobi, Star Wars I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if 55 million voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has … Continue reading →
Letters, telegrams, and Telexes (CASTLEG) of congratulations have been arriving from around the globe. A sample of those from some of our better-known open collaborators follows. Original copies of the telegrams are attached for historical interest. Apologies to future historians … Continue reading →
‘Puter lectures the newest crop of Gormogonsminions in the Castle’s lecture hall, located3.1 km from the Castle’s central hub in theWing of Larnin’ ‘n’ Nollidge ‘n’ Stuff. ‘Puter’s been on Detroit’s bankruptcy like white on rice. Like Anthony Weiner on … Continue reading →
The Czar got an interesting off-the-record email worth putting back on the record. Specifically, it regarded whether we use nicknames or pet names for political figures. For example, Rush Limbaugh can never refer to Sen. Harry Reid except by a … Continue reading →
Even Monocle Guy gets into the act! Given the amount of misunderestimated inflation going on in our economy with increasing energy costs and the devaluation of the dollar through quantitative easing, the COINS act has been proposed as a way … Continue reading →
Interesting polls lately; apparently both Democrats and Republicans alike want to replace every member of Congress. By overwhelming responses. Of course, none of that matters. Most Congressional approval ratings are pure fantasy because you only vote for your Senators and … Continue reading →
This is weird. The Czar received not one but two emails within minutes of each other regarding a claim on the Internet that Sleestak may have shot Trayvon Martin. First, Borepatch wrote in followed a few moments later by Chiefjaybob, … Continue reading →
Don’t listen to D-Day, you want a balance of small and large caps from both domestic and international companies. Flounder (yes, we really called him Flounder), Dr. J.’s fraternity brother from his days back at Ivy U. is a partner … Continue reading →
Ten years ago, Dr. J. would never have dreamed we were 10 years away from living in a land of stagnating opportunity, where our political leaders agendas are clearly and unequivocally antithetical to America’s best interests, where religious liberty is … Continue reading →
Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA)learned all she needed to know abouteconomic theory selling tax-free boozeand cigarettes on The Rez.Sen. Warren also claims to have watchedaghast as Gen. Whitside slaughtered herpeople at Wounded Knee Creek in 1890. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s your … Continue reading →
That won’t cause nightmares! She’s really nice in person! Gentle Readers, Thank you for celebrating our fifth blogiversary with us. This morning, when we awoke, we found six neatly wrapped presents from the Blogiversary Fairy™. The Blogiversary Fairy is a … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin was watching one of the finest shows on television Monday night. That’s right your Mandarin was watching Top Gear on BBC America. While your Mandarin always enjoys the show, this week’s episode was really prescient given the Detroit … Continue reading →
Something special for our 5th anniversary? How about a picture we have not uploaded before? Here you are! This is us on the National Mallsee the Lincoln Memorial?we took back in 1994. From left, theres Sleestak, Ghettoputer F.X. Gormogon, GorTechie … Continue reading →
Dr. J.’s opined in the past regarding realignment. And yet, the NHL saw fit to re-realign their teams. Here are new match-ups: First and foremost, Dr. J. likes that his beloved Flyers are in the same division as the hated … Continue reading →
Former Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick,currently serving federal prison time for whatprosecutors termed a “pattern of extortion, bribery and fraud” is more honest than theNew York Times editorial staff. ‘Puter’s been trying to limit his posting, especially after yesterday’s magnum opus on … Continue reading →
There are no words adequate to describethe immorality, evil and stupidity inherentin this liberalism, brought to you by the shrill, humorless harpies at Code Pink. ‘Puter thinks it’s cute that liberals regurgitate demonstrably false talking points. ‘Puter thinks it’s even … Continue reading →
Some five years ago, the internal deliberations of the Gormogons were made public on a “blog.” After executing those responsible, we decided to make lemonade of the lemons life handed us. With the blood of the minions responsible. (Dgapo the … Continue reading →
Detroit’s bankruptcy is, as Idiot-in-Chief Joe Biden would say, “a big f*cking deal.” It’s a big deal not only for the people of Detroit, who most certainly have the most to gain (or lose) from restructuring the failed liberal city’s … Continue reading →
The Czar isn’t sure what Island Dweller was ranting about the other day, but obviously Glinda the Good was following it pretty carefully, as she provides her thoughts in response. My Gracious Leader; In reading the contribution of Island Dweller … Continue reading →
As we celebrate the Fifth Anniversary of this site going public (at least in this time stream for GorT), each of us has been asked to post our individual favorite essay or submission over the years. While this post has … Continue reading →
THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PACIFIC RIM IS THAT IT’S LOUD. REALLY LOUD. LIKE THE LOUDEST MOVIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD. Seriously, the Czar has attended rock concerts that had more concern for inner ear sensitivity. Really. … Continue reading →
‘Puter, the Ecumenical Volgi and GorTechie founded The Gormogons on a whim five years ago, July 24, 2008. We three have been friends since our high school days, and neither time nor distance has diminished our love (fraternal love, Czar, so … Continue reading →
Island Dweller writes in: Your most noble immenseness: For some strange reason, given all the really important news that’s breaking lately (TMv.Z, IRS excesses, etc) at least one network has run a story on the “hookup” culture prevalent mostly among … Continue reading →
As we celebrate the Fifth Anniversary of this site going public (we used to do it in pencil, it was so long ago!), each of us has been asked to post our individual favorite essay or submission over the years. … Continue reading →
Hold on to the handrails, folks, GorT is fired up. It’s been one of those weeks. You know the ones – craptastic service from Comcast at GorT’s place of business causing us to be without internet access for almost 2 … Continue reading →
Five years, my your Mandarin wonders where the time has gone, but suspects that GorT has his cold metal hand in it. When your Mandarin’s fellow Gormogons asked him to recount his favorite post, your Mandarin immediately asked, “We have … Continue reading →
Shamelessly stolen from Buzzfeed, here is all you need to know about New York State. Please memorize these two simple lessons before coming to New York. Better, please memorize these two lessons before saying anything remotely related to New York … Continue reading →
That’s not the diplomatic pouch to which ‘Puter referred, Operative ML. Now putit down! Actually, this mailbag’s about the Zimmerman verdict and self-defense law. ‘Puter just enjoys revving up the humorless shrew wing of the gay lobby by linking ‘Puter’s … Continue reading →
