Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.
Look, as the President would say, it’s like this. We have been so busy with the Gormogonicon MMX event (estimated attendance was over one billion…beat that, nine-twelvers!) that the mail has been backing up. So here is a collection of … Continue reading →
Turns out that the Grand Moghul had his camera going, and managed to get this beautiful shot of our Raptor array. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born … Continue reading →
Thanks readers. As you know from the blowing of the shofar Monday at sunset, another Gormogonicon has ended. And MMX was one to remember. In addition to the usual celebrities, living and dead, who attended, we decided on only one, … Continue reading →
Fret not, Geep. Although your attendence will be missed, we fully understand your absence. If it is any consolation, we shall also pour a series of 40 ouncers on the curb in your memory. Except, we’re going to drink ours, … Continue reading →
You could just about spend the better part of a day here at Rep. Paul Ryan’s website. And you should. Rather than read the same gripes about the current administration, how refreshing it is to read Mr. Ryan’s proposals to … Continue reading →
Dearest readers: The Gormogons are pleased to announce that we are mere days away from GCon MMX. As you ticket holders know, we will be meeting at the Plateau of Leng this year. Festivities begin today (Thursday) at 0900 and … Continue reading →
Dear Czar, I’ve been visiting the castle for about a year now and it has maintained a spot as one of my ever-shifting group of 5W2TAGAED. Now for the obligatory grovelling…I owe each of you a debt of gratitude for … Continue reading →
Dearest Czar, Since you so recently debunked all I knew regarding West Virginia and her educational system, I thought you might have knowledge of another dearly-held area: the ocean. Many people state that we have only explored “5% of the … Continue reading →
You cannot make a person a leader by merely insisting he or she is special. You need to challenge the person on a physical, mental, and spiritual level; only then will the leader emerge. Of course, you might be hard-pressed … Continue reading →
Let us go over some comments flying over the intersphere. Andrew Breitbart owes Shirley Sherrod an apology. Shirley Sherrod owes Andrew Breitbart an apology. The NAACP owes Shirley Sherrod an apology. Andrew Breitbart owes the NAACP an apology. FoxNews owes … Continue reading →
Operative JS has not checked in for some time, having been on special assignment deep in the Sudan. JS was told not to return unless there was proof of a deep underground spacecraft made of a living metal capable of … Continue reading →
Color us not at all surprised. Finally, the Czar is not the only voice out there condemning the Obama administration as unfriendly toward science. Remember all the real and imagined missteps the Bush administration took with science? And how President … Continue reading →
Turns out teens are not the only ones “sexting”—sending naughty images and pornie-talk back and forth via mobile devices. It seems that adults and senior citizens are just as busy (or perhaps, bizzay) sexting as the kids are. By the … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative FR writes in: I just got a nice little email from Senator Warner letting me know he was looking out for little ole me by supporting the Financial reform bill. I was so comforted to know I had … Continue reading →
Unless you live in the area, you may not have heard that Chicago’s Union of Operating Engineers (150) and the Laborers’s District Council have been on strike for almost three weeks. If you live in Chicago, you know all about … Continue reading →
Regular readers know the Czar tends to roll his eyes everytime a person on the Left calls a person on the Right a racist. Every so often, though, there really is one. Take, for example, Mark Williams who claims there … Continue reading →
President Obama to the Republican Party’s opposition increasing spending on unemployment benefits: Think about what these stalling tactics mean for the millions of Americans who’ve lost their jobs since the recession began. Over the past several weeks, more than two … Continue reading →
Seems to start off good. First The Christian Science Monitor picks up the story questioning whether racial epithets were hurled at Congressional Black Caucus members on March 20. This might be the largest big-name news outfit to highlight this painfully … Continue reading →
Advertisement The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death … Continue reading →
The Czar is not suggesting anything here. But the Mandarin was making strawberry shortbread for everyone at the Castle tonight. GorT cancelled at the last minute, and went to his real home for a Charles in Charge marathon on television; … Continue reading →
Time’s Joe Klein writes a little ditty called “Sky Still Not Falling,” which explains how President Obama should not be concerned with his lowest ever approval ratings. Klein makes many valid points: too-frequent polls result in a short-term understanding of … Continue reading →
And no, he does not live in the Castle. But he can visit any time he wants. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of … Continue reading →
It is enjoyable when one liberal insults another. And so liberal jackass Joel Stein of Time attempts to write a piece discussing how immigration has transformed his home town, hoping it would make people “better equipped to debate people on … Continue reading →
Dear Czar, There have been enough mushy middle types, and even center-right types that have said, ”We’d be better off with Hillary.” Even Mrs. Dr. J, who pulls the voting lever with her right pinkie (the right most finger on … Continue reading →
Very interesting thought piece by Bernard Goldberg that addresses some buzz we ourselves have heard others whispering about: what are the odds that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton could run against Barack Obama for the 2012 Democratic nomination? And, he … Continue reading →
Secret Operative TB writes in on the Czar’s review of a few .40 caliber handguns: Sounds like you are qualified to give us your best-.40-4-teh-$ opinion. That is, if you’re willing to say, ‘cause you seem a bit reticent to … Continue reading →
We haven’t had a good gun post here in a while. So the Czar, like a few of the G-boys around here, is a fan of .40 caliber weapons. Here is a round up of things we like or do … Continue reading →
Thank Goodness the LeBron James ordeal is over, so we can go back to thinking about healthcare reform. The President cannot seem to get anything right. He seems to have, once again, bet on the losing side on immigration. And … Continue reading →
Oh My Czar, Who makes the birds sing, the rain fall, and the peasants quake, I had a passing thought the other day, and figured you’d be the best to answer it. After all, you’re the undisputed master of control-seizing … Continue reading →
Don’t forget that the Castle can be used for wedding receptions. We had a whole ceremony here on Saturday, actually. Not sure, but that might be Sean Connery as the bride. So you see, we have all types of people … Continue reading →
Thank goodness the big effing deal of Healthcare reform is over, so we can finally get the President back to work dealing with an out-of-control foreign policy, a disastrous oil spill, and an economy that continues to worsen. And so? … Continue reading →
Hot dog-eating phenom Takeru Kobayashi managed to get arrested yesterday for apparently going berserk at a hot dog eating contest he was contractually prohibited from attempting. This should divert attention away from Al Gore for a while. The Czar of … Continue reading →
The arrogance of the Obama administration is unparalleled. It isn’t so much that they don’t get it. It’s that they think you don’t get it. But Americans are way smarter than Gibbs assumes. Poll numbers show that the President is … Continue reading →
Happy Birthday, America. Without question, the United States of America remains the greatest country in the world. Even if you compile all the neat places you might otherwise consider visiting or inhabiting, the top of that list is a distant … Continue reading →
Dear Czar, Happy Independence Day! Dr. J, Mrs. Dr. J (who if you recall is even to the right of Dr. J), and the little interns went to Whole Foods today to stock up on grillables for the rest of … Continue reading →
Evidently, ‘Puter gave Operative MC the weekend off for the holiday, because MC has whacked the Czar with not one but two unrelated questions. I didn’t know this until yesterday, not having bought a ceiling fan in the last year … Continue reading →
Secret Gormogon operative, who is code named REM SLEEP is working on a secret project for us that involves…guess what? That’s right—a streak-free window cleaner. Come to think of it, we should probably re-assign him to that Dream Control project … Continue reading →
Learn more. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the … Continue reading →
Look, it’s like this. The Czar does not care for Geico commercials, because they are never as funny as their ad people think they are. But then, the Czar saw this on television Sunday, and thinks it is easily the … Continue reading →
This is a story that the Czar and the Mandarin both feel deserves more attention. Wal-Mart elected to open its second Chicago-area store, and targeted a neighborhood struggling with terrible unemployment. Wal-Mart thought that the neighborhood could use about 1500 … Continue reading →
Peggy West, a county supervisor in Milwaukee, WI, does not understand why Arizona wants to prohibit illegal immigration when it is nowhere near the Mexican border, like Texas is. People are making a lot of hay that she is a … Continue reading →
The Czar has decided that working for National Geographic magazine must be a pretty difficult gig. Beloved by everybody, the magazine is unable to publish an article that does not offend either liberals or conservatives, judging by the letters section. … Continue reading →
You may have heard that there is a whooping cough epidemic in California. Babies have died. Whooping cough is readily preventable with a basic vaccination, but requires boosters up until age 5 to be life-saving. Not being reported? The pertussis … Continue reading →
DT writes in: I thought you were older than 21! I assume this was you, Czar? Cops: Siblings brawl over butter in mac & cheese Associated PressJun. 23, 2010 02:33 PM WATERVILLE, Wash. – An argument over butter in a … Continue reading →
The always awesome Borepatch (you read him every day, right?) scours the web so you don’t have to. And today, he swung by the Castle with a wildly surreal blend of pin up art and Soviet propaganda. Evidently, yes, there … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative MC writes in on the General Stanley McChrystal incident: Mighty Czar, It appears GEN McChrystal switched to decaf versions too early. I wondered about GEN McChrystal the first time he was in Afghanistan. I think he was more … Continue reading →
The USGS reports via the always rewarding Universe Today that… The name Nancy has been approved for a crater on Venus located at 6.4N, 272.2E. Yep, you will find it there on the Hinemoa Planitia. Was it named after anyone … Continue reading →
The Czar loves his boys. And you, too. Enjoy. The Czar demands it. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and … Continue reading →
The President is becoming widely recognized as a bumbling fool. Congress is dismissed as an ineffectual, disconnected entity. Actor Steven Weber knows who to blame. The conservatives, of course. Blame? Or thank? Weber, who displays the deep sense of political … Continue reading →
So as always, you are not alone. It seems that Muslims, worldwide, are also getting weary of Obama as President. You might at first laugh, thinking that for all his bowing and scraping, he still comes off like a socially … Continue reading →
Alexi Giannoulias (D) is running for US Senator from Illinois. He is presently the state treasurer, is a long-time friend of the President, and is the subject of ongoing criminal investigations regarding his involvement with a failing bank that apparently … Continue reading →
Got two in the pouch today. And since we are talking about mail, and not groin shots, the Czar would be happy to share. Actually, the Czar is happy to share groin shots, too, if you would all kindly form … Continue reading →
Even ABC News is saying the facts won’t wash in the President’s address. Hell, Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann think the President was full of crap with this speech. Sorry to be crude. The $20 Million escrow fund? Unenforceable, and … Continue reading →
MC pitches in to the cause by sending us this: Once again, the Czar’s ability to identify putzes at long distances and time scales goes unchallenged. I was all set to cut the dad some slack on this little story, … Continue reading →
Trust us. The title of this post will garnish tons of hits. Meanwhile, and fully unrelatedly, Operative JS writes in to say: Dear Glorious Czar, I come to ask you a favor. I know that you are watching the World … Continue reading →
Dr. J. tied this to a rock and threw it through our cafeteria window, comedically perfect because GorT was just complaining that there wasn’t enough silicate matter in his eggs. Then the rock smashed through the window, covering him and … Continue reading →
Thank goodness that Abby Sunderland was found alive and well, especially after a massive international rescue attempt that the Czar concludes should be paid for by her dumbass parents. The Czar is impressed with Ms. Sunderland’s bravery and courage, particularly … Continue reading →
As reported here, the Empire State Building was lit up in red and gold to honor the Communist regime in China. Very touching. Some Catholic groups would like the tower lit up in blue and white—just for the night of … Continue reading →
Well, the Czar calls it yet again. Even the Mandarin is out there, manipulating an aurora borealis to say Go Hawks. Here in Muscovy, things are far from quiet. Fireworks are going off everywhere, and people are literally in the … Continue reading →
Little Green Footballs is doing excellent work in identifying photographs actively doctored by Reuters to hide evidence that the so-called peace activists actually had bladed weapons and were attacking Israeli commandos. Not once it seems, but at least twice. In … Continue reading →
FotG Jonah Goldberg has it exactly right when he explains what the Israeli blockade is really about and what it truly symbolizes. Better still, he asks some tough questions: if the UN is so pissed off about Israel’s collective punishment … Continue reading →
As you know, the Gormogons have many, many secret and special projects under way at any given moment. Some are so important, that we trust them not even to our favorite underlings. The Volgi, for example, returned from the 8th … Continue reading →
Largely forgotten, the Soviets landed a robot on the surface of the moon in 1970, where it operated for months doing various exploratory tests. Then it stopped functioning. Here is a picture of the robot then. Here is a picture … Continue reading →
Today is Царевич’s birthday party, so the Czar will be tied up most of the day. For some reason, that rope escape trick entertains the kids. With that, the Czar thought he should go through his backlog of reader mail. … Continue reading →
As if the Social Justice meme has not gone out of control enough, now there are protestors outside the Scripps National Spelling Bee demanding that American English spelling be made easier. The cost of clinging to traditional spellings, they say, … Continue reading →
And the hits just keep on coming and coming. And coming. As if the last four weeks have not been bad enough for the President, news comes that Gitmo’s detainee facility is not closing now, not soon, and maybe not … Continue reading →
Your immenseness, My thanks for being allowed to address your august presence. I have a question (or perhaps a comment) about, not the justness, but the method of execution of the Israeli action against the Gaza blockade runners. Your humble … Continue reading →
Well, the EU, UN, and State Department has decided that Israel has done a Bad Thing. And indeed the mainstream news media is lightning-quick to describe the event as an “attack” on “humanitarian workers,” emphatically and persistently, as if trying … Continue reading →
Gormogon special agent Graybeard writes in: Your Czar-ship, Czar-ness? Majesty? In your otherwise insightful Korean essay you make an error of fact that I assumed someone else would correct by now. Since there’s no mail listed, allow me. You say … Continue reading →
Well, Peggy Noonan pretty much nails it on the head when she says no matter what happened with the oil spill, the President was going to screw it up: When your most creative thoughts in the middle of a disaster … Continue reading →
One of the bigger, more persistent myths in the last 60 years of Korean history is the role of China. When North Korean tanks and infantry rolled into the South in June of 1950, bases all over the world went … Continue reading →
Meanwhile, Gormogon operative FJR writes in after a too-long absence: I wanted to thank you for the recent video post of Hayek & Bork. What a marvelous video. You are quite welcome. The Czar, though, had nothing to do with … Continue reading →
Dr. J writes in: GE/Rolls Royce had an advertisement on the radio asking me to call my congressman to ask him to support funding their jet engine program for the F-35. After my so-called Blue-dog Democrat voted for TARP, the … Continue reading →
A majority of Americans think the President’s handling of the oil spill has been poor. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in … Continue reading →
The Czar for one welcomes this progress. Here is Gormogon operative TD and friend, in an early experiment. Here is why we gave up on monkeys all together. You can even hear a Gormogon operative (not sure whom) comment why. … Continue reading →
And now, the stage is set. Dr. J, the Royal Surgeon of the Gormogons, has agreed to a typically friendly wager with the Czar over the outcome. The Czar wishes that all who fear and obey him know the terms … Continue reading →
You read that right. Hawaii, a usually stalwart Democratic state, has put its first Republican into Congress in a very long time. Yes, in Obama’s old district when he lived there. The Czar has had the opportunity to hear Rep. … Continue reading →
Chicago’s Mayor Daley takes a lot of crap from all sides. But the uncomfortable fact is that he is a really good mayor by Chicago standards: although hated by many on the right, one cannot escape the fact that he … Continue reading →
They might, if they were the yellow dwarf star WASP-12. One of its planets, WASP-12b, is so close to the star’s surface that the intense heat and gravitational tide are literally dissolving the planet into the star. Even then, calculations … Continue reading →
The Czar is of course a dear fan of science, but not the media. Sometimes the two collaborate to tick us off, though. Two studies caught our eye in the last 24 hours.1. Scientists link processed meats like bacon and … Continue reading →
The US state department says there “will definitely be consequences” for North Korea following the sinking of a South Korean warship in March. No kidding. There always are consequences with this administration; this is the first time, though, they seem … Continue reading →
You probably noticed a little book carousel that appears to the left. What? You haven’t clicked on it? What? Go ahead. No, it doesn’t force you to buy anything. It simply takes you to a listing of our favorite books, … Continue reading →
The oddly-still-in-business PCWorld has an…interesting online article the Czar found on how to install the Android OS on your iPhone. Apparently, it takes 32-bit Linux system (or virtual Linux machine), a bunch of uncompiled utilities available on the web, some … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative CC takes a break from monitoring Earth’s weather for us from 22,000 miles up. Monitoring. Heh. Know all that weird weather Europe had last winter? The problem with the Czar’s Spotlight on Thailand post was how much to … Continue reading →
Frankly, the Thai people being who they are, you might think a protest there would revolve around football. But the Czar confesses that he, sadly, has underestimated the seriousness of the situation there. In a country of argumentation and fighting—mostly … Continue reading →
Dear Czar, FLYERS! Respectfully,Dr. JRoyal Surgeon of the Gormogons Yep! And what about the weird symmetry of Boston going up three games, then Philly getting four in a row…and, in the last game, Boston going up three points to have … Continue reading →
The Czar frequently needs to hit a reset button once in a while, and point out where both liberals and conservatives should be agreeing, and, like today, where they need to make some changes. Advice to Liberals. 1. Republicans and … Continue reading →
Progressives start early. From Celestial Junk The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of … Continue reading →
The Czar is curious. Whatever happened to the story of an alleged affair between Barack Obama and mysterious aide Vera Baker in 2004? If it is indeed a fraudulent story, then let it die a death it deserves. But if … Continue reading →
A machine just went off in GorT’s lab while he was out. Not sure if it is related to this story in any way, but the message said All these worlds are yours except Europa. Think that means anything? The … Continue reading →
Apple likes to surprise the market with innovative technology no one expected. As a result, it likes to protect both the products it will release next year, as well as the products Microsoft will release in two years. So when … Continue reading →
Australian Broadcasting Corporation somewhat… doubts the claim North Korean scientists have produced sustainable nuclear fusion. The Czar will clear up any doubts anyone has: the North Koreans have not produced nuclear fusion. Not even close. Nuclear fusion is an expensive, … Continue reading →
Nothing predicts Americans having to reach into their own pockets better than a Europe trying to save itself. Member states of the EU are coughing up about one trillion dollars of their own money to bail out Greece, Spain, and … Continue reading →
The Czar is impressed with ‘Puter and Volgi for their reasoned argumentation. There may be a safe way to enjoy both privacy and public disclosure…and the initial questions being asked by both parties seem to favor that method. Specifically, the … Continue reading →
The Czar certainly remembers Eagle Man. But here, painfully compiled, is a pretty decent list of the Top 10 Worst Local Television Commercials of the last 10 years. And if you think the #1 worst commercial isn’t all that bad, … Continue reading →
Happy mothers day, to all you mothers who read this site. In our hearts, you are all mothers. People vary. You may still see your mothers, you may not see them any longer. You may have lost your mothers, or … Continue reading →
Your Czar and his movie buff Цесаревич have just returned from Iron Man 2. Short review? Very good film. But everyone wants to know if it is as good as the first one. Long answer: hard to say. While Robert … Continue reading →
The Mandarin was going to post on this, but something in the basement is leaking a violet-colored fluid, and he has been quite upset about whatever it was. So here goes. A story making very little headway once again reveals … Continue reading →
Your Czarness: Apropos of ‘Puter’s instruction to forward comments on his recent post to you, I wished to pass along the observation regarding Mr. Faisal’s Shazad’s unsuccessful attempt to wreak mayhem on the populace: His explosive device “faisalled.” With extreme … Continue reading →
