What are your revolutions resolutions for the New Year? No, don’t write in with them, because none of us really care. That was our resolution for 2013, which we mostly upheld. The Volgi: He resolves to be less rococo and … Continue reading →
Well as much as President Obama and #PajamaBoy wanted us to talk about Health Care over the holidays, GorT and his friends and family didn’t touch the subject (aside from the brief jokes about how bad the rollout is going … Continue reading →
Long-time readers know of the Czar’s fondness for Thanksgiving; he is pleased to hear from more and more people—including strangers—echoing the same sentiment for the same reasons: Thanksgiving is the perfect holiday. Don’t these seem like nice people? Your family … Continue reading →
A classic, written by the Mandarin, in 2010. We had a beautiful Halloween over at the Castle, much like we do every day. The kids came by in good numbers, which we’re happy to see again. We all took turns … Continue reading →
As we celebrate the Fifth Anniversary of this site going public (we used to do it in pencil, it was so long ago!), each of us has been asked to post our individual favorite essay or submission over the years. … Continue reading →
Today, as you know, is Flag Day. Although the Czar was born several centuries ago in the steppes of Russia, he was quick to follow the progress of the American Revolution. We came to this country in 1776 and have … Continue reading →
Island Dweller condemns us all to a fiery future with today’s letter, which arrived yesterday but we were too busy being busy: Your majesty: Today is (legally) Memorial Day. I have not as yet seen any postings on your site … Continue reading →
2012 was quite the year, and we certainly hope 2013 is much easier, fruitful, and relaxing for you. It won’t be, by a long shot, but we can hope regardless. Meantime, as we sit between disasters, let us look back … Continue reading →
Greetings. cretins! Today is Рождественский сочельник, or Christmas Eve. This is a big deal for people with Slavic blood; in fact, outsiders might think that Christmas Eve is a bigger deal than Christmas Day for Slavs. This is understandable: Christmas … Continue reading →
The Mandarin is releasing some more of his weird experiments on animals. Note for the squeamish: this is almost two minutes long, but the minute oughta give you a sense of the whole thing. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію … Continue reading →
It is a beautiful day, probably, where you are, and you should not be loitering about the Castle, regardless of your faith. But if you must read something, please read Borepatch’s essay, “Triumph,” which has one of the best interdenominational … Continue reading →
The Czar may be an iconoclast and rainer of parades, but a jerk he is often not. The Czar is not at all opposed to Kwanzaa, which ended a day or two ago, but would suggest that its year is … Continue reading →
With everybody back at the Castle, the Czar thought he would stroll around and see what everyone was doing. And then, just like that, the Czar thought he would poll around about New Year’s resolutions. We wandered down to the … Continue reading →
The Czar will not laud 2011. For many personal reasons too dark and dank to list on this happy site, it really was a lousy year for him and his family, and nearly all of his friends and relations. Too … Continue reading →
Merry Christmas. It is a beautiful morning, no matter what. The Gormogons are very excited, and you can see us all gathered around the tree opening our gifts. Your Œcumenical Volgi, or 孔夫子, for those who came in late, or … Continue reading →
Uncle Jay finds this gem. A Terry Gilliam salute to Christmas cards. Surprisingly fun for the whole family. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes … Continue reading →
A very happy and most wonderful Thanksgiving from all of us at the Castle (well, maybe not the Tcho-Tchos). As many of you know, Thanksgiving is the Czar’s favorite holiday; even better than the Feast of Zdravgul, which we celebrated … Continue reading →
Today is often called America’s birthday, which is correct on so many levels, but yet not enough—because it is our birthday as well: yours, ours, the guy next door, the kid dribbling the soccer ball in the field, and the … Continue reading →
Today is Flag Day, and like many of us at the Big G, the Czar ensures that on nearly every day of the year, his flag is up and flying. When the flag really begins to fray and fall apart, … Continue reading →
No possible additional comment. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia … Continue reading →
Ordinarily, on a holiday like Memorial Day, you get a lecture about how good you have it, and how you should be remembering all those lost lives rather than going out and partying. Not this year, though. Instead, with this … Continue reading →
From your pals at the Castle. Our plans for world oppression and domination will pause, briefly, today out of respect. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in … Continue reading →
Hope it was a good time. Cute song: Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →The Big G wishes you, your friends, and your family a very happy and prosperous new year. We should start the day off right with a list of predictions for 2011. Anyone interested in betting against these? The President will … Continue reading →
…from the Gormogons! (from left to right, the Mandarin, GorTechie, the Œcumenical Volgi (id est, 孔夫子, The Notorious ŒV), the Czar of Muscovy, and Ghettoputer Gormogon. Taking the photo, and not in the picture, is Sleestak (one of the few … Continue reading →
From Gormogon reader MS: Today is a special day indeed for those of us who have worn our nation’s uniform and were blessed enough to survive doing so. Many of our compatriots were not so blessed and today we honor … Continue reading →
Happy Halloween. (Yeah, it’s not new…) Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →We had a beautiful Halloween over at the Castle, much like we do every day. The kids came by in good numbers, which we’re happy to see again. We all took turns manning the door (or, in GorT’s case, monitoring). … Continue reading →
Far be it from me to criticize your wiseness-ness, but dude, at least fact check against wikipedia or something before you post howlers like this: “And note the timing of Abernathy’s book. 1989 was a point in time when folk … Continue reading →
Given the good weather here in the DC area, GorT and family decided it was time to hang up the Christmas lights. Mind you, we’re not turning them on until after Thanksgiving (a family rule – 1 holiday at a … Continue reading →
To all our Jewish readers. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Ah sō des’ ne, as those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders say. Silly me, I was still calling it “September Eleventh.” I had no idea it had been Day-ified. Update: Ok, so I’ve been thinking about this for way too long. Shouldn’t … Continue reading →
From all Gormogons to all our readers around the world. Happy Mother’s Day. To all our moms, grandmoms, step-moms, foster moms, mothers-in-law, godmothers, and all those, living or gone, who took care of us. Where would we be without you … Continue reading →
Ah, Thanksgiving. The time for gorging ourselves*, bantering with relatives, watching and maybe playing football, and shopping (unless one can avoid it). In preparation for the upcoming holiday (we need to bring the pumpkin pie) and the pending move-in to … Continue reading →
Well, as you know, Sleestak mostly communicates by hissing noises, and it was years before ‘Puter even realized he had an accent. But over time, we learned to communicate a fair bit with him, and today, on this Mother’s Day, … Continue reading →
The Czar wandered about the Castle and asked how each of us would be celebrating the Bicenennial of our first Independence Day. Ghettoputer was planning on throwing hand grenades into the fishing pond. There is evidently a bass of significant … Continue reading →
