The esteemed royal surgeon, Dr. J. sent this kind note to your Mandarin in response to this post: Inscrutable Mandarin, Nice post. It’s been too long. If I recall, America evolved into a corporate state in Robocop where there was … Continue reading →
And it is a gripping read. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of … Continue reading →
It’s entirely possible he got that pork recipe from the Necronomicon, Seven Cryptical Books of Hsan, or perhaps a Weber or other grill cookbook… Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Hi. Czar here. Due to a technical error that appears to lie with our provider, our posts are not presently showing who wrote which post. You can probably guess who wrote which, but until we figure out whom the Czar … Continue reading →
As GorT notes below, many leftist Catholics believe that God commands us to structure government to provide for the perceived “needs” of all. In essence, leftist Catholics use government to impose their religious views on others. But it’s OK, because … Continue reading →
I had planned to write about this particular subject tonight but I was distracted by coaching my daughter’s team. Upon returning home, I received an email from the Volgi pointing to a particularly excellent take down of the instigators of … Continue reading →
“You know,” the Czar said to his foreign policy advisor as we pushed two shells into the shotgun, “Polls are funny things, Vanya.” We yelled pull, and Ivan Zborikov held two orange plates out at arm’s length, one in each … Continue reading →
The Czar is embarrassed about the post produced by the Mandarin’s non sequitur amplifier, but is delighted to receive so much mail from readers on the slow loris video that attached itself to the post. The Czar was eager to … Continue reading →
On August 21, 1670, Jacques Bossuet, the bishop of Meaux and official preacher to the court of Louis XIV, pronounced the eulogy for Princess Henrietta of England before the Prince of Condé. The Duchess of Orléans had died at 26 … Continue reading →
Like these guys. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Courtesy of FotG Jonathan Last: JACKPOT! GorTGorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin received the following electronic letters regarding the Education at What Cost post. Mandy, You hit that one out of the park. You’re pretty much dead on. There is only one element with regard to public schools in underserved … Continue reading →
‘Puter appreciates the Czar’s kind words. It is a pleasant change from the 3:00 a.m. closing time drunken beatings. ‘Puter has had similar thoughts kicking around in his head for a while. What to make of the lack of cohesion … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin received this short communiqué from the royal surgeon regarding this post. What’s a liberal doing with a firearm? Me thought’m lefty pale-face hate’m firestick. Best,Dr. J Well Dr. J you have to remember that liberals/progressives operate under the … Continue reading →
HuffPo decided to go after George W. Bush (he’s relevant politically now, right?) for plagiarism…of his own words! Dana Loesch over at Big Government does a nice job of taking it apart – check it out. The icing on the … Continue reading →
Loyal Gormogon operative D.T. has filed the following request through the castle’s 24-hour help desk line at 1-666-BOOTGUT: Oh Terrible Mandarin, who by the way is not named after those yummy oranges after all, I am the proud father of … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative H writes in to correct a grammatical error in one of your Mandarin’s post: It’s “reins in”, unless your horse is royalty. Please don’t raze my homestead for daring to correct your most Gormogonessess. Rest assured operative H … Continue reading →
‘Puter’s written on populism and the housing/financial/consumer confidence crisis for over a year now. ‘Puter’s been critical of both the Bush Administration and the Obama Administration for creating, mishandling and exacerbating the crisis through government intervention. Today, a new low … Continue reading →
Well, James O’Keefe has issued a statement about whatever the hell it was he was trying to do with his video sting of CNN’s Abbie Boudreau. Go ahead and read it, if you want. Or do not bother—the result is … Continue reading →
Okay, so you’ve been following Pigford v. Vilsack, right? Us neither. Basically, this is a class-action suit filed against the Secretary of Agriculture by African-American farmers for past discrimination by USDA loan programs. Back in February, the two parties settled … Continue reading →
Well, now and again, the Czar gets surprised. But he did not see this one coming: Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) has dipped below 50% in the polls. The Czar cannot imagine a more “safe” Democratic seat, but a recent poll … Continue reading →
The Mandarin sees all. Like when the Volgi tied ‘Puter’s neck collar to a rope around the tree, and we all watched ‘Puter repeatedly run in circles around the tree until he fell asleep with exhaustion—and then the Czar tightened … Continue reading →
Some too-smart-by-half, jackass, gooey-liberal editor at ABC News just posted this great headline, running in the video section at the top of the ABC News website: WATCH: Christine O’Donnell’s Masturbation Stance Get it? That stoopid Tea Partier Christianist lady stands … Continue reading →
…anti-colonialism, argues Dinesh D’Souza: But instead of readying us for the challenge, our President is trapped in his father’s time machine. Incredibly, the U.S. is being ruled according to the dreams of a Luo tribesman of the 1950s. This philandering, … Continue reading →
High, high above the law. At least that’s what staffers for embattled Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA) think of themselves. One of Sen. Boxer’s senior staffers, Marcus Stanley, was busted bringing pot through a security checkpoint at the Hart Office Building … Continue reading →
Tim Slagle writes a nice, quick read on why Las Vegas is more like Washington, DC than people realize. A lot of good pull-quote candidates, but the Czar went with this one: All the marble waterfalls, the replicas of other … Continue reading →
Turns out, not everyone has heard about Obama economic advisor Christina Romer’s more-or-less farewell speech at the National Press Club. Basically, she said she has no freaking clue how things work. That, of course, is our take away. She put … Continue reading →
Two great pieces at Commentary for you to read. First, Jennifer Rubin very correctly assesses the weird world liberals occupy, making two salient points the Czar has often made: (1) conservatives understand liberals very well whereas liberals cannot comprehend conservatives, … Continue reading →
Alaska incumbent Lisa Murkowski appears to have lost the primary to Tea Party candidate Joe Miller. From his point of view, he clinched it, with only 2% of the votes uncounted. Of course, she is optimistic because in Alaska, that … Continue reading →
Dear ‘Puter, The public and media obsession with presidential vacations (and in addition to celebrity break-ups is one of the few mutual passions these divergent groups share) is not based on a concern that the President is unavailable. Rather, the … Continue reading →
JS and the Czar were celebrating the conclusion of Top Shot with a little brandy at the Castle lounge the other evening when JS asked the Czar if rumors of war between Saudi Arabia and Iran were possible…more so than … Continue reading →
Nice work, whoever you guys are. Confucius, Œc. Vol.Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu. 3.14.242.153
Continue reading →Bear in mind that although generally safe to use, ingesting this product while drinking 151 rum will activate the mind control ingredient. For that same reason, do not combine this sauce with infant formula. And now you know why they … Continue reading →
JAB uppercuts this one: Your Czarness, Lay off the HaterAde! There are doubtless many reasons that we should model our lives on the Amish. You’ll never see an Amish woman subjugating herself to some slutty, sexist dress-code enforced on her … Continue reading →
Ewww. The Volgi sends me this link, and wonders what my take on it is. Read it if you dare. Basically, some guy worked out that the Amish are thriving in a down economy because (a) they avoid litigation, (b) … Continue reading →
Mmmmmmm. The Czar does not disagree with GorT’s definition of the ampere. But the ampere is a unit of measure, as he said, which identifies the amount of electrons that occupy a space in a given time. Amperage is how … Continue reading →
Gormogon heavy lifter DT writes in: I think we can probably agree that Kensians [sic] are a bunch of self-deluding cousin-lovers, who can’t seem to separate reality from their elaborately crafted models (viz. Krugman, Pelosi, etc.). The massive bailouts and … Continue reading →
Look, as the President would say, it’s like this. We have been so busy with the Gormogonicon MMX event (estimated attendance was over one billion…beat that, nine-twelvers!) that the mail has been backing up. So here is a collection of … Continue reading →
Fret not, Geep. Although your attendence will be missed, we fully understand your absence. If it is any consolation, we shall also pour a series of 40 ouncers on the curb in your memory. Except, we’re going to drink ours, … Continue reading →
You could just about spend the better part of a day here at Rep. Paul Ryan’s website. And you should. Rather than read the same gripes about the current administration, how refreshing it is to read Mr. Ryan’s proposals to … Continue reading →
Let us go over some comments flying over the intersphere. Andrew Breitbart owes Shirley Sherrod an apology. Shirley Sherrod owes Andrew Breitbart an apology. The NAACP owes Shirley Sherrod an apology. Andrew Breitbart owes the NAACP an apology. FoxNews owes … Continue reading →
Color us not at all surprised. Finally, the Czar is not the only voice out there condemning the Obama administration as unfriendly toward science. Remember all the real and imagined missteps the Bush administration took with science? And how President … Continue reading →
Turns out teens are not the only ones “sexting”—sending naughty images and pornie-talk back and forth via mobile devices. It seems that adults and senior citizens are just as busy (or perhaps, bizzay) sexting as the kids are. By the … Continue reading →
President Obama to the Republican Party’s opposition increasing spending on unemployment benefits: Think about what these stalling tactics mean for the millions of Americans who’ve lost their jobs since the recession began. Over the past several weeks, more than two … Continue reading →
Gormogon follower Ted writes in with the following (in response to this one): I loved your post on proposals to balance the budget. My own humble offering to increase the speed at which this is done is to cap Congressional … Continue reading →
Seems to start off good. First The Christian Science Monitor picks up the story questioning whether racial epithets were hurled at Congressional Black Caucus members on March 20. This might be the largest big-name news outfit to highlight this painfully … Continue reading →
Advertisement The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death … Continue reading →
According to this article over at WorldNetDaily, Afghanistan’s Taliban terrorists are training monkeys to shoot at American soldiers. Apparently, the information regarding these simian soldiers comes from British and Chinese media agencies. The Chinese report states that the Taliban forces … Continue reading →
Very interesting thought piece by Bernard Goldberg that addresses some buzz we ourselves have heard others whispering about: what are the odds that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton could run against Barack Obama for the 2012 Democratic nomination? And, he … Continue reading →
Thank Goodness the LeBron James ordeal is over, so we can go back to thinking about healthcare reform. The President cannot seem to get anything right. He seems to have, once again, bet on the losing side on immigration. And … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative KM writes in with this observation regarding the new NASA outreach program to the Muslim world… I think we’re missing the real purpose our space program could have for the Muslims. This may be what President Obama (a … Continue reading →
Thank goodness the big effing deal of Healthcare reform is over, so we can finally get the President back to work dealing with an out-of-control foreign policy, a disastrous oil spill, and an economy that continues to worsen. And so? … Continue reading →
Hot dog-eating phenom Takeru Kobayashi managed to get arrested yesterday for apparently going berserk at a hot dog eating contest he was contractually prohibited from attempting. This should divert attention away from Al Gore for a while. The Czar of … Continue reading →
The arrogance of the Obama administration is unparalleled. It isn’t so much that they don’t get it. It’s that they think you don’t get it. But Americans are way smarter than Gibbs assumes. Poll numbers show that the President is … Continue reading →
Happy Birthday, America. Without question, the United States of America remains the greatest country in the world. Even if you compile all the neat places you might otherwise consider visiting or inhabiting, the top of that list is a distant … Continue reading →
Dear Czar, Happy Independence Day! Dr. J, Mrs. Dr. J (who if you recall is even to the right of Dr. J), and the little interns went to Whole Foods today to stock up on grillables for the rest of … Continue reading →
Evidently, ‘Puter gave Operative MC the weekend off for the holiday, because MC has whacked the Czar with not one but two unrelated questions. I didn’t know this until yesterday, not having bought a ceiling fan in the last year … Continue reading →
Secret Gormogon operative, who is code named REM SLEEP is working on a secret project for us that involves…guess what? That’s right—a streak-free window cleaner. Come to think of it, we should probably re-assign him to that Dream Control project … Continue reading →
Learn more. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the … Continue reading →
Look, it’s like this. The Czar does not care for Geico commercials, because they are never as funny as their ad people think they are. But then, the Czar saw this on television Sunday, and thinks it is easily the … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin was bemused by the story over the weekend of Vice President Joe Biden’s visit to Kopp’s Custard in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. In what may turn into another Joe the Plumber moment in American politics, the Vice President called the … Continue reading →
Sen. Byrd died last night. May God grant him eternal rest. 'PuterAlways right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully follows economic … Continue reading →
This is a story that the Czar and the Mandarin both feel deserves more attention. Wal-Mart elected to open its second Chicago-area store, and targeted a neighborhood struggling with terrible unemployment. Wal-Mart thought that the neighborhood could use about 1500 … Continue reading →
There’s been plenty of discourse about McChrystal and Petraeus and how this plays out with Obama’s prior comments about Petreaus but one thing that hasn’t been widely covered is the following: “courageous restraint”. Dr. J wrote in a few days … Continue reading →
The Czar has decided that working for National Geographic magazine must be a pretty difficult gig. Beloved by everybody, the magazine is unable to publish an article that does not offend either liberals or conservatives, judging by the letters section. … Continue reading →
You may have heard that there is a whooping cough epidemic in California. Babies have died. Whooping cough is readily preventable with a basic vaccination, but requires boosters up until age 5 to be life-saving. Not being reported? The pertussis … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative MC writes in on the General Stanley McChrystal incident: Mighty Czar, It appears GEN McChrystal switched to decaf versions too early. I wondered about GEN McChrystal the first time he was in Afghanistan. I think he was more … Continue reading →
The USGS reports via the always rewarding Universe Today that… The name Nancy has been approved for a crater on Venus located at 6.4N, 272.2E. Yep, you will find it there on the Hinemoa Planitia. Was it named after anyone … Continue reading →
The President is becoming widely recognized as a bumbling fool. Congress is dismissed as an ineffectual, disconnected entity. Actor Steven Weber knows who to blame. The conservatives, of course. Blame? Or thank? Weber, who displays the deep sense of political … Continue reading →
So as always, you are not alone. It seems that Muslims, worldwide, are also getting weary of Obama as President. You might at first laugh, thinking that for all his bowing and scraping, he still comes off like a socially … Continue reading →
Alexi Giannoulias (D) is running for US Senator from Illinois. He is presently the state treasurer, is a long-time friend of the President, and is the subject of ongoing criminal investigations regarding his involvement with a failing bank that apparently … Continue reading →
Got two in the pouch today. And since we are talking about mail, and not groin shots, the Czar would be happy to share. Actually, the Czar is happy to share groin shots, too, if you would all kindly form … Continue reading →
Trust us. The title of this post will garnish tons of hits. Meanwhile, and fully unrelatedly, Operative JS writes in to say: Dear Glorious Czar, I come to ask you a favor. I know that you are watching the World … Continue reading →
Dr. J. tied this to a rock and threw it through our cafeteria window, comedically perfect because GorT was just complaining that there wasn’t enough silicate matter in his eggs. Then the rock smashed through the window, covering him and … Continue reading →
Thank goodness that Abby Sunderland was found alive and well, especially after a massive international rescue attempt that the Czar concludes should be paid for by her dumbass parents. The Czar is impressed with Ms. Sunderland’s bravery and courage, particularly … Continue reading →
As reported here, the Empire State Building was lit up in red and gold to honor the Communist regime in China. Very touching. Some Catholic groups would like the tower lit up in blue and white—just for the night of … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin received this inquiry from our operative CM… O Great Manipulator of Space, Time and Dimension–is this your handiwork? I can think of no other explanation, rational or otherwise… Click here. While your Mandarin is able to warp the … Continue reading →
Today is Царевич’s birthday party, so the Czar will be tied up most of the day. For some reason, that rope escape trick entertains the kids. With that, the Czar thought he should go through his backlog of reader mail. … Continue reading →
As if the Social Justice meme has not gone out of control enough, now there are protestors outside the Scripps National Spelling Bee demanding that American English spelling be made easier. The cost of clinging to traditional spellings, they say, … Continue reading →
GorT and family have just returned from a special assignment on the left coast and here is a dump from the databanks that passes as a trip report. Count yourselves lucky – The Mandarin just comes and goes and no … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin received this email today at work from the security firm Chameleon Associates: Hezbollah is now promoting itself via “Jihadi tours” of their facilities in southern Lebanon. For about US$25, you can spend the day and see life size … Continue reading →
Well, the EU, UN, and State Department has decided that Israel has done a Bad Thing. And indeed the mainstream news media is lightning-quick to describe the event as an “attack” on “humanitarian workers,” emphatically and persistently, as if trying … Continue reading →
One of the bigger, more persistent myths in the last 60 years of Korean history is the role of China. When North Korean tanks and infantry rolled into the South in June of 1950, bases all over the world went … Continue reading →
A majority of Americans think the President’s handling of the oil spill has been poor. The Czar of MuscovyБожію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in … Continue reading →
Wow, so far this evening we have had a staff-fighting bear, a kung-fu monkey, a karate dog, and a donkey suicide bomber. I not quite sure if this is just some weird coincidence or the plot to a new fall … Continue reading →
The Czar for one welcomes this progress. Here is Gormogon operative TD and friend, in an early experiment. Here is why we gave up on monkeys all together. You can even hear a Gormogon operative (not sure whom) comment why. … Continue reading →
After seeing the movie Shrek Forever After this weekend your Mandarin’s first thought when reading the Jerusalem Post headline “Donkey Detonated on Gaza Border,” was that their movie reviewer also saw the film. But in reality it turns out that … Continue reading →
And now, the stage is set. Dr. J, the Royal Surgeon of the Gormogons, has agreed to a typically friendly wager with the Czar over the outcome. The Czar wishes that all who fear and obey him know the terms … Continue reading →
Later this summer, we will celebrate the 50th anniversary of the first man in space. Wait, GorT, you’re wrong, Yuri Alekseyevich Gagarin’s flight was on April 12th, 1961 making last month the 49th anniversary. Well let me introduce you to … Continue reading →
You read that right. Hawaii, a usually stalwart Democratic state, has put its first Republican into Congress in a very long time. Yes, in Obama’s old district when he lived there. The Czar has had the opportunity to hear Rep. … Continue reading →
Chicago’s Mayor Daley takes a lot of crap from all sides. But the uncomfortable fact is that he is a really good mayor by Chicago standards: although hated by many on the right, one cannot escape the fact that he … Continue reading →
They might, if they were the yellow dwarf star WASP-12. One of its planets, WASP-12b, is so close to the star’s surface that the intense heat and gravitational tide are literally dissolving the planet into the star. Even then, calculations … Continue reading →
The Czar is of course a dear fan of science, but not the media. Sometimes the two collaborate to tick us off, though. Two studies caught our eye in the last 24 hours.1. Scientists link processed meats like bacon and … Continue reading →
You probably noticed a little book carousel that appears to the left. What? You haven’t clicked on it? What? Go ahead. No, it doesn’t force you to buy anything. It simply takes you to a listing of our favorite books, … Continue reading →
The oddly-still-in-business PCWorld has an…interesting online article the Czar found on how to install the Android OS on your iPhone. Apparently, it takes 32-bit Linux system (or virtual Linux machine), a bunch of uncompiled utilities available on the web, some … Continue reading →
Gormogon operative CC takes a break from monitoring Earth’s weather for us from 22,000 miles up. Monitoring. Heh. Know all that weird weather Europe had last winter? The problem with the Czar’s Spotlight on Thailand post was how much to … Continue reading →
Dear Czar, FLYERS! Respectfully,Dr. JRoyal Surgeon of the Gormogons Yep! And what about the weird symmetry of Boston going up three games, then Philly getting four in a row…and, in the last game, Boston going up three points to have … Continue reading →
Your Mandarin happened upon the story of university student Jessica Colotl today. You may be wondering what makes Jessica newsworthy. Well according to the article on CNN.com, Jessica has become a lightning rod in the immigration debate and part of … Continue reading →
The Czar frequently needs to hit a reset button once in a while, and point out where both liberals and conservatives should be agreeing, and, like today, where they need to make some changes. Advice to Liberals. 1. Republicans and … Continue reading →
