Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.
We all know that the mainstream media is still in bed with the President. Daily horrors spoken by Joe Biden are ignored as a matter of principle. Stories that make the President look exactly like Bush are obscured. The rise … Continue reading →
This chaps the Czar’s buttocks. Sorry, but it does. For eight years, the Czar (and millions of others) endured continual critical comments about President George Bush, and how he ignored science when it disagreed with his policies, and how he … Continue reading →
It’s in ‘Puter’s kitchen. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia … Continue reading →
Mario Loyola has an excellent essay on the state of North Korea. Therein, he writes that American foreign policy really fails to understand China and her attitudes to North Korea. When the George W. Bush administration first came into office, … Continue reading →
Well, James O’Keefe has issued a statement about whatever the hell it was he was trying to do with his video sting of CNN’s Abbie Boudreau. Go ahead and read it, if you want. Or do not bother—the result is … Continue reading →
Okay, so it turns out that photographer Mark Pain was covering the Ryder Cup, and managed—by pure luck—to take a picture a split-second before Tiger Woods hit him with a golf ball. The picture is here. Cool, eh? Okay, but … Continue reading →
Well, the Mandarin is too humble to say so himself, but this weekend another one of his projects came to a great success. He installed rockets on Saturn’s moon Enceladus. And why not? It will be available for a minimal … Continue reading →
This is exactly what is so screwed up about the entire Obama administration…from Rahm Emanuel’s farewell speech: [President Obama is] the toughest leader any country could ask for in the toughest times any president has faced. Really. How about “the … Continue reading →
Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi explain the math behind Progressive economics to a skeptical Republican senator. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia … Continue reading →
You know, with the torrent of missteps and bad PR moves and general dumbassity from the Left, you really do not need to manufacture too much more. In fact, doing so is probably a bad move. Two examples. First, you … Continue reading →
JS wrote the other day with a couple of simple questions regarding Chicago’s upcoming mayoral race. As you know by now, Rahm Emanuel will be leaving his position as White House Chief of Staff to run for mayor. It was … Continue reading →
The Czar has finished reading Judge Andrew Napolitano’s book Lies the Government Told You: Myth, Power, and Deception in American History, on loan from the Mandarin. By the way, you can check out the book on our Amazon link to … Continue reading →
DT writes in: Yeah, sure, a “spinal” implant. We all know that ‘Puter’s been pining for pectoral implants ever since he lost the castle flex-off to the Mandy This is pretty much the case, and sorry that DT was there … Continue reading →
Cass Sunstein: Some conservative legal thinkers like Justice Scalia and Justice Thomas think that the Constitution means what it originally meant. That means we should understand the document by going into a kind of time machine and capturing the public … Continue reading →
Okay, so you’ve been following Pigford v. Vilsack, right? Us neither. Basically, this is a class-action suit filed against the Secretary of Agriculture by African-American farmers for past discrimination by USDA loan programs. Back in February, the two parties settled … Continue reading →
As regular readers know, our own dear Ghettoputer is getting a spinal implant today. With these new bionic parts, he will be able to stand up to union thugs, out-of-control local politicians, liberal Catholics, and sex-obsessed school teachers with even … Continue reading →
Volgi, Your post on China’s naval buildup merely confirms what you predicted back in April. Once again, you were right. What bothers the Czar about this story is the comment that a Chinese fishing vessel somehow collided with not one … Continue reading →
President Obama says NO to the Pledge. He also says NO to lower taxes across the board. The President says NO to the return to conservatism. Boy, he really became the one-man Party of No, didn’t he? And is anyone, … Continue reading →
DT writes in: Bewitching, Bedazzling, and Bewildering Czar, It is obvious to your minions lackeys myrmidons operatives that at some future point you will appoint a leader for our great country (assuming, of course, that you wouldn’t take the pay … Continue reading →
The Czar has begun to make the point that the Right has begun to master modern media. And the horrors they find are arriving almost daily. You might think there was an epidemic of violence breaking out among the Left: … Continue reading →
Introduction The Czar is impressed with the Volgi’s story regarding the StuxNet virus, although it sounds like StuxNet is more of a trojan horse. (If readers want the best dope on high-end information security, as always your man is Borepatch … Continue reading →
Well, now and again, the Czar gets surprised. But he did not see this one coming: Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) has dipped below 50% in the polls. The Czar cannot imagine a more “safe” Democratic seat, but a recent poll … Continue reading →
From the upcoming Gormogon Book of Riddles, in which we each try to compile our favorite riddles and share them with the readers. Yes, you know you will be telling these to your co-minions at the water cooler tomorrow, even … Continue reading →
‘Puter just sent Sleestak over to the Czar’s library to tell him that preparations for his upcoming back surgery are taking up too much of his drinking time, and would the Czar be able to write up an official Gormogon … Continue reading →
The Czar was dining on chipotle chicken sandwiches yesterday back at the Castle, and the Mandarin, dining on what we charitably call the biggest pork tenderloin sandwich we have ever seen, joined him at the table. The Czar mentioned he … Continue reading →
GD writes in regarding the Czar’s piece on Rep. Halvorson: Er… waitaminute. Is that her tax-payer funded office they were organized at? I would think that is a pretty serious violation of something… And the Czar is confident Andrew Breitbart … Continue reading →
The Czar has been spending time at his home in Muscovy, away from the Castle. Yesterday, he spent the evening with Царевич, the 5-year-old Grand Duke of Muscovy. We went for a nice walk after sunset, watching the moths come … Continue reading →
Wow. This is another landmine for the Left. Read this whole bit. All right, so readers outside of Chicago know that Glenn Beck and friends did a private show in the Chicago area as a fundraiser for local GOP candidates. … Continue reading →
JTS writes with some corrections and observations: Czar, I have a few items for you: 1) It’s Eric Cantor, with a “C”: “New, powerful figures will emerge, like Christie and Ryan and Kantor and names we may not know yet.” … Continue reading →
And do they ever. Well, some of them anyway. Here is a pull quote from Telegraph.co.uk, which has a stunningly insightful article on why the Tea Party is getting things done, all denials by the Democrats and old guard Republicans … Continue reading →
And so the Czar was perusing The Chicago Sun-Times this morning over his traditional 13th-Century breakfast of моглашкы with a side of пошмацки, and was entertained to see two of the Times’ six remaining openly bleeding-heart liberal columnists each having … Continue reading →
The Czar thought of something this morning, but did not spend enough time on this. In fact, just the amount of time necessary to brush one’s teeth by astonishing coincidence. But here we go. Desire for the legalization of drugs … Continue reading →
Our sole Canadian reader, MH, write in: Mighty Czar, Given recent confusion amongst the worldwide Western political class over basic economics, human rights, free speech, Constitutions, and so forth, I have been quite busy stockpiling water, weapons and whey protein, … Continue reading →
Doesn’t 2007 seem like it was a decade ago, politically? A Republican president was being trashed by a cabal of Democrats, leftist journalists and Hollywood and university professors. A Democratic Congress was spending money stupidly, and the GOP was simply … Continue reading →
Today’s guest poster is none other than Dr. J. He can be reached for comments and questions through us here at the Big G. Rank and file Democrats in the House (and perhaps the Senate) are getting nervous about the … Continue reading →
You probably get seven or eight of those coupon packets in your mailbox every other day, like the Czar does. The Czar recently returned to his Muscovy home, having been living out of the Castle for the last several weeks, … Continue reading →
Maybe you heard. The Republicans could potentially win the Senate. In fact, the Czar thinks the odds of this are much better than the media is reporting. No, it’s no done deal, but it’s moved past “theoretically plausible” into “strong … Continue reading →
Chicago police superintendent Jody Weis may be the worst Chicago ever had. Unbelievable. Mayor Daley, fed up with corruption, scandals, and missteps in the Chicago Police Department over the years did what a lot of liberals do: they work off … Continue reading →
By now you have heard that Jeffrey Goldberg interviewed Fidel Castro for The Atlantic, an article in which Castro said that socialism does not work, and Iran’s Ahmadî-Nezhâd was a major threat to the security of the world. So in … Continue reading →
Ah, dear, the mail has been stacking up. Dr. J. writes in: You call it almost feeling sorry for the President. I call it Schadenfreude. Indeed, fair enough. From the German word Freude, meaning “fear,” and Schaden, meaning “Islamic.” Speaking … Continue reading →
Wow. You almost feel bad for the guy. Almost, we said. The Wall Street Journal has a slightly disturbing but ultimately fascinating piece on how Democratic Party candidates are trashing President Obama in their ads, emphasizing how they stood up … Continue reading →
CNN found five video games a little too weird for their taste. Well, then, fools, click here. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of … Continue reading →
You know, Mandarin lives outside Chicago, too. But keep writing your Czar with your ideas about Chicago’s mayoral situation. Okay, you want the Czar’s thoughts on Mayor Richard M. Daley’s lame-duckacy, eh? Here it is: Chicago, for all its faults … Continue reading →
Liberals sure have a funny way with words. Perhaps it is because of the odd way their brains are wired—that things going in one way and come out another. Take islamophobe. Even if you have never heard the word before—the … Continue reading →
Senator Lisa Murkowski, having lost the primary to challenger Joe Miller, is strongly considering a write-in campaign. She also, as you know, flirted with the idea of running as a Libertarian candidate, although there is some risk here because she … Continue reading →
Long Island man Arrested For Defending Home With AK-47 reads the headline. Although the picture shows AKM rifles, not ’47s. And the video clip shows a shotgun. With no photo or video of the actual weapon, who knows what the … Continue reading →
Tim Slagle writes a nice, quick read on why Las Vegas is more like Washington, DC than people realize. A lot of good pull-quote candidates, but the Czar went with this one: All the marble waterfalls, the replicas of other … Continue reading →
Psychics make a lot of predictions, but if a person were to go back and honestly compare how often they were right versus how often they were wrong, psychics would pretty much be universally dismissed as morons. However, a lot … Continue reading →
Wonder why, that is, that on this Labor Day, the Czar has linked to an episode of Phineas and Ferb entirely in Romanian. Suffice it to say, his reasons are his own. But the message was delivered. The Czar of … Continue reading →
What happens when a Catholic priest reaches out to the Gormogons and offers to do an interview? Well, frankly, this. What follows is a question from each of us, in the order they were asked, and following each is the … Continue reading →
Traveling down a highway today, the Czar spotted a billboard of this hot-looking lady blowing a kiss at the traffic below. In flowery lettering, she said, “Come visit me at Club 360.” Yeah. Or rather, a slightly mustachioed, muffin-topped, mildly … Continue reading →
Borepatch has a couple of posts worth reading. Therein, he reviews basic Marxist doctrine and compares it today. If you remember All Things Capital, the much shorter movie version of the book, you will recall Marx’s prediction that when all … Continue reading →
Turns out, not everyone has heard about Obama economic advisor Christina Romer’s more-or-less farewell speech at the National Press Club. Basically, she said she has no freaking clue how things work. That, of course, is our take away. She put … Continue reading →
GorTechie has a stunningly well-argued thought piece on globalization of the economy. The Czar chooses not to argue any of it—GorT is, of course, freaking right. Indeed, the Czar was so reluctant to appear contentious that he decided against naming … Continue reading →
And so Murkowski conceded the election yesterday, as she really should have done. Miller will be the candidate going forward. Does it seem to you that the conservative media is making too much of this, when the liberal media isn’t … Continue reading →
The Czar has received a fair amount of mail supporting his supposition that liberals need to identify with a group or follow someone who is in charge of a group. It is, of course, basic identity politics. And it bears … Continue reading →
The Czar resists discussions of religion for very complex reasons. However, sometimes enough becomes, well, enough. And he is forced to render a final opinion. A persistent question lingers (which is what persistent questions do) regarding the religious intent of … Continue reading →
Two great pieces at Commentary for you to read. First, Jennifer Rubin very correctly assesses the weird world liberals occupy, making two salient points the Czar has often made: (1) conservatives understand liberals very well whereas liberals cannot comprehend conservatives, … Continue reading →
You know what’s interesting? If you took the entire voluntary viewing audience of MSNBC, CNN, ABC News, CBS News, and NBC News, added in the regular reading population of the Daily Kos and HuffPo, threw in the dedicated readers of … Continue reading →
Dread lords, I stumbled on this today and spit out my elixir vitae… http://dowlingduncan.com/dowling-duncan-redesign-us-bank-notes/ and then linked to http://richardsmith.posterous.com/tag/dollarredeign The idea of redesigning our money to look like Euro-monopoly money, and putting the face of SAT reading comprehension section favorite … Continue reading →
Well, the Czar does not believe that this will “seal the fate of Democrats” in November, but he does agree that a proposed EPA ban on lead bullets is beyond asinine. Today, many shooting ranges prohibit the use of lead … Continue reading →
As you probably know (or ought to), TV/radio showman Glenn Beck is sponsoring an event on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial this weekend, in which he purports to feature speakers covering topics such as faith, the military, and respect … Continue reading →
Check this out. A time-lapse movie made by astronaut Don Pettit on the International Space Station. You were in there briefly, for just a frame or two. Did you catch the aurora around 16 seconds in, and again at 26 … Continue reading →
This is how it is, folks. – Congress and the President are spending us into oblivion, which they will only cure either by taxing us to extremes or letting inflation run amok. – The size of government has swelled to … Continue reading →
No, it will make sense only to a few of you. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated … Continue reading →
Seriously, if someone asks you how bad it is out there, show them this. Guy gets into NY cab, asks cab driver if he is a muslim. When cabbie says he is, passenger slashes and stabs him nearly to death. … Continue reading →
JAB nails this one perfectly. Your Czarness, As you doubtless know, I read the lofty writings emanating from the Castle every single, solitary day. I also read Mr. Puter’s postings. [Ba-dum-bump!—ed] So naturally I read and committed to memory your … Continue reading →
Alaska incumbent Lisa Murkowski appears to have lost the primary to Tea Party candidate Joe Miller. From his point of view, he clinched it, with only 2% of the votes uncounted. Of course, she is optimistic because in Alaska, that … Continue reading →
Just before the recess, Senators Jeff Bingaman (D-NM) and John Kerry (D-RIMA) put forth a bill called the Automatic IRA Act of 2010 (S.3760). Here’s how it is supposed to work. If you work in a company that has more … Continue reading →
One of the alleged JS operatives writes in: Your top ten list made me think of VDH’s list from a couple of days ago. If your writing reminds me of VDH, who is one of the conservative greats in this … Continue reading →
Why, the ever-helpful CNN has compiled a list of Ten Things President Obama Must Do in the next ten weeks before the mid-term elections. Perhaps he could take one item per week? The list is not clear, because any time … Continue reading →
Never mind the title. Regular readers know full well that this will bring in several hundred thousand hits from around the world. Ghettoputer mentioned the other day at dinner that we missed an anniversary here. In 2008, our marketing department … Continue reading →
Courtesy. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death … Continue reading →
Operative JS writes in: Will I see you at the Lou Ferrigno booth at this weekend’s Comic Con? I read a story that he comes to every event he can and that just about everyone who wants his autograph at … Continue reading →
The Czar boggles at how bad news can get for the President. As much as popular infotainment continued to trash President Bush day after day, at least it was the same five bowel movements: Bush has subpar intelligence, Bush faked … Continue reading →
Tom DeLay is prudently cautious about the upcoming elections, warning GOP supporters that a landslide victory in all areas against Democrats ain’t gonna happen. In fact, DeLay warns, the Democrats have a really solid game plan that will make life … Continue reading →
Dear ‘Puter, The public and media obsession with presidential vacations (and in addition to celebrity break-ups is one of the few mutual passions these divergent groups share) is not based on a concern that the President is unavailable. Rather, the … Continue reading →
JS and the Czar were celebrating the conclusion of Top Shot with a little brandy at the Castle lounge the other evening when JS asked the Czar if rumors of war between Saudi Arabia and Iran were possible…more so than … Continue reading →
Gush! JS writes in to tell us what you already know, but what we can’t get enough of! Keep up the great work. I don’t remember how I found your site (nationalreview.com, perhaps?), but I’ve enjoyed reading it these past … Continue reading →
It turns out that Baby Boomers may screw up the economy worse because they now have less money to spend during their retirement on goods and services. Well, the Czar is not surprised. The Boomers have been a pain in … Continue reading →
Over at National Review, Josh Barro takes a very different spin on the mosque, with some very challenging ideas. You may not agree with it, but you will be challenged by reading it, whichever side you take on the mosque … Continue reading →
EC writes in after a long while: Your Czarness: Re your splendid post, You have been mislead [sic] by persons of parties who probably should be brutally suppressed, once you get around to it. You wrote: “Actually, the President is … Continue reading →
Hi! Hi! Hi! So like my name is Medea, and i’m 14 years old and a student at J School. The Czar said i should write about what i think about blogging because he is sooo mean and makes … Continue reading →
Okay. So the President has endorsed the Ground Zero mosque. Fortunately, his endorsements tend to be a kiss of death. And so the good news is that President Obama has as much say as nearly any other American on whether … Continue reading →
JAB uppercuts this one: Your Czarness, Lay off the HaterAde! There are doubtless many reasons that we should model our lives on the Amish. You’ll never see an Amish woman subjugating herself to some slutty, sexist dress-code enforced on her … Continue reading →
Well, any good conspiracy is ipso facto ours, and any really bad one—like every single one of the 9/11 conspiracies—are the work of chuckleheads with no affiliation to us. The Czar confesses some degree of naughty involvement here. In fact, … Continue reading →
Ewww. The Volgi sends me this link, and wonders what my take on it is. Read it if you dare. Basically, some guy worked out that the Amish are thriving in a down economy because (a) they avoid litigation, (b) … Continue reading →
Once joules come into the discussion, the Czar knows he’s fighting a losing battle with electrical engineering types. Because EEs don’t care about commercial or residential electrical distribution: they want to take everything down to capacitors and resistors, where stuff … Continue reading →
Mmmmmmm. The Czar does not disagree with GorT’s definition of the ampere. But the ampere is a unit of measure, as he said, which identifies the amount of electrons that occupy a space in a given time. Amperage is how … Continue reading →
Regular readers here know the Czar loathes Hollywood celebrities and the people who fawn over them. Frankly, most actors are low-IQ front lumps who earn the inside-the-acting-industry nickname “meat puppets.” Yep: they sound like geniuses when someone writes their lines, … Continue reading →
Loyal reader JS wants you to know his four happy moments in life: 1. Watching SpongeBob SquarePants with his girls, and laughing harder than them 2. Sipping a single malt whiskey on ice (the Czar assumes scotch, because the single … Continue reading →
Yes, indeed, the Big G has been eructing some decent explanations for all kinds topics in political science, economics, energy, journalism, and vampires. One thing we still do, though, is provide you some background in topics chosen often quite at … Continue reading →
Far be it from me to criticize your wiseness-ness, but dude, at least fact check against wikipedia or something before you post howlers like this: “And note the timing of Abernathy’s book. 1989 was a point in time when folk … Continue reading →
JS gets right down to it. Between beers, that is (thanks for the offer, JS!). Are you serious about Dr. King? I mean about his adultery? I thought the case was a slam dunk that he was a serious womanizer. … Continue reading →
Sigh. Actress Patricia Neal has died at the age of 84. Say what you will about her Oscar, and her brilliant husband/author, her complex personal life, and her many fine performances. She was in one of the Czar’s favoritest films, … Continue reading →
A problem with Social Security? Who says? Michael Hiltzik of the Los Angeles Times says that rumors of fiscal problems with Social Security are a conservative trick. In fact, by his math, there is no better program out there. Social … Continue reading →
In a recent post, the Czar made reference to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Let us expand and expound a little upon this. Dr. King, and yes he had many faults,* is decidedly a geniune American hero. In fact, the … Continue reading →
Per this post. My thoughts are that Keynesians are adept at taking credit for other peoples’ successes, and there’s not a hell of a lot we can do about it. Think about the Regan [sic] revolution – he got the … Continue reading →
Gormogon heavy lifter DT writes in: I think we can probably agree that Kensians [sic] are a bunch of self-deluding cousin-lovers, who can’t seem to separate reality from their elaborately crafted models (viz. Krugman, Pelosi, etc.). The massive bailouts and … Continue reading →
