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Well done, cookie pushers!

The Gormogons Posted on March 6, 2014 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 6, 2014

The State Department gets a lot of flak, much deserved, but much undeserved, as its job is often to play the good cop or be the make-nice agency of the government. What it rarely does is load both rhetorical barrels … Continue reading →

Posted in Crimea, Department of State, Lies Lies and More Damn Lies, Russia, Ukraine

Through the Gates

The Gormogons Posted on January 10, 2014 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

And it wouldn’t be Thursday without Island Dweller spotting something to tick us off. He brings up the subject of former Defense Secretary Gates: Most illustrious, dread, awful, and so on – Your slightly chilled minion here in the hinterlands … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Department of Defense, Department of State, Hillary Clinton, Island Dweller, Military, The Obama Amateur Hour

Some Experience Required

The Gormogons Posted on November 10, 2013 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

While the President is furiously trying to figure out what cookies are and why his new website needs to have them deleted, our Secretary of State is ruining the entire planet. You might have missed this story even though its … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of State, Iran, Israel, Kerry Amateur Hour, Saudi Arabia, The Obama Amateur Hour

Like The Drip, Drip, Drip Of The Raindrops

The Gormogons Posted on June 10, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

 Cole Porter, who understoodwitch hunts, would not be amusedby our president’s disregard of Americans’ right to be secure fromunwarranted government invasionof our personal lives. ‘Puter loves him some American standards, like Night and Day, sung by Ella Fitzgerald, which … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, Barack Obama, Bill of Rights, Department of Justice, Department of State, Intelligence Community, Internal Revenue Service, Musicals, National Security, Scandals, U.S. Constitution

I’ll Take ‘Puter Potpourri For $1,000, Trebek

The Gormogons Posted on June 6, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Only Trebek knows the secrets ‘Puterholds deep within his, tiny, shriveled,black heart. And within ‘Puter’sno-no hole, but that’s another story. Wow.  ‘Puter gets buried under an avalanche of work for a few days and comes back to find some truly … Continue reading →

Posted in 'Puter, 'Puter's Always Right, Barack Obama, Castle Gormogon, Constitutional Law, Department of State, Eric Holder, Gormogon Infighting, National Security, Rant, Scandals

Masters of the Social Media?

The Gormogons Posted on February 5, 2013 by GorTApril 6, 2014

The Democrats have been lauded as being on top of their social media usage when compared to the Republicans.  However, I will say that they generally have ended up opening doors for online mocking (one of our specialties) by poor … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of State, Kerry Amateur Hour, Mocking, Twitter

Obama Gives Condoleezza Rice A Shout Out In His Inaugural Address

The Gormogons Posted on January 22, 2013 by 'PuterApril 6, 2014

Tough as nails, smart as a whipand beautiful, to boot. Thanks,President Obama, for reminding uswhat competent government officialslook like! In President Obama’s oddly angry and confrontational Inaugural Address yesterday, he spoke the following lines: We are true to our creed … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Condoleezza Rice, Department of State, National Security

Point Forward for the Washington Generals

The Gormogons Posted on December 21, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

So it seems that Carter’s National Security Adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski thinks that Senator John Kerry as Secretary of State and former Senator Chuck Hagel as Secretary of Defense would be a heckuva powerful and effective team. The Senate should consider … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of Defense, Department of State, John Junjus Kerry, Predictions

Too Little, Too Late

The Gormogons Posted on October 16, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Although the MSM has been covering it, and making it an upper-importance story, you still might have missed that yesterday Secretary of State Clinton took full responsibility for the failure of security at the Benghazi safe house. Not Egypt or … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of State, Hillary Clinton, Libya, The Obama Amateur Hour

Explaining the Egypt/Libya Contradictions

The Gormogons Posted on October 11, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

A lot of weird stuff is coming to light about the Benghazi attacks. By now, we have already established what happened, down to which room the Ambassador was hiding in, and how he was forced out with fire. This is … Continue reading →

Posted in Barack Obama, Department of State, Egypt, Foreign Policy, Hillary Clinton, Libya, Mitt Romney, Obama Administration

Dept. of State’s “Unmitigated” Failure

The Gormogons Posted on September 25, 2012 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

Mr. Philippe Reines, who evidently has no idea how to manage himself, let alone the media. No, you didn’t elect him. The news about the Libyan attack keeps getting worse. The Czar was particularly troubled at an emerging story that … Continue reading →

Posted in CNN, Department of State, Hillary Clinton, Journalism, Libya, Main Stream Media, Media, Stupid People, The Obama Amateur Hour

State Department Wins One

The Gormogons Posted on November 19, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 6, 2014

The latest issue of Foreign Policy magazine had a lengthy piece by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton regarding the United States’s shift in attention from the Middle East to the Pacific Rim: that China, and not only China but a … Continue reading →

Posted in China, Department of State, Foreign Policy, Hillary Clinton, Hooray, South Pacific

Weiner Must Resign. Here Is Why.

The Gormogons Posted on June 9, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

There has been a little bit of consideration on both sides of the aisle that maybe Congressman Weiner deserves a pass on this incident. After all, this is a private matter between Congressman Weiner and his wife; it doesn’t affect … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of State, Government Secrets, Hillary Clinton, Politicians, Stupid Politicians

RIP Warren Christopher

The Gormogons Posted on March 19, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Back in the old days when a Secretary of State worked with the President, Warren Christopher had the job. He has passed away at 85. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of State, Requiescat in pace

JAB: How To Talk Democracy

The Gormogons Posted on February 11, 2011 by The Czar of MuscovyApril 7, 2014

Your Czarness: While your good buddy Hosni enjoys a little rest and recuperation in Sharm el-Shaik, I thought it might be a good time for Those-Who- Dwell- in-Castle -Gormogon to use their manifest powers to tidy up a few loose … Continue reading →

Posted in Declaration of Independence, Department of State, Egypt, Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden

Cherchez les femmes!

The Gormogons Posted on August 23, 2010 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.April 7, 2014

Hey, rah-rah, women at the State Department, but does anybody worry about the image this might present to profoundly sexist cultures? Or calculate which negotiations a sex imbalance is likely to hinder or hurt? One would think sending an all-woman … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of State, Sexism, Women

State Department Fail

The Gormogons Posted on July 14, 2010 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

The State Department caved today, allowing United States citizens living on Iroquois reservations to travel under Iroquois passports rather than under United States passports, as all other United States citizens must. Well, holy crap. Thanks, Secretary Clinton and your brain-damaged … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of State, Hillary Clinton, Stupid Politicians

A Pocketful of Mumbles

The Gormogons Posted on May 19, 2010 by 'PuterApril 7, 2014

Such are promises. All lies and jest. That pretty much sums up the Obama Administration’s “win” in getting the United Nations Security Council members to agree in theory to meaningless watered-down sanctions. See specifically the chart at the end of … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of State, Iran, Obama Administration

Re: Wang Terminals

The Gormogons Posted on July 14, 2009 by GorTJuly 14, 2009

With regards to the humorous post about running Firefox, it is amazing to see that certain parts of the government are savvy enough to run it while others aren’t. However, I can’t really disagree with the point that installing / … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of State, Microsoft

Amazing they’re not still running the Wang terminals…

The Gormogons Posted on July 14, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 14, 2009

…that they used to have. (They were ridiculously antiquated even then.) From a “town hall” at the State Department: MS. GREENBERG: Okay. Our next question comes from Jim Finkle:Can you please let the staff use an alternative web browser called … Continue reading →

Posted in Computers, Department of State, This browser really sucks

Cookie pushers push cookies

The Gormogons Posted on July 5, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.July 5, 2009

It’s what they do. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Appearance of Weakness, Department of State, North Korea

That’ll Teach ‘Em

The Gormogons Posted on June 24, 2009 by The Czar of MuscovyJune 24, 2009

In another stunning show of amateurism, the White House is no longer offering invitations for Iranians to visit any July 4th celebrations around the world (see your Volgi, below, for a similar degree of shock). This is in response to … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of State, Iran, The Obama Amateur Hour

Cookie pushers push cookies at Iranian government. Literally.

The Gormogons Posted on June 23, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 23, 2009

Ladies & Gentlemen, your Department of State: WASHINGTON (AFP) — The United States said Monday its invitations were still standing for Iranian diplomats to attend July 4 celebrations at US embassies despite the crackdown on opposition supporters.President Barack Obama’s administration … Continue reading →

Posted in Appearance of Weakness, Department of State, Fallacy of Foreign-Political Egocentrism, Iran, Mmm…barbecue…

Well played, State!

The Gormogons Posted on June 17, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.June 17, 2009

They asked Twitter to postpone maintenance to keep the Iranians in touch. Beautiful. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. www.gormogons.com

Continue reading →
Posted in Department of State, Iran, Twitter

Ok, I know what “overseas” means.

The Gormogons Posted on March 25, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 25, 2009

And I know what a contingency is. And certainly, “operation” is easy enough to understand. But the lamely-labelled “Global War on Terror” is now the “Overseas Contingency Operation.” And that’s close to meaningless. “That thing we do abroad if or … Continue reading →

Posted in Deconstructionism, Department of Defense, Department of State, Foreign Policy, Military, The Obama Amateur Hour

State or DOD gets some propaz

The Gormogons Posted on March 6, 2009 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.March 6, 2009

The government of Kyrgyzstan is waffling on kicking us out of Manas AFB. I suspect means we’re doing a good job at saying, “Hey, look, you remember, oh, say, 1862–1991 when the Russians ran things around here? You sure you … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of Defense, Department of State, Diplomacy, Kyrgyzstan, Manas Air Base, USAF

Nightmare Cabinet—5.1

The Gormogons Posted on October 27, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.October 27, 2008

Abashed, your Volgi withdraws “Red” Ron, as ‘Puter had already covered the DOD. Instead, I’ll take as Secretary of State, that world-travelling leader who’s met with many heads of state, “Minister” Louie Farrakhan. He’s in Obama’s Rolodex, and by virtue … Continue reading →

Posted in Department of State, Farrakhan, Libya, Mu'ammar al-Qaḏḏāfī, Nation of Islam, Obama Administration

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