Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.
Lots of folks have compiled examples of the media blaming initial acts of terror, crime, outrage, or basic incivility on “right wing extremists,” a term itself ginned up by the Department of Homeland Security on the persistently underwhelming Secretary Napolitano. … Continue reading →
The Czar thinks this says it all: THIS. “This week is so bad that an Elvis-impersonating conspiracy theorist sent poison letter to Obama and THAT’S LIKE THE TENTH BIGGEST STORY.” — Laura Mitchell (@ljmabouttown) April 19, 2013 Now, for you … Continue reading →
An interesting quote from millimeter-deep thinker Ezra Klein: The gun vote failed because of the way the Senate is designed. It failed because the Senate wildly overrepresents [sic] small, rural states and, on top of that, requires a 60-vote supermajority … Continue reading →
Maybe you missed all of this. No one would be surprised. Evidently, a bunch of folks on Reddit got to discussing some of the various photographs of the Boston Marathon crowd, and began to see some suspicious similarities and odd … Continue reading →
So Hillary Clinton is being suggested to run for President right over the cooling embers of the Greatest President Evah, Barack Obama. The latter is evidently happy serving as a doormat to the former, as the only re-elected one-term president … Continue reading →
Did you know Hillary Clinton is going to be President in 2016? And did you know that she is such a shoe-in that there is no point even considering a primary? Yes, it is only 2013 but the facts are … Continue reading →
By the time you read this, you already will have heard 180° changes in the reporting, as to whether things happened or did not, whether certain parties were responsible or not. Predictably, the event was politicized by both sides in … Continue reading →
And lo, verily does Island Dweller throw down a little jotting: Most illustrious Sultan of the Steppes: Your faithful minion, though he be surrounded by water on all sides, still manages to maintain periodic contact with a former co-laborer for … Continue reading →
Think you know what it takes to put together a Ten Things You Didn’t Know list? After a short, challenging introduction that says really nothing, you decide to see if indeed the author has some arcane bit of trivia you … Continue reading →
This is a particularly embarrassing Tweet: On Gosnell “blackout,” where were conservatives before this week? salon.com/2013/04/12/con… via @salon — Donna Brazile (@donnabrazile) April 12, 2013 It is difficult to determine whether CNN’s shockingly clueless Donna Brazile really believes this herself, … Continue reading →
By now, you already know way too much about the Kermit Gosnell horror story—and you heard about it from conservative blogs, Twitter, and Facebook. You certainly have seen or heard little coverage from the MSM. Let us be certain—they are … Continue reading →
Well, you fish for compliments and you get some. Although it is possible there is a large degree of sarcasm in the following: O Dread and Awfully-Humble Awfulness: We the Minions are indeed impressed by your marksmanship. We also hope … Continue reading →
Well, you put the Царица in charge of date night, and you gotta expect something like this. After a superb dinner at a nearby Szechuan place, the Czar was asked to drive to our favorite shooting range for an evening … Continue reading →
From, of course, Dr. Boli. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all … Continue reading →
The only thing common to Common Core education standards is that there seems to be something in it to annoy everyone. Forward! Go all loyal student with Common Core teachings to make smart America for all envy of world! Unless … Continue reading →
The President is of course entitled to say any dumb thing he wants. But he lowers himself into idiocy with his speech about gun control. Most damning is his throwaway, cutesy-pie comment that if there was one thing we could … Continue reading →
The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of … Continue reading →
Excellent views from the upper levels. And they finally got rid of that crane at the top. By the way, for some good laughs, read the reviews. A modest proposal arrives via carrier pterosaur outside yon Castle window: Dear Czar … Continue reading →
Long-time brainpowerfulness BG writes in: Your Czariness – Jonah Goldberg initially pointed me in the direction of Castle Gormogon. So it’s immensely satisfying to me when someone responds to a post of mine as below. rulierose @bg • 20 hours … Continue reading →
Conservatives, by and large, seem to be having all sorts of moments of clarity lately. You know—maybe we need to be a little more honest about things. Likewise, it is probably time for liberals to do the same thing. Here … Continue reading →
Some people have been kvetching about the Associated Press’ decision to change their descriptions of individuals present in our country illegally. Sure, a lot of the initial criticism ran, use some euphemism that sanitizes what they’re doing! Nice job, AP. … Continue reading →
These came up while the Czar was washing blood off his hands in the men’s room. First up is JAB, who pops up from the Doublewide to tell an awesome story: Dear Mr. Mandarin and Your Czarness: Reading your “Literal … Continue reading →
In other good news, China is massing troops and having air and naval craft patrol their border with North Korea. One Chinese restaurant owner (one wonders what’s on the menu there) in a nearby border town expressed amazement over the … Continue reading →
You weren’t the only one playing brackets this weekend. Take a look at the Mainstream Media’s bracket picks. How many did you call correctly? The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The … Continue reading →
There has been some fair criticism recently that Americans are not taking the North Korean situation seriously. Understandably, Americans kind of tune out the raving idiocy that pops out of that country on borrowed Japanese social media. Additionally, many South … Continue reading →
Whenever gun control is brought up in a public venue, someone on either the Left of the Right brings up the need for mental health reform. After all, the Newtown shooter should have been in treatment; instead, he was out … Continue reading →
A chat at the Gormogon lobby bar the other day between Mandarin, Borepatch, and the Czar encouraged the Czar to paint this rather interesting analogy. Indeed, this might be one of the most enduring images of the debate—rather than the … Continue reading →
By now, even Tibetans who live in caves and eat rope for a living have heard that Obamacare is an utter disaster. And that isn’t just the folks who can correctly add two numbers together and digest more than website … Continue reading →
Stanley Kurtz over at the NRO Corner has an interesting thought: is the Left producing its own Tea Party? The ultimatum delivered last week by California billionaire Tom Steyer to Massachusetts Democratic Senate candidate, Rep. Steve Lynch–disavow your support for … Continue reading →
From, of course, Dr. Boli. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all … Continue reading →
In another futile attempt to explain modern liberal thought for our more right-wing readers (hey, everybody!), the Czar reminds everyone that while conservatives tend to see things in simplistic, black-and-white terms, the liberal mind tends to picture things in fuzzy … Continue reading →
Psychologists ought to be studying the strange disconnect between the Right and Left when it comes to perception of media bias. The Right has, for a long time now, been supplying fairly inarguable evidence that the news media is tilted … Continue reading →
A middle school principal in Ipswich, Massachusetts, has elected to cancel the honors students’s induction ceremony because it makes the other kids—who didn’t get good grades—feel bad. No, of course this is real. Instead, they will be honored during an … Continue reading →
The Czar is so bad at responding to mail lately that you’d think he was Mandarin. Anyhow, we have indeed been getting mail and it needs some attention. BG writes in to send us a photograph (right) of an Audi … Continue reading →
Know what has gotten to be so obvious that it has become a cliché? Progressivism. Notice how every state in the union suddenly has a bill on the table about firearms. And notice how oddly similar they all are. Americans … Continue reading →
Remember about thirty-five years ago, when the Sequester was going to utterly destroy societies, completely annihilate Western thought, and thoroughly split infinitives? And it didn’t happen, and the President plunged in the polls? And then he made a series of … Continue reading →
Some buzz is going on about this show The Bible. It appears to be based on a book by the same name, but the Czar could not locate the author’s name. Okay, so maybe there will be a second season … Continue reading →
The Czar has mixed feelings about CPAC, with the negative running toward whether it has gotten too big for its own organizational abilities, and the positive of course being that it is a major reminder to all people—right, center, libertarian—that … Continue reading →
Sundry thoughts too long for Twitter. So North Korea is accusing the US and South Korea of cyber attacks on their sole Macintosh SE/30. Um, yeah we are. They forgot Japan, by the way. Our Gormocomputer in the basement indicates … Continue reading →
Very long-time fan (so listen up, yo) ScottO writes in to a couple of us: Dear Dr. J., and with deferent regard to His Awfulness The Czar, You can learn a lot about time and the Earth’s position in space … Continue reading →
The Czar sent a note over to the mighty Borepatch the other day, as this sort of thing is more up his alley. That is, one of Borepatch’s many areas of study is how the two dominant political parties have … Continue reading →
‘Puter nailed this article to the Czar’s locked bedroom door, in hopes we saw it. We had not, and indeed we are creeped out a little by it…only because it was nailed to the inside of our locked door. Most … Continue reading →
Long-time minion and mastermind Chiefjaybob writes in: Oh Mighty and Dreadful The Czar; Dali wasn’t kidding when he painted this to show what a freaking pain DST is. Read on. I come to you as a most humble minion, and … Continue reading →
We cover this from time to time, but one of the more frequent questions we get or see others asking relates to liberal Democrat hypocrisy. You already know the formula: “it was horrible when Republicans did X, but okay when … Continue reading →
By now, you have all seen Confucius’* post about the 265th Gormogon Papal Conclave Lottery. The Czar has participated in almost 70 of these, and certainly it can be hard to choose among them. So the Czar has put together … Continue reading →
Lost in the excitement of Rand Paul’s extremist violent overthrow of the Senate the other day was The Dinner, as it is now known. Okay, okay—the Czar is aware that a lot of Tea Party Twitt’rhetoric is ripping into this … Continue reading →
Senator Rand Paul pulled an age-old stunt out of his bag of tricks and executed a genuine filibuster yesterday. Surprise, surprise, that a Senator droning on CSPAN-2 would score millions of viewers more than MSNBC had all day. The Czar … Continue reading →
JAB, about whom the Mandarin, Dr. J., and ourselves were just speaking, has this carved into some poor slob’s entrails and sent up to the seventh floor: Your Czarness: For ‘Puter’s reference, here is someone else who is decidedly not … Continue reading →
An undercover field report, which the Operative delivered through an ingeniously complicated plan of (a) converting it to base74 notation, (b) engraving the characters on a grain of rice, (c) inserting it into a cotton swab, (d) embedding the swab … Continue reading →
Much ado is being made about an 87-year-old California woman who died in a retirement home because nursing staff were prohibited by employer policy from performing CPR on her. The story is certainly a tragedy because there is every indication … Continue reading →
Quick—name a President who did better in his second term than his first. Right. Now name a President who did at least as well in his second term as his first. Tough, eh? Well, obviously Bush and Clinton were heavily … Continue reading →
The Czar was in need of new boots lately, as his previous pair of boots lost their ability to keep out snow and blood. Any excuse to go Bass Pro Shop, really, as they have very nice inexpensive and not … Continue reading →
You kids too young to remember Watergate will probably not remember Bob Woodward (or Edward Woodward, for that matter). Woodward was one of the two reporters (the other was Carl Bernstein, or Leonard Bernstein, for that matter) who brought down … Continue reading →
The Czar loves his intelligent and thoughtful readers because they often write him intelligent and thoughtful letters. And this is good because the Czar can copy and paste them and do no additional work. In fact, the Czar can pretty … Continue reading →
Only four months after the election, and the suggestions to the GOP on how to regroup and reorganize have recently gotten very good. And consistent: we talked about them here already, but the same ideas keep popping up again and … Continue reading →
What a clown act the President has become; he isn’t seriously fooling his most loyal followers with his political stunts, and by God even the left-most media is calling him a nutjob. In unrelated—seemingly—news, one of the most historically corrupt … Continue reading →
The Czar has read and consumed your publication since the April 1979 issue. He has subscribed without fail since 2000, but is compelled to conclude he will not be renewing his subscription. In that time, he has seen the publication … Continue reading →
The mighty Borepatch pulled a chair up by the lobby bar, took a sip of his freshly made Yoo Hoo mojito, and told the Czar: About your latest missive, I couldn’t help but think that while large parts of the … Continue reading →
Long-time reader BG let us know via Twitter that HuffPo is reporting “Scientists Create Zombies in Lab,” and adds that this should be like shooting fish in a barrel for us. This story is not at all limited to HuffPo, … Continue reading →
Long-time reader Mark Spahn of Seneca, New York, is head of our recently inaugurated Caring & Sharing Division. He notified the Czar of a genuinely weird story involving the Czar’s long-time annoyance—the Department of Homeland Security, under Janet “Concrete Blonde” … Continue reading →
The MSM is at it again. Or rather, still. A physics guy familiar with the recently discovered (?) Higg boson said that the mass of the particle is about 126GeV, which potentially leads to instability in its mass. As a … Continue reading →
The Czar was having dinner the other night with a police detective with whom he is well acquainted. The Czar asked if he was the one who bought up all the Czar’s ammunition. The detective smiled politely and mentioned how … Continue reading →
Probably not well. History likes to divide presidential analysis into two camps, at least in the Czar’s experience. Sometimes history immediately dumps on the guy: Carter, Fillmore, Pierce, and Buchanan, for example, generally were excoriated while they were still sliding … Continue reading →
The ever-busy D.T., our spiffy and smiling Myrmidon wrangler, writes to us with a surprisingly accurate opening line: Oh Wise, Mighty, Terrible, Yet Surprisingly Cuddly When the Mood Strikes Him Czar, I read this account of a “racial brawl” at … Continue reading →
Not to undo the entire crux of Dr. J’s rational polemic, in which he says that non-letter grades are indeed desirable for little ones, allow the Czar to quote himself: And certainly simpler systems work for K-3 because kids are … Continue reading →
Part of the game’s weird charm are the clunky-looking graphics. But the game isn’t intended to dazzle you, but to provide a powerful learning environment. Царевич has developed a crazy affinity for the game Minecraft. If you don’t know what … Continue reading →
Would North Korea be public about its nuclear test if Mitt Romney had been president today? This seems a fair question. Another question: would they be conducting a nuclear test at all? This one is probably yes, given that the … Continue reading →
O Mighty Czar, At risk of further inciting your wrath, I have an observation regarding the “standards-based scoring” post. This final Kuzniewski quote: The zero is the most damning of grades because it’s the lowest and has the most significant … Continue reading →
ScottO writes in in response to the Czar’s review of the Ruger P89. Dread and Powerful Czar, I have one thing to say about your italicization of bona fide: Merci beaucoups! FWIW, bona fide is not recognized as English by … Continue reading →
If you merely read a transcript of Dr. Carson’s conservative revival speech, you will have missed a critical nuance. The President was sitting one person over from Dr. Carson as the good Doctor lambasted the entire liberal progressive philosophy operating … Continue reading →
The Czar is on a full-tilt rage this morning, so look out. The Czar is wont to read local newspapers; as you know, he thinks the entire newspaper industry is a dying business model, but enjoys reading the wit and … Continue reading →
As you know, the Czar was born halfway through the 13th Century and has seen much. So have his parents, who are ridiculously ancient. Anyway, his sainted parents are looking to move to a retirement community, which they should have … Continue reading →
Because despite all the back-and-forth on the Second Amendment lately, we have not had a bona fide gun review on here for a while. And yes, the Czar is the kind of guy who italicizes bona fide even though it … Continue reading →
One of the best comments about Ron Paul was sent to us some time ago by Bluesun, who forwarded us a comment that Ron Paul was a broken clock who was right 23 hours a day. The Ron Paul clock … Continue reading →
Even a liberal-friendly polling organization like Pew is announcing that 53% of Americans think the federal government is threatening our freedom. And yet 51% of us voted for the guy taking them away. Anywhere from two-thirds to three-quarters of Americans … Continue reading →
Very alert and long-time follower mastermind EC writes in: Okay: This is much ado about nothing, but four points: 1. President Obama is depicted firing an over and under shotgun. Why is there a wisp of smoke about 8″ back … Continue reading →
See? The President is too macho and tough! Like Reagan! Even though we were told that there were no pictures of the President shooting, suddenly someone comes up with one in the same amount of time it would take to … Continue reading →
Dear Cub Scouts of America, A quick note about your most-famous annual event, the Pinewood Derby. It really needs to stop. As such, both the Царевич and Цесаревич will not be participating this year, even though they each came up … Continue reading →
This morning, we have a pair of emails to answer. First up is JAB, who scribbles in from the Double-Wide to point out that she totally missed the Czar’s warning about writing in to correct him. Your Czarness: I fear … Continue reading →
RKB writes into the Czar with an appropriately supplicating tone: Oh great and dreadful Czar, She isn’t using a pump shotgun, which tells the Czar she knows about shooting clays. Bet she knows the President lied about his experiences based … Continue reading →
The other Illinois governor still behind bars, George Ryan, ended his stay in a federal prison and is now in what criminal justice types curiously term a Halfway House, deep into Chicago. About the only bipartisan thing Illinois government does … Continue reading →
Ah, well, it looks like the liberal whackjobs are after the Boy Scouts again, and are fostering the idea that Scouts might consider allowing gays to lead scouting programs. True? False? Actually, these things do not matter to the liberals; … Continue reading →
A bipartisan group of eight senators—including some conservative Wunderkinder—has met and put together a large bill for immigration reform. Rumors are that both Democrats and Republicans understand the immigration system is broken and could be easily fixed with some common … Continue reading →
One thing all of your hosts share here is a love of writing. Except, of course, Mandarin; he prefers shouting at the computer, especially when he reads Drudge. But he’s actually a skilled writer as well. Our site has the … Continue reading →
Have you read Governor Bobby Jindal’s kick-in-the-pants speech from Charlotte? Read the whole thing, especially if you want to have a really good day. In the speech, Gov. Jindal lists seven things that Republicans need to do to win elections. … Continue reading →
First, let us be perfectly in sync: the entire idea of women serving in active combat roles is a distraction, pure and simple, by the Obama administration. Second, like most of these awesome, super-cool ideas by the Obama administration, this … Continue reading →
When experts reconstruct disasters, they continually highlight how a series of minor events can compound into a gigantic collapse later on. A safety switch is left off a day before an unusual cold snap occurs; an inspector calls in sick, … Continue reading →
Democrats are currently high-fiving each other, not just because President Obama issued empty promise after empty promise to his Progressive Liberal base during his Inauguaration speech, but because Democrats have a foot on the throat of the Republican Party—and the … Continue reading →
The Czar despises trendy phrases to describe concepts in psychology or sociology. He still does not use “sound bite,” for example and that phrase is older than many of our readers. However, he is inclined to think there is merit … Continue reading →
Essential Update at the end Well, now that Americans have forgotten about Sandy Hook and are all excited excited excited for the President’s inauguration tomorrow (Obama 2.0? More like Obama 1.1), okay, well, now the story is getting out that … Continue reading →
Well, a lot of our mailbags have been filling up with gun talk, but not because any of us wanted to go there, but because once again the Left dragged us there so they can replay another failed lecture on … Continue reading →
History will vindicate my memory.—James Buchanan The worst president ever.—History The suggested gun rights legislation should be of enormous interest to political bird watchers like yourselves. Perhaps you don’t own or even care about firearms; even so, what’s happening now … Continue reading →
For those of you who read our site here, but do not follow us on Twitter, you might be wondering what our reactions to the ObamaScare report were. “No, no, Jimmy!” Relax—it’s a Photoshop, Mr. President. Briefly: a tremendous waste … Continue reading →
Some time past, the Czar provided a seven-part harangue against the Republicans and what they need to do to start winning some damn elections. The GOP is doing some of them, but none of them quite well; however, many other … Continue reading →
A big welcome back to LTC Dan, from whom we have not received a message in far, far too long. We appreciate the Colonel’s presence here at the Castle, and are most interested in his question: Sir, I found “Reading … Continue reading →
Chief Jay writes in with a disturbing amount of supplication, even for a power-mad despot such as the Czar. Check out the second sentence in particular: Mighty, Fearful Czar and Fellow Inmate of the Peoples Democratik Republik of Illinois; I … Continue reading →
IBM’s Watson, as the rendered by an artist based on the limited reseach done by the Czar. Remember Watson, the IBM computer that proved Alex Trebek really is an inch-deep pseudo-intellectual? Well, he wound up in trouble with the law. … Continue reading →
President Obama started with a much weaker economy than I did. No President – not me or any of my predecessors could have repaired all the damage in just four years. Also sprach Bill Clinton to the nation at the … Continue reading →
The Czar has good news for Republicans. Unfortunately, the Republican Party has no clue what to do about this and is almost certain to miss the opportunity as well as fail to understand why this was good news. And so … Continue reading →
